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  #1 (permalink)  
Old October 20th, 2004, 03:17 PM
Cruizin K and J
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Default Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

I was unable to post this morning because of problems with my mother in Minnesota. It started with an early call from the conservator who told me Mother was being her usual difficult self. She wanted to just walk out of the hospital and go home, plus she was getting rude.

Well, the bottom line is that nice apartment in assisted living is history. I got a call from a nurse patient relations advocate who said that Mother couldn't possibly make in assisted living. She is too confused to function by herself and needs 24-hr care. The hospital said they had done all they could for her, and she needed to be out of there today.

So she will still go to the same facility in Minneapolis but into its nursing home, which is a locked facility. They have an evaluation program where she will stay for a month or so to see if she gets well enough to go to assisted living.

I don't hold high hopes at this point, because her mental capacity had declined before the stroke on Sunday. I didn't learn until today, and then second hand, that she did, indeed, have a stroke. But I am disappointed that she can't have a nice life while she's still among us.
Judy
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Old October 20th, 2004, 04:19 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Judy, I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. It is not an easy thing to have to do, but remember it is for her safety/health.

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Old October 20th, 2004, 04:38 PM
venice
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

you have my prayers and my empathy because our family is going thru somewhat the same situation with our mother but hers is more on the physical side that requires the switch from independent living to full time care...as baby boomers we never thought about taking care of our parents (and in some instance taking care of our grandchildren when our children move back home due to a number of reasons)..be sure to develop a support system to help with your mom..you can't carry the burden by yourself but understand that God has blessed you to be able to help with your Mom
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Old October 20th, 2004, 05:09 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Judy,
I understand the heart break you are feeling. My brother and I went to see our dad last night and he's pretty much last stage Alzheimers....can't walk, doesn't want to eat and babbles pretty much unintelligibly. He's getting great care but doesn't know it. Hang in there.
Angela Z.
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Old October 20th, 2004, 05:21 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

I am so sorry to hear this Judy..prayers are going out to you and your mom. I hope she can get evaluated soon..

AngelaZ..heart felt prayers are going out to you and your family too. The one good thing you can take heart in..He probably does not know anything that is going on.
God Bless both families/.

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Old October 20th, 2004, 06:51 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Judy - (((((((((hugs)))))))))...as a nurse who works in that particular field, I think you may be surprised at what can be done for her.......if she can't progress to the point where she can go to assisted living, please make sure she is not on a locked unit unless that it is absolutely the only thing that can be done to insure her safety - or the safety of other residents. She is in good hands.....though it is hard to see that at times.

Angela..............Alzheimers is the absolute worst disease.................I have a patient in similar straights and her family (the ones who have the POA) are out of town....her husband is a resident on my wing also and it is so sad to see what he is going through and what she is because the POA's aren't there to actually see how bad she is. Prayers going out to your and your family.......and Judy too.

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Old October 20th, 2004, 07:22 PM
cruisinKandJ.
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Thank you all forf your comments and prayers. I really feel sorry for my mother right now. I cannot imagine leaving a home that I ad for 50 years so suddenly never to see it again. I even feel sorry for her ornery cat who's been home along and is lonesome. The conservator called from Mother's house today, and I could hear loud, plaintive MEOWS. Poor kitty, too. My brother's ex will take her tomorrow to an organization that does not put down animals but will find the cat a home.

Thanks again fo your prayers and comments.

Judy
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Old October 20th, 2004, 09:15 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Judy, it's scary what our parents are facing as they age and become infirm in body and in mind. My mom is still able to live independantly, but I know this will not last long, and I dread having to force her to give up her home of 43 years, and most likely have to go into palliative care. Wishing you the strength to bear your heartache over this latest development, and prayers to you and your entire family.

donna

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Old October 20th, 2004, 09:16 PM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

So sorry to hear of this latest development, but as you can see, many of us have been there and are pulling for you and know how you feel.

We are known as the "sandwich" generation - caring for parents, children and sometimes grandchildren - none of which are easy.

Please know that as hard as it is, as someone said before, it's for your Mom's own benefit - even though she can't see it - and please do not feel any guilt.

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Old October 21st, 2004, 05:13 AM
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

Thanks for your kind words everyone.....when someone asks how my dad is doing I generally answer that "he's safe" since that seems to be the best we can hope for right now.
Angela Z.
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Old October 21st, 2004, 07:01 AM
VTJen
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Default Re: Unpleasant Wed. A.M.

So sorry, will be keeping you all in prayer.

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