Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Chit - Chat for Cruisers
Register Forgot Password?

Chit - Chat for Cruisers Open Forum for non-cruise posts. Please refrain from inflammatory rhetoric that could be considered offensive. We reserve the right to edit or delete for any reason.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 12:37 PM
sue's Avatar
sue sue is offline
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 5,111
Default Help: Need encouragement

Okay here I am crying <again> and I am so fed up with my oldest daughter. She is almost 21 and why should I be taking care of her burdens? Never mind the stunt she pulled earlier in the week< me punching bag> but today around noon youngest daughter "woke her up" by taking the dog out. Never mind oldest was sleeping with baby on sofa in living room and not in her room and it was 12..that is noon. So oldest yells and screams at youngest and when I try to intervene I was called every name in the book and more. And yes, she has always been that way before the baby too. Last night husband stayed up with baby..and I can't remember with all this trouble where him and I are because everything is getting drowned out. *Sniff* I can't leave to go even to get a news paper because oldest will pick a fight with younger ones.

She moved in with us because the people she lived with did not want her. We are paying for every thing and money is getting tight. I am bringing her to all the places and bending over backwards for her. So to top it off after she yelled and called me names she informed me I am not allowed to participate in babies first bath. She does the same thing to the father..trying to black mail him with the baby. I told her this doesn't work with me and if this is what she wants go ahead..I will stay out. She complains there is never food in the house < there is but she doesn't want to make any.> Other kids are fine with in the house and even make themselves something.

I am so worn out and I feel like packing my bags and just leave............I am sooooo serious.

__________________
June 1st 2015--- Denali Explorer Cruise on Star Princess!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 12:41 PM
MichelleP's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: sunny Orlando, Florida
Posts: 3,362
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Oh Sue, many hugs coming your way. It will get better soon.

I'm praying for you and your family!

Cheers,
Michelle P.

__________________

Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 12:50 PM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 429
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

You are in our prayers. Hopefully this will soon get better.

__________________
ms Zuiderdam - May 2006

Carnival Mardi Gras - July 1991
RCCL Viking Serenade - November 1994
Carnival Pride - September 2004
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 01:16 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Orlando
Posts: 4,424
Send a message via AIM to Angela Z.
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue,
I'm sure emotions are running high at your house and if I were you I'm sure I'd be crying too. You know in your heart that you're doing everything you can for her and at some point she'll snap out of it and realize how lucky she is to have you and your husband for parents. The mean time will be pretty rough though but you're a strong person and will go on....we're always here to listen.
Angela Z.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 01:25 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Palmer, Massachusetts
Posts: 12,716
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

oh sue, my heart goes out to you. You need to be strong, your daughter is going through some major changes - hormones are raging all over the place, the littlest thing could set her off, she also could be suffering some sort of post-partum depression, it might be worth a trip to the doctor.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 01:39 PM
DENISE H
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement



Sue i wise you the best of luck with this problem hope every thing works out for you
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 03:09 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,278
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, it is a shame you are having such a miserable time with your daughter. You surely don't deserve the way she is treating you and the rest of the family. She should be so grateful for all you've done for her. Please hang in there and be strong - that this too shall pass. Sending out prayers for help to all of you.
Cindy

__________________
Nieuw Amsterdam
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 03:29 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,061
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, Hang in there. I don't know what to say-hopefully the postpartum hormones will pass and she will realize how much work you are already doing for her(and the baby). Perhaps she is also realizing how much time/effort this Mothering thing actually takes and is angry about it! Feel free to get encouragement here on the Boards. Sincerely from Brenda in Vancouver P.S. The baby is as cute as a "button"!!!!!

__________________
NCL Jewel March 14/08(Southern Caribb.)VALOR Jan. 7 /07(Western Caribb. again!)
VALOR Jan/05-our first family cruise was great!
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 03:44 PM
Phyllbo's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 6,502
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I know with the baby, it makes it doubly hard for you because you want to protect him, and make sure that he is taken care of. Have you looked into any services that may be available in your area to help you deal with all of this? A lot of time there is help out there if you just know where to look for it. You won't be able to change your daughter, but you may find out some things that you can do to improve the situation, and make sure little Aiden is taken care of. He is very fortunate and blessed to have such loving grandparents.

My prayers are with you.

Phyll

Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 04:34 PM
VTJen
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, so sorry to hear that things with your oldest daughter are continuing. Thankfully for the babies sake you are there to watch out for his well being. I don't know what to say or any advice to give as I don't know your daughter to know how she would react to things. Is there any way she would go for counseling, or anger managment class or parenting classes or anything. I'm sure she wouldn't want too, but it seems like if she's ever going to be on her own with Aiden she has some steps she needs to working towad. As they get bigger their problems are so much harder to fix. Not like a skinned knee where a bandaid and kiss take care of the problem.

Keep hanging in there - easier to say, then do. I hope your other daughters realize what a special mom you are. It sounds like they appreciate all you do for them. I'll keep praying.

Vent when ever you need too. We love you and care about you!

VTJen
Sensation 2/2003
Majesty of the Seas 3/2004
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 04:47 PM
lexxity's Avatar
Senior Member
Yeoman
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Manchester, England.
Posts: 547
Send a message via MSN to lexxity
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

oh sue, you poor darling! please if you need to talk you can always e-mail me and we'll have a nice little chat. i'm sure you are very upset and i don't blame you. Please remember you have a lot of people here you can always talk too.
lexxity

__________________
What do you mean this isn't how they eat onboard?

Queen Elizabeth 2 - Trans-Atlantic 2001
Queen Mary 2 - Caribbean - 2004
Queen Mary 2 - Mediterranean - 2004


QM2 Transatlantic
QE2 40th Anniversary Round Britain Cruise.
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 04:59 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,988
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

New mom's can be emotional beyond all reasonableness even when all else in the
mix is "normal". Throw in the living at home thing and all the rest and you end up with a very tense situation for everyone.
We lived with my inlaws for almost a year. When the baby cried at night I had to take her to the far end of the house to keep from waking the extended family. It seemed at the time we were almost always on each others nerves. The good news is that it all gets better. "Count to ten" , try and keep your cool. Try and get the siblings to bend over backwards a bit. I know you shouldn't have to and neither should they. I know your daughter should appreciate the sacrifices you are making. It's a tough time right now.
We are all behind you with our support, good wishes , prayers and this crappy advice that I'm handing out. As a father of three daughters, I can only tell you that there will come a time when they will look back and appreciate all you are doing now.
Bless you, your children and your new grandchild.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 05:09 PM
cruisingkandJ
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, I'm so sorry about all of this. Dont just sit there and take it! Please take the advice of those who posted earlier about family counseling and help in the home. Those two things could really ease tensions a lot. Take good care of yourself.

J.
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 05:52 PM
rollerdonna's Avatar
Moderator
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Caribou River, Nova Scotia
Posts: 16,215
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue, I'm sorry you are suffering so. I have 2 pieces of advice: 1) have your daughter see a doctor about post-partum depression and 2) check out your local chapter of "Tough Love". You should not allow yourself to continue to be treated the way she treats you (and your family). Or, call in Dr. Phil, because yours sounds like a family in crisis.

donna

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 05:56 PM
bigjohn461's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Hot Springs, Ark.(just below farrimco
Posts: 4,118
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

I think everything has already been said Sue..I will just say a prayer for you and your family..God Bless

Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 07:05 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,260
Send a message via MSN to belgique
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Agree with John and everyone above - not much for me to add except my prayers and encouragement. "This too shall pass".
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old July 15th, 2004, 09:50 PM
dezertcruzer's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Mesa, Arizona
Posts: 2,777
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

Sue,
Sending prayers your way. ((((Sue)))))

__________________
Jennifer
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old July 16th, 2004, 06:08 AM
sue's Avatar
sue sue is offline
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 5,111
Default Re: Re: Help: Need encouragement

Thank you for all the kind words. The condition might be more severe aftert she had the baby but she was ALWAYS that way. I agree with RD that she needs counseling and whne the next anger management class starts we are hoping she will attend. Last night my dh took us out for an ice cream and we had a few good laughs. Oldest one refused to go......Thank you for all the tips and kind words......<<<<HUG>>>>>>

__________________
June 1st 2015--- Denali Explorer Cruise on Star Princess!
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old July 16th, 2004, 10:29 AM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 301
Default Re: Help: Need encouragement

I agree with Rollerdonna. She should not be allowed to treat you like this. Please do something, whether it be 'tough love' or whatever. I have been to counseling and never felt it really helped me with my problems at the time. Not only is it unfair to you, but you have to think about your younger children that YOU are responsible for. It's not fair to them to live in that type of environment. Your oldest daughter is grown and you owe her NOTHING. You do, however, owe your younger children a pleasant peaceful home environment that is being disrupted by your oldest daughter. Please do something soon! It is not right that you and especially your children are living like this.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Happy Encouragement????? Jan (NH) Chit - Chat for Cruisers 4 July 27th, 2001 01:36 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:04 PM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1