If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about
> it in for a newer model.
> I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is
> getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
> My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish.
> They were once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old
> My seat cushions have split open at the seams.
> My seats are sagging.
> Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my
> Air bags? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes.
> Not counting the saddlebags, of course.
> I have soooooo many miles on my odometer.
> Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the last
> an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?
> My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things
> My traction is not as graceful as it once was.
> I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
> My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.
> It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
> My fuel consumption is terrible.
> But here's the worst of it - almost every time I sneeze, cough or
> my radiator leaks!