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Old December 5th, 2004, 08:35 PM
rollerdonna's Avatar
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Location: Caribou River, Nova Scotia
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Default For All Pet Lovers....

Memo to the Family Dog and Cat
>
>1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switch
> positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
>
>2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All other
>dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw print
>in the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nor do I find
>it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)
>
>3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
>Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help
>because I fall faster than you can run.
>
>4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your inner
>beast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball,
>so it is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out
>to the fullest extent possible.
>
>5. My cd's are not miniature Frisbees.
>
>6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by some
>miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won't help
>to claw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and
>try to pull the door open. (Trust me. I have been using the bathroom for
>years... canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
>
>7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a
>sudden leap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball on
>my crotch, no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.
>
>8. Dog: Don't think for a minute that making a sad face and whimpering
>pathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on the
>carpet. The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it was
>wrong when you did it.
>
>9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal for
>you to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgusting
>hairball in history.
>
>10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. I
>cannot stress this enough.
>

donna (owner of a dog and a cat!)

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Old December 5th, 2004, 08:38 PM
Cruizin K and J
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

Hee, hee! If only they could read it!

Judy
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Old December 5th, 2004, 10:50 PM
SharB
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

Great list, Donna!
It's almost like you could see into my house. DH was taking a nap on our couch when Banjo, our yellow lab/queensland mix decided to see how high he could jump before landing...well, you get the picture. When I wake up in the morning, Banjo (who has a perfectly good bed) has managed to take over more than half of our kind-sized bed and manages to use my feet for a pillow. My cocker spaniel, Buddy, knows when I'm awake (Santa spy?) and jumps on top of me while I'm trying to remove Banjo. When Buddy returns quickly to the floor, Sammy (yellow lab golden mix) jumps up from his bed and pins my legs to the side of the bed. By then, Buddy has gotten very excited and starts barking. That wakes up Tobi (our most recent adoptee - a 10 lb Cairn terror (not misspelled)) who joins in on the barking and scares our 85 lb Sammy so he won't move away from my legs. In the meantime, Banjo has joined the party and starts licking my face (between barks). DH sleeps through this :o)

Shar
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Old December 5th, 2004, 10:56 PM
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

Shar, it sounds like a zoo!!

donna

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Old December 6th, 2004, 11:41 AM
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

LMAO This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Mostly, because it is all true. Never read things like this at work. They just don't understand the out loud laughter.
Thanks

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Old December 6th, 2004, 12:36 PM
SharB
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

Definitely a zoo! Banjo's sister (a Austrian cattle dog) passed away unexpectedly a year ago last November while my DH was up saying his last good-byes to his father (who passed away 2 weeks later). We were sad about DH's father and thought the time was right for getting Banjo a new companion. I went to the pound and found Sammy, who had just been dropped off. Luckily, he was already neutered and so I was able to bring him home immediately. He didn't even have to spend the night in the pound! :o)

OK - so this was great, two dogs who got along like soul mates. Then on July 5th, we were driving through the desert (we live in the Mojave) and saw a buff cocker spaniel walking along in the 115 degree temps. So naturally, we took him home. We advertised and left messages everywhere, but no one contacted us. That's how we got #3. THEN DH's sister passed away unexpectedly in September and left her dog behind - that's Tobi.

So we are just one wild and crazy family!!!

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday!!

Shar
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Old December 6th, 2004, 04:34 PM
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Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

I am making our 3 dogs read this today!!!!! Too funny but so true.
mickig
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Old December 6th, 2004, 06:47 PM
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Posts: 454
Default Re: For All Pet Lovers....

I gave this to our two fur kids (cats) the oldest & female smirked, made some bad comments & walked off; the boy looked & asked " who? me?"

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