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Old November 1st, 2004, 10:05 AM
bigjohn461's Avatar
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Default Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

You probably have already seen these..I was reflecting the other day while watching a plane take off and it brought back a memory of my dad and I. He liked to go to the airport to watch the planes take off and land, and I really did like it too. One day a plane took off and he ask me. How would you like to be up there with that pilot? I looked at my dad and said..I sure would hate to be up there without him..My dad really got a kick out of that. Anyway here are some of the Aviation Rules.

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than being up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when the plane is on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude, No one has ever collided witht the sky.

8. A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great" landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. Youe will not live long enough to make all of them yourself

10. You know you've landed with the weels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somwhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the nujmber of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you have made.

15. There are 3 simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17 Helicopters can't fly, they are just so ugly that the Earth repels them.

18 If all you can see out of the window is ground that is going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be..

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunatley, the experience usually comes from bad judgement...See rule number 16.

21. It is always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There is always something you have missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is THE LAW. And it is not subject to repeal.

24. The 3 most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, the runway behind you, and a tenth of second ago.

Hope you enjoy these..if you have seen them before just laugh again because they are funny..If you have not seen them, then you are laughing hard by now...>VBG<

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Old November 1st, 2004, 10:56 AM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Very funny.

Regards,
Thomas
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Old November 1st, 2004, 11:04 AM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Lol Big John.
Will make sure I show them to my 13 year old who wants to be a pilot!!
From:Brenda- who is amazed with planes, TV, computers,telephones,etc.!!! At least I kind of understand the science of flight!

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Old November 1st, 2004, 11:40 AM
VTJen
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Had never seen them. They are great.

VTJen
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Old November 1st, 2004, 01:07 PM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

got a good giggle out of that one.
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Old November 1st, 2004, 03:49 PM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Hadn't seen that before, thanks John. I thought a couple of them also applied to life in general, such as 16, 20 and 22.
Nancy

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Old November 1st, 2004, 04:35 PM
cruisinKandJ.
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

I had never seen them, either. They're funny.

Judy
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Old November 1st, 2004, 05:10 PM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Hilarious! Thanks for sharing BEFORE I FLY ON FRIDAY.....

Whenever I fly I tell myself all the facts I know about how a plane actually gets up in the air (I have a pilot friend who has just recently re-explained the physics). However, I still end up shaking my head and wondering "how does this big piece of metal GET up in the air, anyway??"

dorothy

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Old November 1st, 2004, 05:34 PM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

I know I've seen them before somewhere - but can't remember details - menopause - it's a good thing (tipping hat to Martha and her new roomies!!!) - ttfn Jennifer

ROFL all over again!!!
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Old November 1st, 2004, 06:39 PM
kwjones
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

As a pilot I have seen them before, but continue to marvel at the truth in them. One correction though. I always thought that helicopters just beat the air into submission.
Great stuff
Ken
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Old November 1st, 2004, 07:44 PM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

I think I don't want to fly ever again.... thanks John!

donna

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Old November 2nd, 2004, 06:11 AM
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Default Re: Aviation Rules or The do's and don'ts of Flying

Let me add this; my Dr has hanging in the waiting room ( he flies)
"Flying is 2d greatest thrill known to man; Landing is the first"

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