Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
A man goes to see the Preacher. "Preacher, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Preacher asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Preacher, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what should I do?"
The Preacher then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Preacher calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man said yes and the Preacher replied, "Take the poison.
”Where is my Diamond” - Princess CruiseMates fun with Y2C and wife
Constellation Sept 7, 2004
CruiseMates cruise Diamond Princess April 9, 2005