EVIL EVIL BOSS

[BUDDY]

Hi:
I love cruising just about more than anything. For the last three months I haven't been able to post very much here, as I did before. I inherited a very evil boss where I work. I've been there 16 years and now everything has changed. I have a cruise next month but I've been so stressed out I haven't even been looking forward to it and talking about it as I used to love to do. It's almost as much fun as going, thinking about what you're going to pack and talking with friends (Cruisemates). I can log on to this website at home, but I've been so stressed, that I haven't even been able to talk about this until now. When I was at work before, on our own time, we could log onto the computer and I would post messages here. First, my exercise time was taken away; then my lunch hour was changed to half an hour; then my computer time; plus some personal insults and verbal abuse from this man. Also, he has all of the good ole boys spying on me, trying to find things to get me in trouble. I know he is trying to get me to quit and I am looking for another job. I have three strikes against me I've learned. I'm a woman, I'm a civilian (he's military) and I'm older than 40. Plus, I'm the only woman working in this building. The only reason I'm writing now, is, that I missed everyone and I realized I should have logged on at home (like I'm doing now) and talked about my upcoming cruise next month to Alaska (first time to Alaska) on the Island Princess. I noticed some other posts were also about personal problems, so I hope I haven't offended anyone. In the meantime, I'm looking for a new job and I'm trying to get organized for my Alaska cruise next month. Packing is something I will have to put a lot of thought into. I should have left my problems at work and logged onto Cruisemates at home and I'm sure it would have helped me through this trying time.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Buddy

[bigjohn461]

Hello Buddy..dont think we have had the pleasure..You come here and vent more often when you are at home..we all will listen and maybe help you through the tough time you are having..Hope you can get over this and get your mind on your cruise..have a good day and come back more often..vent whenever you feel like it..God Bless.



Post Edited (07-18-04 11:38)

[Angela Z.]

I'm so sorry to hear about this and of course you can vent here.......that's part of what we;'re here for!
The anticipation is half (?) the fun and hopefully you'll have some before you take off for Alaska......you'll love it and will want to go back.
Best wishes on the new job search.
Angela Z.

[dalech]

Sorry to hear about your boss. I had one like that last year and it was miserable. Just do your best to keep a chin up.

[Lisa]

Buddy - vent away! And, document everything, and I mean everything!!! Once you find a new job, you can report your new boss to his boss, or higher on up.

Now, focus on your cruise.......rest, relaxation, good food, great company, glaciers, mountains, whales.............feel your stress slipping away.

[Cruznut2]

Hi Betty, Vent all you want, we are all friends here. Sounds like you need a good hug as well as that cruise. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BETTY}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}. Feel better soon and hope you find a better job!

Cruznut2

[rollerdonna]

Buddy (or Betty, whatever!) glad to see you back - we've missed you! Sorry to hear about your stressful boss. believe me, I know what it's like to dread going into work. I got the he** out of there a few years back, and am now working for the most wonderful (female) boss in the world. 20 women in this place, and we are a TEAM! I love going to work. Now if it wasn't for all those noisy kids.....!
You are so lucky to be going on your first Alaskan cruise. If you can't get excited, then we'll get excited for you! Please log on from home and kep us all posted on your countdown and eventually, your review and pics when you get back! In the meantime, if you'd like to share in my recent Caribbean cruise to "get in the mood", just check this board a few posts and pages back, under "Paradise Found" parts 1-5 so far. Maybe those pics will reduce your stress a little!

donna

document it all, file complaint, SUE THE BAS____! Might get enough dough to cruise all the time!! Good luck on your job search, enjoy your cruise.

So sorry to hear of your problems at work. I hope that a new job opens up for you very soon. Always feel free to share your troubles with us. We like to listen and lend our shoulders and offer words of encouragment.

Now, for that Alaska Cruise. Try and get excited for it. We are all excited for you. I'd be the happiest girl in the world if I thought I had an Alaskan Cruise to look forward too. I can't even imagine. I'll pray that you soon get the cruise euphora back, as you said the anticipation is half the fun.

Please continue to log on at home!!

VTJen
Sensation 2/2003
Majesty of the Seas 3/2004

[MaryLou]

Buddy: Stress at work is a terrible thing. You spend so much of your time there...it is terrble not to be happy. You can vent here anytime you like. Have a great time on your cruise....it sounds like you really need it!

[BobbieE]

Sounds like you were fortunate enough to have a job you liked for many years. It's awful when that cannot last and there is nothing you can do about it. Lots of luck finding a new job. Try not to let it get to you. That will only hurt you. Your upcoming cruise sounds great. Isn't it wonderful to have something like that to look forward to!!!
Enjoy the weekend.
Good Luck
Bobbie

[Phyllbo]

Glad you decided to get back on line with us, and hopefully it will help you start focusing on that wonderful Alaskan cruise you have ahead of you. I have the feeling it is coming at a perfect time for you.

From reading about your experience at work, it sounds like you are taking the right steps, and I wish you the best in that job search. I agree with Lisa and the others that you should document what is happening now in case you ever want to do something about it. Hang in there and keep us posted.

Phyll

[Thomas]

The best thing to do at work is abide by the new rules and adapt. That's the way it's going to be and bucking the system will only make matters worse. The best time to leave a job is when you have another one to go to. Good luck.

To make the cruise more enjoyable hopefully you can resign from your current job and not start the new one until after you return from Alaska. That way you can be celebrating getting out of a bad situation and into a new one.

Regards,
Thomas

Sometimes, there are just evil bosses. This happened to me at a job I had been at for 8 years. No one should have to take verbal abuse and harassment as part of their job. That is not "policy". It did not happen to me (as the boss was savvy enough to realize I was no so easily replace) but to many others in my department. Newer people hired by her thought as long as they were not treated badly, it was no problem (guess what...in the long run they were abused and fired). I filed an official complaint to personnel, even though I was not directly affected. Wrong is wrong. An investigation ensued and what I complained about was verified. She was only reprimanded. She came gunning for me, as I expected. Since I suffered from daily migraines and depression, I decided that now was a good time to apply for short-term disability, which I did. I left the next day and she could do nothing about it...didn't even have time to train someone for my position. She was left in a real bind. At the end of my short-term disability, the company was having cutbacks and I was not surprised to find myself laid off. I got 17 week severance and the opportunity to look for a new job and good references (they did need even want to go there). And the boss still didn't have anybody competent in my position.

If you are being harassed or treated differently because of your sex or age and you can prove it, turn them in to the EEOC. And think about suing them.

Pea

[JeanS]

Betty (why do some people call you Buddy?),

I agree with Pat, document EVERYTHING and contact the Dept of Labor. Perhaps they can advise you as to what to do, and speaking with an atty (at no cost, of course!) might do you some good. If you complain to your personnel dept there and give them the opportunity to make some changes, it might help. If not, you have given them the chance and have the possibility to get something out of it. And yes, don't leave until you have another job lined up!

Good luck to you, I'm sure you will enjoy your cruise even more! Just try not to think about it while you are on vacation....

[Brenda in Canada]

Buddy, I hope you can find a new job- one that is better! And don't forget to come here and vent ! As you know-there are a lot of nice people here! We also will help you get excited about your upcoming cruise!! Princess goes out of SEA now?? They used to go out of Vancouver(where I live), but I know SEA got some of the cruise business away from Vanc. Take care. Brenda in Vancouver

[BUDDY]

Thanks to everyone who responded so quickly to my message. I was pleasantly surprised by so many people who care. As for my name, it is Anita, and I used "Buddy" to post messages, as I have a Maltese dog, named Buddy. I don't know where Betty came from, except the first person who responded to this message called me by that name but it's the first time that I've heard it, and my name isn't Betty. Anyway, thanks again to all of you. I was even told that I was "too nice" for the job I was in and I said I didn't know that was a bad thing to be. Thomas hit it right on the nose when he said that I should find another job to go to from my vacation so I won't have to go back there; and that's exactly what I plan to do. I've been subjected to "sexual harrassment" also, and he made a mistake and put one thing in writing, so going to a lawyer might be my next step. My husband and I have been on a lot of cruises but this is our first time to Alaska. We're taking the land portion first for five days and then seven days on the Island Princess. I'm not going to let one person spoil my vacation and I'm trying to work something out, so that I don't have to go back afterwards. We leave the 24th of August, and there is no one trained to do my job; so I'm hoping to just BE GONE. I'm not the kind of person who leaves without proper notice, but this person has left me no alternative.
I'll keep you posted and thanks again for all of your kind responses.
Anita

[pg.]

Anita, Please, since you even have " eveidence" of sexual harrassment then PROCECUTE!
It pisses me off to think that you are being "bullied" into quiting, and that your creepy boss is getting away with being a jerk and he will do it to others!

I know you just want to focus on enjoying your cruise, and you should, but may be after?

Anyways, do enjoy your cruise, think of a nice hot coffee drink( with a shot of Baileys in it)topped with whipped cream, sipping it slowly as you sit out on deck watching the incredible Alskan scenerym slip by!!

[bigjohn461]

HELLLOOOO???..I am the culprit that called her BETTY..I am sorry I was up toooo late when I posted and must have misread the name..>BG<

Anita?..pleeeeeeze forgive me..>BG<...I will read more carefully next time..

*trudging off to the timeout corner for now* BOY! this corner has'nt changed a bit..>G<



Post Edited (07-18-04 11:54)

[DougR.]

Anita- Since you say your boss is military it follows that you are civil service. If that is true there are quite a few formal avenues you can take to counteract this boss. Your EEO counseler and office can help. If you are a union member the union can help you fight any unjust attempt at dicipline. Another hint: bullies generally back down when challenged. I have tamed quite a few tyrants-in training during my time both on active duty and as a federal employee.

[MichelleP]

Anita, I'm sorry you're being subjected to such a horrible work environment. I hope you find another job ASAP. I also hope you get more excited about your Alaska cruise. I'm glad you have it to look forward to, it will do you good.

Cheers,
Michelle P.

Buddy! Vent away with us!! Take that vacation & relax & enjoy & then get another job!!! Life is way way too short to spend it in a job you hate!

Mark&Deb