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Old April 26th, 2005, 01:33 PM
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Default Cruising or Kids, that is the question

Hi All,

My husband and I have been thinking, we cannot afford to have kids, and continue cruising. My questions is, what would you rather do, have kids, or keep on sailin'!! Personally, I think if we get another cat, and continue cruising, that is fine with me....lol. I was the one that got Peter addicted, and now look what I have done...lol I just figured a little poll would make me feel better about wanting to cruise instead of having little ones. I love kids, but it is so nice to be able to give the kids back to the parents..lol

Just thought I would see how many are with me...lol

Thanks for the replies in advance!!!!

Erin

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Old April 26th, 2005, 01:52 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

We don't have kids but I would think no one should have them unless you really want them and only then when the time is right.

Actually we can't have kids. Everytime I take my clothes off and climb in the bed she looks at me and she just can't...................

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Old April 26th, 2005, 02:14 PM
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Default Re: Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I know you are joking about choosing between kids and cruising but.......get real. If it enters your mind that you would be sacrificing your fun for a child then maybe you should stick with cruises. Having had a child who is 19 years old now I know it is an awesome responsibility and honor. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for the past 19 years with my husband and our son. Not that it has been smooth sailing all the time but the good times out weight the bad ones many times over.

The point of this posting is to make you see that maybe you need to wait awhile and see if a child is what you really want. We went on our first and only cruise last year when our son was 18. It was the first vacation alone in 18 years and it was a great sense of freedom for all three of us. We were so glad to see him and he was glad to see us (maybe he was pretending!) after 7 days away from each other. Hopefully in the years to come he and his wife/girlfriend will want to go with us on another cruise
Good luck with your decision.
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Old April 26th, 2005, 03:16 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I for one would not trade one minute of my children's lives for any cruise, however that is me. If you can even ask yourself the question, perhaps it is better that you continue cruising and not have any children. Children are a huge responsibilty, drive you nuts, cost big $$$$ and all of them go thru that horrible teen period. But....they are also a joy, a comfort, companionship, friends and for me, a piece of my life that has helped to shape and describe me.

Just my humble opinion but more people should think carefully before having children and if it isn't what you want, don't do it.

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Old April 26th, 2005, 03:28 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I don't want people to think that this would be the only reason we would not have kids. It was just part of it. Peter and I have many different reasons, this being one of them. We have already heard all the comments from those who have kids, and the "Oh how nice it must be to travel and get sleep" blah blah blah, I get it from my own brother and sister...lol We hate it!! I don't think anyone is ever really ready. We just know how much harder it will be if we choose to have them. I love to travel, but it would be almost impossable to do the type of travel we like to with kids. Like I said, I love kids to death, I was a pre-school teacher, but it is so nice to be able to give them back....lol


Erin

PS, what I say to those who say all the "Must be nice..." is "Yes it is"

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Old April 26th, 2005, 03:29 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I totally agree that no one should have children unless they are absolutely SURE they want them. Too many people have kids these days because of societal pressure and then the children are neglected...... sometimes physically, but more often mentally and emotionally. Or the grandparents wind up being the primary caregivers because the parents were unprepared for the demands of having children. Neither of my children has children...... my daughter has three stepchildren and is a wonderful mother to them and my son didn't marry until he was 31. By the time he and his wife decided to have kids they had fertility problems and started discussing adoption. After much discussion they decided that by the time they went through the whole adoption process that they would be so set in their ways that adding a child might be too big of an adjustment. We have seen that happen before both with friends and in the family.

Anyway, none of us has any regrets...... children should be desperately desired...... there is no other excuse for having them. And I don't particularly miss having grandkids. The three I got ready-made are plenty.
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Old April 26th, 2005, 03:56 PM
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Default Re: Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I didn't mean to iInsinuate that it is wrong to CHOOSE not to have kids. It is wonderful that now we can make those choices about having children or not having children with the available birth control methods . Some of our parents and grandparents weren't that lucky.

You say people try to make you feel guilty about not having children? I've had people do the same thing because I choose to have an only child. People try to make others feel guilty for good health, a good job, inheritance, a good marriage etc... but to me those people like that are lacking something in their life that makes them feel inadequate.

If you can go thru life and be happy most of the time, you are a lucky person!
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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:14 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

Here is what I suggest and it is probably too late for most of you . Start out having the kids as teenagers. This way they are grown and out of the house when you are still relatively young. Then start crusing after you have gotten past all the college, weddings etc.
Oh wait, that was me and I promised myself a long time ago not to be recommending to people to have kids while still a teenager. Do as I say, not as I did.
Go on a cruise or two when single or first married. Then have kids. Then leave them with grandparents and go cruising. Then take them with you when they are a few years older. Yeah , that's a much better plan. Not what I did, but , for most, a much better plan.
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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I have a couple of kids I would gladly trade in for a cruise <vbg>.

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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:23 PM
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Default Re: Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

Oh it says cruising OR kids. Never mind!!!!!!

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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:33 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I really just did this as a fun thing to think about. I know that kids are a HUGE responsibity, this is the reason I don't have any at the moment!!! I guess I am one of those weird people who think about these things. I am not sure if I want kids, and I would never bring a child into this world without knowing for sure. There are too many horror stories about unwanted kids. I would never do this. This was all just a fun thing to think about, and I really hope that you all don't think I would really base my having kids, on if weather I could cruise or not. I would never do that. If for some reason I became pregnant tonight (why not practice..hehehe) I would be happy as could be. I just wanted to see what others thought about.

Erin
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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:47 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

have kids and take them cruising and one of them will grow up to work on a cruise line then you can go cruising for free in your old age when you have the time

you can do both and most of us have and take the kids with you when you do cruise
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Old April 26th, 2005, 04:49 PM
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Default Re: Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

" I know kids are a HUGE responsibility".
Was I supposed to be responsible about my child raising? Now you tell me!!
Boy it's a good thing I found three guys to take them off my hands before that became a problem.
Doug, I can't trade for a cruise, but I can trade a good used lawnmower and a chain saw with a case (and even an extra chain). I need a couple of kids to shovel my snow in the winter. Are their vacinations up to date? Would you throw in a cordless drill?
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Old April 26th, 2005, 06:08 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

Author: PapBill (64.69.125.228)
Date: 04-26-05 15:14

Here is what I suggest and it is probably too late for most of you . Start out having the kids as teenagers


Bill.. I tried that.. but the darn things came out as little babies. I really wanted newborn teenagers... or better yet.... newborn neurosurgeons with lucrative practices<G>

Didn't work out that way, so I sold them on the blackmarket, and have been cruising with the money.

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Old April 26th, 2005, 07:18 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I liked getting my kids at about the elementary level. You still could correct most of the bad habits. They also have a chance to pick up your bad habits and personality traits. <VBG>

Go for the kids, you will regret it many times but in the end you won't. You end up with grandkids. They are your reward for not killing your children when they are in their teenage years. <VBG>

Kuki, why didn't you get the neurosurgeons who specialize in temporal lobe surgery. I could use em. I'll trade you lifetime vet care for Sammy. <VBG>

Take care,
Mike (Who wouldn't trade not having his kids for all the cruises in the world.)

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Old April 26th, 2005, 08:50 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I have friends who have kids and can't afford to travel. They are spending $700 a month for daycare/pre-school. And they wonder how I can afford to travel????
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Old April 26th, 2005, 08:56 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

If you want kids, have kids. Things always work out.
Anyway, DisneyWorld is fun, too.

Em
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Old April 27th, 2005, 08:15 AM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

Hmmm......Let me think. Wait-it's too late for me, I already have kids! I didn't know ANYTHING about cruising when the babies came, but I did know I loved to travel. But when my bio clock kicked in, and the time was right, I didn't think twice about having children-something I knew I always wanted. Two adult children and 1 new grandchild later, I couldn't be happier. But that's me. The way I look at it, if you try hard enough, you can have your cake and eat it too. Cruise now before the children, or cruise later after the children are grown!

And hey, never let anyone make you feel badly about your life choices. It's YOUR life. My best friend has three children and 5 grandcats and 7 granddogs. I promised I would share my grandbaby with her, so everything is working out just fine.

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Old April 27th, 2005, 10:36 AM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

I waited a long time to have kids. My first was born when I was 36 and my second was born when I was 39. Having children is a huge responsibility and if there is any doubt in your mind, then I would strongly advise you against having children.

There is nothing in the world I would not do for my kids and I cannot imagine my life without them. I had lots of problems carrying my babies to term and as a result of the huge emotional roller coaster, bedrest, and hospitalizations, surgery, multiple daily injections etc, I was at peace with the fact that I no longer owned my life or my body and that I had better be prepared for the fact that I may have to sacrifice everything to bring these two little people into the world.

So if I had to make the choice between having children and giving up cruising, it would be a minor sacrifice to never cruise again, for what I have gotten out of being a parent.

You have to decide what is right for you and your husband. It wasn't until I hit my mid 30's that I even considered having kids. Honestly I always thought I would be childless. But once d/h and I married and settled down it was the right thing for for us and we have no regrets.
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Old April 27th, 2005, 11:07 AM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

We waited to have a child until we had been married 13 years and have never regreted that decision.

We also made the decision to have only one child and feel pretty good about that one, too!

But I will tell you that cruising, traveling and kids are not mutually exclusive. I learned real quick that kids are portable! You can actually TAKE them places. We have taken my son everywhere from the opera to backpacking in the wilderness. He has constantly been exposed to new experiences and takes everything in stride.

All that being said, are kids total money drains? You betcha! My dh swears we would be rich if it weren't for hearing "Dad, Mom, I REALLY need a ........(fill in the blank)." Summer camp, scouts, music lessons, clothes, food (and teens eat ALL day!), books, music, entertainment - you get the picture. All that money could be used for cruising.

But, we sail twice a year - WITH our son - and can't imagine life without him! I admire your ability to make your decision to NOT have kids. I've seen way too many people that really never even thought about it - they just had kids. And maybe shouldn't have....

dorothy

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Old April 28th, 2005, 10:01 AM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

you didn't say how old you are, Erin. You may decide in a few more years to change your mind. Thats ok

Someone said, children are portable! Ain't that the truth! Hubby and I loved to travel, took our 'first five years' for ourselves, then had kids. We have never given up vacation time because of them. We made different choices, thats true. Our family works it this way...one vacation is fun ..ie Disneyland...the next one is a learning experience. And, we make it silly and mysterious so the kids stay involved. For example, when we went to the Grand Canyon, we didn't tell them where we were headed, but told them it was one of the 7 natural wonders of the world. They had to research and find out what the 7 wonders were, and then track the map to guess where we were going. We also take, history mystery tours, where we give them details about an event or place, and they learn little tidbits about a place as we travel to it. When we arrive, they're interested in finding out more and have already logged some of the important details in their mind.

Bottom line...yes you'll make the choice that is right for you, just don't think you'll never travel again because of the rugrats : )
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Old April 28th, 2005, 12:07 PM
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Default Re: Cruising or Kids, that is the question

If you're not ready for kids, please don't have them. Kids take alot of time, love, patience and MONEY. It is sad when people have children and then abuse them because they are in the way or the parents are too much into themselves to care for the kids. Personally, I wouldn't trade my kids in for anything. They are the sunshine that brightens my day even when the skies are gray. (hey, that rhymes) My first and last thought everyday is of my kids. (second thought is of my DH, ) Especially now that they are both at school at the University of Tampa and I am in Massachusetts. When the time is right, if there is one, you will know.

I also do home daycare and agree that giving them back is nice, but so is watching your own child discover the world. It is also special, at least to me, to know that when I am gone I have left a little piece of me to continue on.

My DH and I had our first child when I was 26. I am now 46 and our kids are 18 and 20. We are starting to travel alone and feel if we tried this when we were younger, most of the time would have spent partying instead of truly enjoying each other and the places we visit.

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