Happy St Patty's Day!! In honor of the day, some Irish humor:
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
Brenda replies "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news! My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
"Aye, that he did, Father..."said Mary
The priest asks "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that **** gun!!"'
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?"he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."
"Of course you can come in, Tim, you're always welcome. But where's my husband?
"That's what I'm here to be tellin' ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guiness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me..."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Seamus is dead & gone. I'm sorry."
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guiness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, no Brenda...no."
"Fact is, he got out three times to pee."