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Old April 19th, 2004, 10:18 AM
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Default Funny Cruise Stories

Okay... everyone post your funniest/most embarrasing/most memorable cruise stories!

I have a couple of funny stories.

My husband once fell asleep without seeing the pillowtop chocolate sitting there. He said he dreamt he was eating a giant candy bar that night. In the morning it had smeared all over the bed. That was embarrasing to tell the room steward because it sure didn't look like chocolate.

Funniest thing I ever saw was during a Newlywed/Not-So-Newlywed game. Didn't happen to us as we've never participated in this game, but it was the young honeymoon couple. When asked "Parrots repeat what they hear most often - what would a parrot that was living in your bedroom say?" the girl thought a moment, blushed, and said, "Get the KY."

Weirdest thing I ever saw: on our first 7-day cruise on Millennium we saw a newlywed couple wearing bride and groom hats. They were straw hats, the groom's had a black band around it and the bride's had a white band with a veil hanging down the back. Well, we kept seeing this couple throughout the duration of the cruise and they ALWAYS had those hats on.

During that cruise we got on a crowded elevator; it went up a floor and that couple came on, hats and all. As we were going up, the elevator was quiet. Then the groom said to the bride, "You know what song I am thinking of? [singing] I like my hat, la de da de da." The elevator stopped and they got off. Everybody still on the elevator just kind of looked at each other like, "OK, that was weird."

Cheers,
Michelle P.

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Old April 19th, 2004, 10:24 AM
AR
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

First day of a cruise, waiting for the elevator. . .

Two elderly ladies not far away, one carefully explaining to the other:

"So when you want to go up, you push the up button, when you want to go down, you push the down button. When the up arrow comes on above the doors, it means it is going up. When the down arrow comes on, it means it is going down."

A middle-aged woman standing near us walks over and says:

"Gee, you must have been valedictorian!"

Not necessarily kind, but it absolutely cracked us up.
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Old April 19th, 2004, 10:31 AM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

Two years ago, on the Grand Princess My wife and I were browsing one of the shops on board. She pointed out a Golf shirt and, as I looked at it, she continued on. After a close examination, I noticed it had a rip in the tail, so I set it down and caught back up, as she was looking through a rack of clothing. I stood behind her and I said, “With a big hole in the butt, I wouldn’t be interested”. As she turned around, the STRANGER I had approached with the same color blouse as my wife, said, “That is what my second husband said before the divorce”. She laughed while pointing at my wife across the shop and said, “She’s over by the perfume, honey”. As I stammered, to regain any dignity at all, she just chuckled and said “don’t worry about it, I needed a good laugh”. She then turned and left the shop.

And then last year when on the Victory; We witnessed a rather elderly gentleman, whom seemed to be a bit inebriated, standing in front of the Maitre d’s computer with a 10 dollar bill in his hand. Yelling at the Assistant. Maitre’d. “Where the hell do you put the money in this slot machine”?

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Old April 19th, 2004, 11:01 AM
joyful
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

Not as funny as Jason's Victory story (I needed a good belly-laugh, and that gave me one!), but when we went on the Grand Princess, during her first year, and while she was still the biggest ship out there, I was sitting next to an older lady passenger who turned to me and said (something to the effect of) "I don't like this ship, you have to walk so far to get to everything!". Well, duh!
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Old April 19th, 2004, 11:24 AM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

Besides the flash from the boob deck I described in another thread, there was an incident on the last night of the Inspiration cruise.

I was waiting in the long line to enter the Mardi Gras dining room, just outside of the liquor shop. Chris had gone down into the atrium to talk to my sisters about something, as they waited in line to see the purser.

Suddenly there was the high pitched, delighted squeal of co-eds just after the ding of an elevator bell. I could hear a sea giggles approaching from behind me, then Chris's voice saying, "that's him!" Three or four of the girls patted me on the shoulder with silly grins on their faces as they paraded past and into the liquor store. Chris was the last in the line of gigglers.

Before I could get the words out of my mouth, ("What was that about?") she explained. The coeds were rather intoxicated when they noisily got on the elevator. Aware of Chris's presence, one of them turned and apologized. "Don't mind us, we're just young and drunk."

"Oh I don't mind," Chris responded--adding, "I prefer sex to drinking," just as the elevator door opened. Yes, Chris was sober.

We ran into the same giggle gaggle after dinner, on the Lido fantail, still drunk, cheering my appearance on the deck. One of the girls just had to come over to Chris, talking as if Chris were her personal Dear Abby or Dr Ruth for the next 30 minutes or so. It was kind of cute, but TMI.


I may dwell on the land, but I live at sea!

Steve



Sensation 2/03 I disembarked, but never really left the ship.
Enchantment 9/03 Just had to go back.
Inspiration 3/04 Just have to go back again, and again, and again...
Sensation 04/05 The vessel made me do it!

Post Edited (04-19-04 11:26)
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Old April 19th, 2004, 12:10 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

Well there's definitely been a few "moments" in my cruise career <G>

Think perhaps one of the funniest was on a group cruise on Rhapsody of the Seas. I told (lied to) everyone that it was the anniversary of the day Mrs. Kuki and I first met, and as odd as it sounded, "OUR song" was the theme song from Gilligan's Island.... and how she would find it so special if the group sang it for her at dinner.

I still don't understand how they believed such a nonsensical story... BUT.. sure enough, before dessert was served we had 30 some odd folks standing around our table in the dining room singing the theme song from Gilligan's Island.

and now all day that song will be bouncing around in your brains.

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Old April 19th, 2004, 12:50 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

This is a little embarrising but I will tell on myself anyway...
The first time I sat on the Throne in the bathroom and hit that big silver button to flush
it..I had no idea what a noise it would make..my DW yelled and ask if I was okay as she
had not heard such a noise either..I yelled back and told her to call the Pursors Desk
and get a BIIIGGGGGG wrecker up to our deck and get me unstuck..she jerked open
the door and I was just sitting there with this stupid look on my face and told her...
I thought that thang really got me there for a minute..she just OO...
Oh well that's mine...guess you would just have to be there...



Post Edited (04-19-04 12:51)
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Old April 19th, 2004, 01:17 PM
maho
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

a couple of years ago on RC enchantment of the seas
during the newlywed/no game the eldest couple
they must have been close to 90
they were there on there 60th or 70th anniversary and all there kids
had brought them on this cruise
well they ask the wife the strangest place they ever made whoopie
well when the husband comes back on stage and they ask him the same question
he didn't understand it so the cruise director repeats it and says
where is the strangest place you've ever made whoopie, well he sat for awhile and the cruise director went on with your children watching(they were in the audience)
where is the strangest place you've ever made whoppie?

well the guy say "WITH THE CHILDREN WATCHING!!!"

well everyone was laughing so hard
I still crack up to this date 3 years later

god bless him
he made a bunch of people most memorable moments with that one
e
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Old April 19th, 2004, 01:36 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

The weirdest thing we have seen on a cruise was this bride, who got married in St Thomas I think, came back on board wearing her gown..no big deal, she looked pretty enough...But the woman didn't take the gown off for like 3 days.....oy vey...lol lol
Trip

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Old April 19th, 2004, 02:25 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

OMG, I hope this person doesn't read this but on the Inspiration it was me and hubby at a table with 3 other married couples and 2 ladies that was friends. Well there was an older couple that live in Louisiana like us (we still visit each other till today) and another couple that was from the Phillipians. Well the phillipian couple was not very thin and the hubby looked like a sumo wrestler. Anyway, he talked the whole time we would eat and everytime we had to get desert he would yell "Death By Chocolate" to which the older gentlemen we are still friends with today would roll his eyes and do something different with his hands each night. One night he would make it look like a gun and pretend he was shooting his self, or he would run his finger along his throat or make his hands look like he was hanging himself to which the phillipian man didn't even notice. But after dinner us and the couple from La would go to get drinks and laugh for hours at the way that man wouldn't shut up. 2 years later we still all get together and talk about it.

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Old April 19th, 2004, 04:38 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

For those that have been on the Legend surely would remember the little red lights in the dining room. Well this has to do with my oldest daughter who is 14 and very blonde. Our first dinner on our first cruise ever, my brother in law told my daughter not to touch the red (lights) buttons. She asked why and he told her the ship would stop. She was like ya right!! So she did it, she pushed the button and sure enough the ship stopped!!! You want to see a look of horror!! Actually the ship had to stop a young boy was injured and since we hadnt even pulled out of the harbour the coast guard came to get the boy and his family. When ever she was near a red button for the remainder of the cruise she would do any and everything to avoid it! When we booked our next cruises the first thing out of her mouth was "does it have red buttons!" ahhh the memories! (we did take a picture of the button near our table)

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Old April 19th, 2004, 07:09 PM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

I just remembered my Johnny Tillotson story...Ona 60's theme cruise we saw Johnny...A heart throb from the 60's, he was a cute man back then...Seeing perform in a leisure suit with appelettes, he looked like a crew man rather than a performer..He had that horrible red brown hair that older man dye their hair with, and he looked like he was embalmed. Oh, and he looked like Howdy Doody to boot.......Standing outside kibitzing with some friends..I asked them, did you see Johnny Tillotson,he looked like he was embalmed, just then, someone grasped my arm and said.."what did you mean by that?
It was HIM>>!!!!! oh my.....I said, red in the face, " well you looked a little stiff on stage."
Luckily, a crazy fan asked him for a photo, and he moved on...the 4 of us ran like the dickens, giggling like school kids....Lordy lordy, If the floor could only have swallowed me whole...!!!!. Trip

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Old April 20th, 2004, 07:28 AM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

ok here's one...no make it two....So it was the first nite of our first cruise....my dad & sister decided to stay up late...boy were they toasted....They went to the disco..we were on the Norway,my sister was dancin away fellin really good when she startedfreakin out....she was squealin OMG OMG we are under water, holy s**t we're under water...my dad said where where ...well she pointed to a port hole in the wall/ceiling..... it was the pool!!!! Later on my dad brought her back to her hubby in their cabin..but she didn't have her key...she knocked onthe door..no answer & at this point began to yell...honey I am in the vent let me in ....she was on the floor yellin through the bottom of the door vent to be let in.....To this day it still cracks us up to imagine her saying I'm in the vent ,I'm in the vent.....The next nite her & my mom went out & same thing...my mom had no key...they yelled we're in the vent right away my dad let them in!!!
Thats all I got!!!!
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Old April 20th, 2004, 07:57 AM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

Trip, I bet that memory "Keeps right on a-hurtin'" <L>


I may dwell on the land, but I live at sea!

Steve



Sensation 2/03 I disembarked, but never really left the ship.
Enchantment 9/03 Just had to go back.
Inspiration 3/04 Just have to go back again, and again, and again...
Sensation 04/05 The vessel made me do it!
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Old April 20th, 2004, 10:45 AM
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Default Re: Funny Cruise Stories

In the vent I will crack up about that and the underwater port hole all day long, thanks so much.
I read on a board that someone had packed their suitcases and left them out that night. Well the next morning, they realized that they had packed their shoes and had to go barefoot all the way home......
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Old April 21st, 2004, 04:22 PM
mike (and jon)
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on the queen mary 2 there were three or more large groups of gays...and it seemed like the wheelchair/scooter capital of the seas on this sailing. during one nice afternoon on deck 8, by the pool, where the gays had "established" a sunning place, a very nice (straight mid '50's) gentleman...not offended at all...mentioned the ship reminded him of the gay 90's. "to be on this cruise you must be eiher 90 or gay." it was a riot...and drew a big laugh.
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