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Old October 30th, 2002, 01:00 PM
Carole and Johnny's Avatar
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Default OT- JOKE

===========
disclaimer: This is about daughters in general. No reference to anyone living or dead is implied.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, linage and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information (like psychological profile and polygraph test) as required.
================================================== =====
Name:___________________________Date of Birth:______________________
Height:____________ Weight:____________ I.Q.___________ GPA:_________
Social Security Number:___________________ Driver's License #:____________
Boy Scout Rank:_____________________________________________ ______
Home Address:____________________________ City:____________________
State:____________________________ Zip Code:_______________________
================================================== =====

How far can you run: 40 yards?_______________ 2 miles?___________________
Do you own a? A)Van____ B)Truck with oversized tires?_____ C)Waterbed?_____
Do you have an earring, nose ring or belly button ring?__________ Tatoo?_________
NOTE: If you answered YES to any part of questions #8, discontinue the application process and leave the premises!

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?__________________________
__________________________________________________ _______________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?__
__________________________________________________ _______________
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?__________________
__________________________________________________ _______________
Church you Attend:___________________ How often do you attend?____________
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and minister?_________
Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential.
(That means I won't tell anyone, ever)
If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is the__________.
If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is________________________.
A Women's place is in the _________________________.
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is__________________.
In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like__________to be contacted.
My greatest fear is__________________________________________.
When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her___________________.
NOTE: If the answer to the last question begins with a "B", discontinue the application process and leave the premises. Keep your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
What do you want to be "IF" you grow up?____________________________
Have you ever been fingerprinted?______
Had a DNA sample taken and recorded?_________
Your dentist is__________________ Emergency phone #__________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT,
UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE,
ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND/OR HOT POKERS.
Signature________________________


Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write.
(It could cause disqualification and injury to your body.)

===========
disclaimer: This is about daughters in general. No reference to anyone living or dead is implied.



Post Edited (10-31-02 16:01)
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Old October 30th, 2002, 01:05 PM
Travelnut's Avatar
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

Carole,

That's cute,,,I know we could have used a form like that while raising Leah, our ONLY child. But thank goodness we made it thru those years,,,,looking back it wasn't really so bad. <bg> Leah might disagree <vbg>

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"Attitude is determined by latitude"

Geoff Peterson for President.
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Old October 30th, 2002, 02:02 PM
Captain Queeg
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Even better than those 8 simple rules.


http://www.wbrucecameron.com/pages/columns/8rules.htm
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Old October 30th, 2002, 02:27 PM
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

Don't forget Carole - the person that wants to date Ashley has to pass her Uncle Johns test too!!
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Old October 30th, 2002, 02:35 PM
Carole and Johnny's Avatar
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

===========
disclaimer: This is about daughters in general. No reference to anyone living or dead is implied.



Post Edited (10-31-02 16:00)
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Old October 30th, 2002, 09:27 PM
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

To say nothing of the "Aunt Pamda" test.

OOOOO, am I minding Ashley's business? It IS my specialty after all.

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Old October 31st, 2002, 08:17 AM
Carole and Johnny's Avatar
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Join Date: Mar 2002
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

===========
disclaimer: This is about daughters in general. No reference to anyone living or dead is implied.



Post Edited (10-31-02 16:01)
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Old October 31st, 2002, 08:26 AM
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Default Re: OT- So you want to date my daughter??

More like, Ashley's DATES don't know what they're in for...

It'll be a challenge to have to run that gauntlet!

Cheers,
Michelle B.

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