A man appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers. "Once, on a trip to the
Black Hills, out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers
who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but
they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed
biker. I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring
and threw it on the ground, and told him, 'Leave her alone now or you'll answer