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  #1 (permalink)  
Old August 3rd, 2004, 09:34 PM
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Posts: 253
Default Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

> > > > Republic of Texas
> > > >
> > > > Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get
> used
> > > > to the last election results. After seeing the whiners along the
> > > > inauguration route, the folks from Texas have decided that we might
> just
> > > > take matters into our own hands.
> > > >
> > > > Here is our solution:
> > > >
> > > > #1: Let Kerry become President of the United States (all 49
> > states).
> > > >
> > > > #2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of
> > Texas.
> > > >
> > > > So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
> > > >
> > > > NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
> > > >
> > > > We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.
> > > >
> > > > Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't
> mess
> > > > with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.
> > > >
> > > > Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will
> > > > need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.
> > > >
> > > > Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about
> > > > those northern states. Mr. Kerry will figure a way to keep
> them
> > warm.
> > > >
> > > > Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing
> > > > computer chips and communications: Small places like HP, Texas
> > > >Instruments,
> > > > Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor,
> Motorola,
> > > >Intel, AMD,
> > > > Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas
> > > >Semiconductor, Delphi,
> > > > Nortel, Alcatel, Etc,Etc. The list goes on and on.
> > > >
> > > > Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for
> Cancer
> > > > research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world
> > and
> > > > other large health planning centers.
> > > >
> > > > We have enough colleges to keep us going: University of Texas,
> > > > Texas A & M, TexasTech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT,
> > > > Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway.
> > > >
> > > > We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we
> > > > need some more)
> > > >
> > > > We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance,
> etc.
> > > >
> > > > In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard
> > > > and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since
> > > > everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can
> > > > raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets
> > bad,
> > > > we can always call in Department of Public Safety and ask them to send
> > over
> > > > a couple of Texas Rangers.
> > > > We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and
> > > > vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so
> that
> > > > they taste good. Don't need any food.
> > > >
> > > > This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic
> of
> > > > Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and
> > don't
> > > > have.
> > > >
> > > > Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:
> Since
> > > > you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President
> > > > Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The
> > rest
> > > > of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
> > > >
> > > > You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut
> off
> > > > your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your
> homes,
> > > > but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need
> the
> > > > gas.
> > > >
> > > > Signed,
> > > >
> > > > The People in Texas
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > PS: Don't forget we only joined the Union on the condition that
> > we
> > > > could leave any time. Yes, it's in our constitution.
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >(I THINK I AM MOVING TO TEXAS!),,,,,PUDY

> >
> >
>
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old August 3rd, 2004, 11:20 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Texas Y'all
Posts: 1,196
Default Re: Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

all I can say is... I wasnt born in TX... but got here as fast as I could (@ 3 months from England) - Ive moved from the Lone Star 2 times in my life - spent almost a full year in England... then spent 10 months in North Carolina.... I dont plan on leaving here again... ITS JUST A TEXAS "THANG" .... Y'ALL WOULDNT UNDERSTAND !!!

Y'all take care now, ya hear ?
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old August 4th, 2004, 10:13 AM
Paul B's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,832
Default Re: Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

Texas is great! Living anywhere else just ain't livi!ng!
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old August 4th, 2004, 03:50 PM
Happy Camper
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Posts: n/a
Default Re: Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

My hubby who was born here in Texas mentioned maybe moving to Florida (for the beaches). I said forget it - I don't want to live anywhere else - as a person from New York (17 years) I know how good it here in Texas! Debbie
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old August 4th, 2004, 05:24 PM
Lynne &Trevor
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Posts: n/a
Default Re: Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

I love this!! And his brother could be the President of Florida!! Beaches, Disneyworld, etc. Lynne

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  #6 (permalink)  
Old August 5th, 2004, 09:05 AM
Senior Member
Yeoman
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 870
Default Re: Election humor..Anyone from Texas?

Where do I sign up ?? Sounds good to me !!
SSaFWs..ED
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