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Old June 1st, 2002, 02:54 PM
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Default The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Seafan's story in a thread (about CA) after the Get Lei'd cruise, followed by a comment by Divetex in another thread, got me to wondering....

What's the Dumbest Thing you ever heard or saw on a cruise ship?

Cruise Director's stories that we've all heard don't count. While I'm sure they AT ONE TIME actually occurred, let's hear your REAL stories.

From my own personal experiences, the dumbest was likely overhearing the couple seeking a change of dining room tables on the Explorer of the Seas. They requested a change of tablemates because they were vegetarians, and couldn't stand to see others
eating meat.

Table for two in their cabin coming right up for these world travellers <G>

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Old June 1st, 2002, 04:09 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

The dumbest thing I've ever heard came from the people sitting at our diningroom table about 10 years ago. nothing I've heard since has come close. The man of the group kept insisting that the reason they have buffets on the sundeck was for the people that booked their cruises late. The dining room only holds so many and when it's full you have to have your meals outside. I kept telling him that wasn't true but he never believed me. I'm sure the poor man to this day books his cruises way in advance so he can be assured a seat in the diningroom. Linda
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Old June 1st, 2002, 04:34 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

The woman complaining in the elevator because it rained in the rainforest and ruined her hairdo???

The people who complained because the PJ sail-away was not announced in the "Daily"????

The list goes on and on.

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Old June 1st, 2002, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Though I wasn't there but I heard that people on a ship (ship unnamed to protect the innocent) asked "Why there were so many people wearing antlers in Hawaii".

I personally heard several ask on a cruise "Is that Christmas tree actually walking".
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Old June 1st, 2002, 05:25 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

From the 5/13 Summit. The ship was docked at Nawiliwili, I was in a deck chair by the pool. A woman asked the Pool Waiter, "Why is it so hot?"

He replied, quite sensibly, "We're in Hawaii."

But wait. Later, that same cruise....

I was swaddled in blankets, in a different deck chair on one of those cold days. A group of four walked by, and as they passed one of them looked at me in my plaid blanket and said, "Geez, a trip to Hawaii and look how cold it is."

We were, latitudinally speaking, somewhere North of San Francisco... in May.

Speaking of cold, that was the day we asked the Pool Waiter if the pool bar had any coffee drinks; he replied no, they didn't, but that he would go into the buffet, get some coffee and then pick up a liquer at the bar for us. He did, and came back with tray, coffee cups filled and covered to retain heat, saucers, spoons, cream & sugar, napkins, and two shot glasses, one with the requested Kahlua and one with Grand Marnier.

Not exactly bouillon on the North Atlantic, but a fine afternoon nonetheless!

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Old June 1st, 2002, 05:36 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

I heard that someone (I wont mention names) had a new wine steward one evening toward the end of their cruise. They were on the 2nd of 5 sea days when they got a new somolier (SP) and this one said that the other wine steward had just broken their arm and wouldn't be their steward for the rest of the cruise.
This one person at the table asked, "Did they brake it on board?"
(HINT: this was the second sea day of 5 and the wine steward was there with no broken bones the night before)
(I am not mentioning names. :O) )

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Old June 1st, 2002, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

spelling correction - break instead of brake.
:O)
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Old June 1st, 2002, 06:11 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Well, the group on the Mercury this past March take the cake...

...in Ushuaia, Argentina it was cold (after all, you are only about 800 or so miles from Antartica) and a lady commented, I just can't understand why it's cold. I told her, that we were very far south, what did she expect and she replied...but, we are on a cruise, it isn't supposed to be cold.

...another, on our rough sea day commented that they had no idea that the seas would be rough and that they didn't particularly like so many days at sea. I said, well this particular sailing is notorious for rough seas, why do they think so many ships sunk around the cape area. No, they did no research, it was just a good deal and they really had no idea where they were going.

Now, the comment about the wine steward, oh pluuueeeaaassseeee, I was merely concernced that she had 'fallen overboard'? It was said after SeaFan and MGram (others included) had been forcing cocktails down my throat pre-dinner and putting all this wine in glasses in front of me.
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Old June 1st, 2002, 06:12 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Oh, but Carole....it was worse than that!!! It was our LAST night aboard after 5 consecutive days at sea!!! I was sitting across from this VERY embarrased person you left unnamed (HE is 1 of MY twins!, but I won't mention names either <VBEG>) Yep...that's right......it was none other than "Mr. I have been on 49 cruises'!

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Old June 1st, 2002, 06:18 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

oops. forgot it was the LAST day, and I was so good about not mentioning the name, but he admitted it!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha

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Old June 1st, 2002, 06:58 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Oh puhhhhleeeeaaase, Mr. Aholic! Who was shoving drinks down who's throats that night? I can tell you it wasn't the rest of us sitting in the Martini Bar that night!

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Old June 1st, 2002, 08:28 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

I have to repeat the one I posted on an earlier thread. I overheard a couple in an elevator on the Summit, on one of the rainy days, complaining to another pair that they would never sail with Celebrity again, since Celebrity had been so neglectful as to schedule a Hawaii cruise to sail during rainy weather. Go figure.

Then there's the one that I personally overheard on a dive boat out of Grand Cayman. The dive boat captain asked a lady diver why she was carrying three small, empty bottles. She told him that she was a new diver, and had never been to the Cayman Islands before, and she wanted samples of the sea water. "Why three of them," he asked. Her response was a classic: "One for the clearout where it's deep."
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Old June 1st, 2002, 08:57 PM
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Default Re: Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Wow - these are really funny :-)

I'm sure more will come to me, but on my last cruise we were on a day at sea and I was in the library. A gentleman asked me if I knew where he could gets today's newspaper.

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Old June 1st, 2002, 09:35 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

On our last cruise on the Grand Princess, it was the night prior to disembarkation.
I was in line at the Purser's desk and the lady in front of me was filling out a comment card.
She turned to her husband, and asked "What ship are we on?" (Remember, this was the last night of the cruise).
I wonder how she found her way back to the ship after shore excursions....?????

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Old June 1st, 2002, 09:37 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

I feel quite grumpy about that particular wine stewardess. I THOUGHT we had come to an agreement that she would be tipped privately for corkage for bottles brought to our table.

She accepted a rather handsome tip (cash) then proceeded to charge us for every un-corked bottle for the entire 11 days. On the last night. Obviously, there was no redress since we were outside the local rules and we'd already handed over the cash.

She also didn't know diddly about wines.

I guess there are FOUR kinds of people who can or can't count.

And she didn't even have the good grace to thank us for the (large) tip.

Worst part was that she charged tablemates for wine that WE brought to the table and charged us a SECOND time. Grrrrr.

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Old June 1st, 2002, 10:20 PM
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August, 1986, Song of Norway, Weastern Carribean, RT Miami. Our table was invited to have dinner with the Captain. Everything was very prim and proper and all of the wait staff were at their very best. When the food arrived, "Mister Experienced Sailer" ( a lad of 20 something who was in the Navy) turned his meal back saying that it was not what he ordered! The Captain took a bite of his food to allow the rest of us to eat a delicious meal. That was a very uncomfortable situation. We later agreed that he perhaps had a few too many and couldn't remember his name, much less anything else.

At the end of the cruise, this same "Experienced Sailer" said that he would never sail again on this ship because the shower heads were so low to the tubs that he had to get on his hands and knees to wash his hair! Go figure.
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Old June 2nd, 2002, 10:23 AM
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Default Re: Re: Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Divetex must have been on the elevator with Mrs Robo or these women were complaining a lot as she heard these couple of women state that the would not sail with Celebrity again because when the sail with RCI they are nice enough to provide sunshine and nice weather on their cruises! Mrs Robo told them it was not the cruiselines fault for the weather but these old ladies insisted that RCI made sure they had sunshine so she bit her lip and got away from them.
Jim

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Old June 2nd, 2002, 02:00 PM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

Hello,

The dumbest thing i continually hear is there are no available deck chairs to sit in, or that they are all reserved.....
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Old June 3rd, 2002, 08:10 AM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

I was sitting in the bar next to a couple who obviously had come there to watch a football game. I told her it was not on because we were too far from shore for reception. She said, "What!!! You mean they don't have cable?"

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Old June 3rd, 2002, 08:53 AM
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Default Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

How about, "Has anyone seen Kuki?"
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Old June 23rd, 2002, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: Re: The Dumbest Things Heard on a Ship?

About your ponderance of how the woman found her way back to the ship after excursions...if you've ever been on an excursion, didn't you automatically get transported back to the ship? Just wondering...
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