Chit - Chat for CruisersOpen Forum for non-cruise posts. Please refrain from inflammatory rhetoric that could be considered offensive. We reserve the right to edit or delete for any reason.
I have just deleted the entire thread called "I just have to ask". You had two choices over this thread, one is to ignore it and think that maybe the original poster was trying to get an arguement going. Two to anser it in a polite manner explaining why you like it but if this is not what they want then maybe cruising is not for the original poster. Unfortunately it seems that most people took option #3 which was to attack the original poster and that is why I am dissappointed, I thought we here were above that. While I do not believe as the original poster did and do not understand why they would come here and say what they did, I will not personally attack them, none of us should. Three things can and do occur when you start personal attacks, you do a deserve to the individual you are attacking as they may not mean something the way it came out, you alienate the individual, or you lessen your own self by coming down to their level. I know this was a fluke as you all are better than that.
Jim
Thank you, Jim. I read part of it yesterday and it upset me so I wisely decided to not respond. I then ignored that thread all together. I figured you would take care of it and you have. I am the perennial optimist and do my utmost to look for the "best" in people. I just wonder if all the usual holiday stress is partly to blame for the "short fuses."
After the op called us ( those who like to cruise) " mindless lemmings" that would have been a good time to delete the thread. Unfortunately most of us are human, so when attacked,( which is what the op did) then most of us have a hard time not responding in kind.
Don't be diappointed Jim, just chalk it up to human nature and remember we all have days when reasoned responding is not easy.
( from one who has certainly had those days)
I *edited* the demeaning and disrespectful comments from the original post, and a second post by the OP,but only after other posters had responded.
So it may have seemed people were reacting harshly, but to comments which were no longer there.
In retrospect, the original post should have simply been deleted. That's a bit of the problem when trying to use "the delete button" as infrequently as possible.
Sometimes giving the "benefit of doubt" to the poster is undeserved.
I do want to commend most of those that did post on doing an excellent job of articulating the positive side of cruising.
There are many stereotypes of cruising that do need to be dispelled. Five years ago I was one of those people who held some of those stereotypical beliefs. It took a cruise to rid me of them and show me that cruising can be almost anything you want it to be.
I do agree that the original post should have been deleted and I was the first one who saw it and did not do it. It was just too inflammatory. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Take care,
Mike(Available for whipping between noon and five tomorrow)
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I was only the 2nd or 3rd responder, and though I could tell this guy was looking for a fight, I decided to keep it light and positive. Apparently others did not. I guess some of us cruisers are very defensive about our number one obsession!
I don't think you should be disappointed, Jim. That just says that we don't have the right to defend ourselves. After all, that was a nasty post. I kinda flew off the handle; if the powers that be thought I went overboard, then I apologize.
Calmer minds may have prevailed, but the poster thought they were "lame." I don't think anybody could have satisfied that person. Be that as it may, I still think that the original post should have been removed right away.
The leniency on the delete button is what makes this BB the best. Another similar-themed BB is moderated to death, and as a result the whole community takes on the appearance of "Bob, the Enzyte Guy", and it is annoying as hell. I like it here, warts and all. Thanks guys!
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I found the person to be offensive. He had the gall to call us "mindless lemmings" because we love cruising. Attacking us because he did not like cruising was unfair and uncalled for. What a shame that this person would feel so strongly about something he has never done. Perhaps he will go and discover a whole new and very pleasant way to travel.
Cruznut2
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Not knowing what remark or remarks you found to be offensive only negates your intentions. When I first read the post I was certain it would be eliminated, so I did not respond. Even after the edit I still thought it would be pulled because of it’s obvious purpose of attacks and stirring the pot. Only after seeing CM mediators and CM affiliates reply, did most of us respond.
My personal response was written in a satire form. Within all my posts my signature states I will try and make you laugh. Other responses to the string had different styles of writing, which I personally viewed as humorous, cynical, defensive, informative, and deferential. That said, in the past Jim has eliminated posts (some of mine), and made the statement that humor does not go over well on the Internet because people cannot see your body language. This could be said of all writing, be it humor or any other form.
As an individual I will perceive something as hilarious and the next person, such as you, will take offence, yet, others may find it stupid or be affected in many different manners. I do give my fellow posters the credibility that they have the ability to interpret and identify the many styles and personalities on this board.
Without you stating, what you found offensive or what you felt was a personal attack, results in what is seemingly an unsubstantiated reprimand towards us. I also find it disingenuous, that CM self-admittedly, set-up the people on this board TO FAIL allowing the original post. When given the choice of defending ones love, what did you expect to happen? I find this action condescending and deplorable.
Jim, you are the big Kahuna round here and what you say and do is law. To scold us like kids without you specifying what you personally found offensive only leaves most wondering. All I’m asking is that you substantiate your findings. How do you expect us to contribute to the betterment of this board without knowing, what you consider, crossing over the line of the “Rules of conduct”? Or are we left to believe, the line is redrawn with each given circumstance?
PS
Before CM pulls the plug on my membership of this site, because of this response, I would like to say goodbye to all my friends and express how much I love and will miss this site. <Just kidding> the PS part was satire, I hope <G>
Post Edited (12-09-04 10:18)
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Sea Ya,
Jason If a grin is transmittable, and laughing is contagious, here’s hoping for an epidemic!
Okay, please allow me to clarify. Yes the post should have been deleted as it was meant to stir the pot but only for that reason. There were no 'personal attacks' there, just a general remark that they did not understand cruisers and our mindset. Some folks did respond with the, 'sorry you don't understand' and 'it's not for everyone' types and let it go. From there it started getting peoples hackles up and started getting mean with attacks directed personally at the original poster which is not allowed even if they are deserving of scorn. This is when I first saw the post and my judgement was to delete it. I was also dismayed that we were so easily manipulated by an objectional person as I know this community is better than that. If anything the CM folks that are regulars here are usually understanding and not easily stirred or fall into the trap of attacking an individual because they say or do something foolish. What should be done and we ask you all the time is to please when you see a post that you find objectional to hit the report this post button so myself or one of the staff can look at it. If we lean towards leaving a post, it is because we are very lenient and do not wish to censor anymore than absolutly necessary. Sometimes the best response to someone that is looking for a fight, is to just ignore them. Hope this smooths feathers and help everyone understand what I was and am saying.
Jim
IMO, the original post was meant to start an argument and to respond to it was fueling the fire. To go onto a message board dedicated to cruising and say (I'm paraphrasing here) he is "dreading going on a cruise because he doesn't want to be herded around like cows" is akin to going on an RV site and saying he can't imagine people want to spend their time in cramped quarters. He's only trying to get a reaction.
Darn it - I missed all the excitement (and the post apparently).
Guess I was too busy following the other cruising lemmings onboard.....
dorothy
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