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Old April 5th, 2005, 09:17 PM
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Default Real 9-1-1 calls!

Hoping some of you, especially BigJohn, get a kick out of some of these:

REAL 9-1-1 CALLS

>
>
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
>Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
>Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
>Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?
>
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
>Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
>Dispatcher: Excuse me?
>Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
>Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
>Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it
>
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?
>Caller: Fire, I guess.
>Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?
>Caller: I was wondering.....does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks?
>Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?
>Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and... well.. do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me?
>Dispatcher: Help you what?
>Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!
>
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
>Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
>Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
>Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
>Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
>Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
>
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
>Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
>Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
>Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!
>
>
>
>And the winner is..........
>
>Dispatcher: 9-1-1
>Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
>Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
>Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
>Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
>Caller: No
>Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
>Caller: Running from the Police.
>

donna
>

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  #2 (permalink)  
Old April 5th, 2005, 10:28 PM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Donna---where do you get these? As usual, it's awesome. Thanks.

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Old April 6th, 2005, 12:27 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Thanks again RD. Keep them coming.

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Old April 6th, 2005, 06:34 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Its almost scary how some of our brains work.

VTJen
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Old April 6th, 2005, 07:06 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Cheryl, I get them usually, from a friend, our receptionist at work. She's Jewish, so she also sends some humdinger Jewish jokes, but I wouldn't want to offend anybody!

donna

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Old April 6th, 2005, 10:10 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Thanks Donna..Those are really good but I think I have one that we took the other day that will top all of those..not saying yours are not funny but this one was hilarious.

911 whats your emg?
caller..send the fire dept.
911..whats on fire
caller...My nipples are burning up.
911..Did you say that your.*interupted* YES!! my nipples are on fire.
911..Fire Dept is on the way..how did this happen.
caller...I was boiling them and the water boiled out and they caught on fire. I dont know how my baby is going to get fed now. All these bottles and now I dont have any nipples for them..
911..Okay maam..the fire dept will be there momentarily.

call ended..



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Old April 6th, 2005, 12:22 PM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

John, you scared the heck out of me on that one!
Jim

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Old April 9th, 2005, 06:05 PM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

Those jokes are just to darn funny i want some more.
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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:23 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:25 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

test

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:27 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

test

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:29 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

test

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:31 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

tst

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:33 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

test

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Old May 7th, 2005, 06:35 AM
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Default Re: Real 9-1-1 calls!

give up

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