Bill, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and outright charm while hanging over Bills arm and listening intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"
Bill says, "I lied about my age."
His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"
A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She
her faithful pet dachshund along for company.
One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long
dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices
leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention
having lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now! Then he noticed
some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew
on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more
Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a
tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great
figured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here
on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his
thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog
down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them
yet...and just when they get close enough to hear , the dachshund
says..."Where's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to
me another leopard!
So remember ....... "IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE,
THEM.............( fill in your blank)