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Old July 13th, 2004, 03:36 AM
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Default Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

==================================================

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord "God, what does a million years mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A minute."

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

The Lord replies, "A penny."

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"

The Lord replies, "In a minute."

==================================================

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

================================================== ==

A man goes to see the Preacher. "Preacher, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Preacher asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Preacher, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"

The Preacher then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Preacher calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

The man said yes and the Preacher replied, "Take the poison.
.
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Old July 13th, 2004, 06:52 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

!!!

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Old July 13th, 2004, 07:15 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Thanks for the lighthearted start to the day!

VTJen
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Old July 13th, 2004, 08:57 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

those are just too funny!

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Old July 13th, 2004, 09:15 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Super start for my day !! Thanks...;-)
SSaFWs..ED
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Old July 13th, 2004, 09:46 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

You know a story always reminds me of another story....

I was at a funeral, and as I was leaving the cemetary, I saw a man standing by another grave, sobbing and yelling... Why Did You Have to Die? Why Did You Have to Die?

I walked over and asked.. Are you OK? This must have been a close friend of yours.

His reply... It's my wife's first husband!



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Old July 13th, 2004, 10:08 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

ROFLMBO at Steve and Kuki..THAT's it..no more funnies for you two today..I cant stand it..I am laughing so hard if someone came in..I would be in the nut house..wait a minute..I am in the nut house....O

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Old July 13th, 2004, 10:11 AM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Cute jokes! Thanks, I needed a smile!

Cheers,
Michelle P.

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Old July 13th, 2004, 12:34 PM
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Default Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Great jokes! 'course now you're going to make me late for my shopping trip coz I gotta share them w/friends & family!!!

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Old July 13th, 2004, 08:51 PM
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Default Re: Re: Some jokes for Tuesday morning

Y2C:
I am mainly a lurker but sometimes I surface. Your jokes always crack me up. Keep posting them and thanks !
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