My dad is moving in with us, and we have a entire house full of his stuff to get rid of. I feel like I am going nuts. And of course my dad wants us to take everything, which I do not want! Anyone go thru this? Will I be sane soon?
Haven't been through that particular situation yet, but since we decided to sell our house next year and downsize I've been looking around at all the stuff we've accumulated over the years and wonder how in the world we are going to dispose of it all. I keep thinking of running ads in the paper (too much time spent at the house showing), huge garage sale (too much time and energy marking prices and moving into the drive), ebay (not enough experience doing this and all the stuff can't be shipped).
I feel for ya' ................can't imagine having to do that in a short, and defined time frame.
In the same boat Thomas...from a friends experience she had yard sales and then took alot of stuff to a consignment ship..she moved into a two bedroom house/condo.. For myself I don't know where to start...we are both pack rats..and he hates tossing stuff out.. He promises we'll have a yard sale after our cruise.. Salem5050... recommend you put as mucb as you can in storage and then go through it box by box..I'm sure there are many memories your father has and you do too...there is always a regret for tossing out.. or finding what you thought was junk is a 'collectible"
I feel for ya, too. We've lived in our home over 30 years, and every day, I look at the accumulation. Once in a while something gets cleaned out, but not nearly often enough. Added to that, I married a pack rat.
With your situation, it's going to have to be dealt with very firmly but lovingly. You only have so much space. It's really too bad he can't have a little place to himself.
now you know how Frasier (the tv show) felt when his dad moved in with him..my mom moved from our home of over 43 years (my dad died in 1973) into an independent living situation where she had a very small studio apartment and she had to dispose of 43 years of "stuff"..she asked my 2 brothers and I what we wanted and then just had a huge garage sale and the stuff she couldn't sell, she gave away to her church.
I think when we are younger we don't understand the significance of "stuff" that our parents have acquired over the years and don't realize that virtually everything your dad has accumulated has "history" and a human connection to it, which is why he is reluctant to part with it. You may have to put up with it for awhile and once he becomes comfortable and sees that his possessions don't always fit in your home, he will slowly but surely part with things. He's probably very happy he's moving in with you vs going to a nursing home or independent living situation. Remember, if you have (or will have) kids, you are setting an example for them on how to treat you when you can no longer live on your own. You know as our parent's and their generation live longer, we, as their children have to take care of them in one form or another. You can look at it as God has blessed you (and not a burden) to be in the position of having your Dad come and live with you. Be careful the stress that it can cause (I think my mother knew that which is why she choose to live in an independent situation vs put that responsiblity on her kids) for your family. schedule 2 cruises a year for your sanity..I often marvel at how in China they live in one home with multiple generations in harmony . I wish my Dad were still living and could come live with me (he died when I was 22 and I miss his advise and love)..you'll be ok
My sister & I had to clean out our parents' home after they passed away within 8 months of each other. They had saved everything, so it was an enormous job. They had stuff that had belonged to a grandmother and two great aunts. The basement was packed. Going thru all the stuff was very emotional - lots of memories. What helped was having help from a friend who was in no way attached to any of the stuff - she was very objective about just getting rid of the junk. Most of the stuff ended up at the Goodwill. We hired someone who specialized in antiques to do an estate sale for us. We also had to ready the house for sale - we hired a painter and a landscaper. My husband tore out the old carpet to expose the hardwood floors. It was a lot of work. If people moved every five years, it would be a lot easier; it's just too expensive to move all your junk!
My mom has been in her house for 43 years, the last 21 of those years, alone. There is so much stuff there of hers, my dad's and my sister's and mine that I don't even want to think of it, but in the past week my sister and I were faced with the reality that mom may not be able to live alone much longer if she's facing cancer treatment. Boy have we got our work cut out for us! So I feel for you Salem - good luck!
I sure hope your mom gets better, and all is good.
My mom had breast cancer, it was a bad road thru chemo and all, and the kicker was she was cleared of the cancer, then had a sudden stroke. Ugh I miss her and its been 13 years.
I completely understand your problem - it's overwhelming at times. I once read something to the effect that "everything in the world should be sent back out there", meaning you can enjoy something for a while, even many years, but then it needs to go and please others.
My heart goes out to you.......I feel like I've been dealing with "stuff" for a long time........we moved our dad out of the family home of 43 years a year and a half ago......downsized him into an apt, then eventually brought him from NJ to Florida to an independent living apt. and a year later to assisted living and just recently from one floor to a more secure floor and now to the Alzheimers wing where he's relegated to a dresser and armoire. At the same time my family moved from our house and bought my father in laws house when he downsized to a condo.....he bought the condo furnished so we were merging 3 households into 2. I'm tired of boxes!