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Thomas May 11th, 2005 07:05 PM

What's Wrong With Me ????
I have been looking soooooooooo forward to this day for over a year, the day I can retire. Yet I haven't officially retired because there's so much work I need to do and no one is capable of doing it but me. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but the company has downsized so drastically the last few years we all are wearing so many different hats that cross training is now unheard of. Those of us who remain are so dependent upon each other.

Now I feel like I'm abandoning my coworkers when I leave. I told my boss I was taking some extended time off.

I know I shouldn't care.......... the company created this situation but yet I still wonder... What's wrong with me??


Brenda in Canada May 11th, 2005 07:18 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Thomas, Lately at my work 3 people have recently retired. This was hastened by the company's treatment of the workers. I felt sad that they left me (envious, but very happy for them). You just have a good work ethic and obviously liked your coworkers. Retire- it is your time!!! Enjoy your retirement and we will expect more smiles/jokes from you on posts here at CruiseMates!!

Donna May 11th, 2005 07:52 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Hi Thomas,
You can't help it that you care and hate to leave all that un-done work for the co-workers you will leave behind, its just good human nature. I do hope that you soon can retire and enjoy it, hopefully more cruises for you?

Cruisin K and J May 11th, 2005 07:58 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Retire, Thomas! It's nice that you care, but realistically, the company doesn't care about you. Besides, you should think about protecting your health. My DH had a problem making the decision to retire. This was some years ago. Then he had a small stroke at work so the decision was made for him. Don't let that happen to you.


rollerdonna May 11th, 2005 08:31 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Nothing's wrong with you Thomas, you're just human, and believe like the rest of us, that those at work just can't get along without you! Well, guess what? They can, and they will, so you might as well get out of there and ENJOY your retirement!


AR May 11th, 2005 08:39 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
A week after you're outta there, you'll forget you ever felt this way. Just go.

Dorothy May 11th, 2005 10:22 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
You're an ethical person, that's what's wrong with you.

You have *been* a worker for years and so now care about your fellow co-workers.

Feeling guilty just shows you have a good heart.....but leave anyway! :)


Paul B May 11th, 2005 11:01 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
The second best thing that I ever did was to retire. The first was to marry Peggy. (shh, she mioght be reading this.)

Cruznut2 May 12th, 2005 03:22 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Hi Thomas, Retire, Relax and take a nice cruise. I promise that will fix what ails you. Congratulations on the retirement.


Angela Z. May 12th, 2005 05:30 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
It's hard to let go....but it's not your war anymore Rambo!
Seriously, I have to agree with the other mates....retire! You'll get used to it.
Angela Z.

Lombard May 12th, 2005 05:57 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Thomas. DO IT! Dot it now!.

Jump ship ASAP. (pardon the punn)

You work to live not live to work.

But if you are happy at work then by all means, carry on .

BW May 12th, 2005 06:02 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????

Popes are replaced, Presidents are replaced, Prime Ministers are replaced etc.,

Somehow, they will managed. Don't worry about it. If they ask you to go back on projects, just ask for double the pay. If they agree, they really need you and they will be happy to pay. If not, you will know that you can be replaced.

Have a good retirement,


VTJen May 12th, 2005 06:35 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
I think it is a normal feeling. Retire if you really want too, if you don't, stay a little longer.
If you planned a long, extened cruise- say a 21 day with a week of pre-cruise travel, a week of post-cruise travel, then a couple weeks to catch up at home you would learn two things. How they made out with out you and how you made out without them. If you enjoyed being gone then the decision has been made.


p.s. I'd be happy to go along with you and the Mrs, as your personal attendee. You know, check the room to make sure the steward has champangne on ice, that housekeeping did a proper job, save your pool chairs, make sure you are on time for shows and excursions. Just say the word and I'll be right there.

Lynne and Trevor May 12th, 2005 06:56 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
It's not the work you'll miss, it will be the people you've been working with over the years. The job can go, but you can still correspond with, and socialize with the co-workers if you so desire. I have found though, that despite all the good intentions to stay in touch, gradually that fades, too, and a Christmas card, maybe, is all that is necessary.
A couple of us at our job feel that we "can't " even take a vacation because everything will fall apart. I told my colleague that a mental health professional told me that I'm allowed to take off now and then-that the building will not crumble with out me, and the world WILL go on. Now, I don't feel as badly about taking off-although I have a time trying to fill 3 weeks of vacation that I finally earned.
I agree with the rest. Take a long cruise or vacation trip FAR away from work. Then just rest up awhile when you get back. Amazingly, you'll get used to not having to get up, or meet some deadline, or fix some sink or.........
And, yes, if called, you're suddenly a "consultant" and demand some good money for your time!!!
Good luck!! Lynne

PapaBill May 12th, 2005 07:36 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
What's wrong with you? Nothing. You have a strong work ethic, a strong sense of responsibility, a strong sense of coworker loyalty. Now, if retirement time has come and you are financially able to do so, retire. You are not abandoning your company or your coworkers, believe me, they will all survive.

MichelleP May 12th, 2005 07:57 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Everyone else gave great advice. I say, go for it and don't worry about them. They will be able to manage.

Michelle P.

Thomas May 12th, 2005 08:04 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
I appreciate the comments. A strong work ethic is a trait of mine, in fact I have worked for this company for 24 years and never missed a day for illness. The guilt I felt on those days when I was feeling bad and thinking of calling in sick is the same guilt I'm feeling now.

Thanks for all the encouragement.


PapaBill May 12th, 2005 09:40 AM

Re: Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
One more thought. Someone like yourself who has always worked might find it dificult to sit home and watch Oprah Winfrey and Regis . Since you have another business to attend to and interests outside of work (like travel and cruising) you will not be retiring to a life of watching the grass grow and wondering when the light on the corner is going to change red again.
Look at Ray and Helen for your retirement inspiration. Maybe next year you will be posting photos from an exotic location .
By the way, I want to start a pool here . If you retire, will it be Mrs. Thomas or your restaurant manager who will be the first one to throw a pot at you for meddling.

thegambler May 12th, 2005 09:51 AM

Re: Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Hi Thomas,

I saw your post about your approaching retirement. It is hard to leave your employment.
But I think you will really enjoy your free time. It's a time to enjoy some of your other interests, do volunteer work, or just do nothing if you feel like it. I worked for the same company for sixteen years. I actually started working for them part time while I was attending college. I didn't retire, I left to become a stay-at-home mom. At the time my boss told me, he did not think I would enjoy being at home. I have been home now for 19 years. I have no regrets. I do agree that you will miss your co-workers. I still keep in contact with a few of the people in my office. My husband travels extensively on his job and being home has allowed me the time to be able to go with him on many occasions. It seems you have a passion for cruising. This will allow you the time for more cruises. Two of my three sons have now left home and are in college. I am finding I have even more free time now. During the last year, I have been taking classes at a nearby college. I guess my husband will never get to retire--now he has three of us in college!

Jeanne&Ellis May 12th, 2005 10:20 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Thomas, Just do it. Ellis worked for his company for 25 years, he became disabled and retired, they all joked how the place will close because he left, guess what it almost has. Made him feel good too, because he didn't have to worry about getting up with the alarm clock anymore, book a cruise when we wanted and not when the company could "spare " him. We have still kept the many friends he and we have made over the years. If they are friends they will still be there. Just remember to give them a call once in a while also, don't wait by the phone because as we all know, life goes on with or without us. God Bless and enjoy the rest of your life.


Chyna May 12th, 2005 11:24 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Retire they will work it out. You are a caring ethical person nothing is "wrong" with you unless you look at it from the corporate standpoint then they will sayiu are "wrong" for being that way....and well THEY are the wrong ones!

Enjoy, congrats!

Seahunks May 12th, 2005 11:29 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
When I retired, I actually lost two jobs. The nonpaying part of the job was to wake up the rooster that woke up everyone else. By the time he crowed, I was on the road. Most days of the year, I was already at full productive capacity before the last star faded into the spreading daylight.

It has been 3 years since the last time I worked that schedule, but at this point, the latest I can sleep most mornings is about 5 o'clock, a little later on weekends. And it's I who wake myself, not some alarm clock. So my job is now to make the coffee every night, make occasional trips to the grocery or hardware store, take occasional drives around the yard on the lawn tractor--and to use all those tools I've spent money on over the years.

Yesterday I took apart the pool pump, to find out why it quit working late last year. There was quite an accumulation of "whirlybird" seed pods that worked their way past the screens and sumps, and packed themselves tightly in the vanes of the impeller. I was able to get them out with the aid of a screwdriver and pipe cleaner. The point of that is that there's no true retirement. Only your job and income change. And ironically, as your income gets fixed, it's you that gets broke. So you start to do the things you used to hire someone else to do, and it keeps you sanely busy as you become the guy who removes the stuff that hits the fan. That, in itself, is your new profession. It will pay massive dividends in long term fulfillment. So, congratulations, and enjoy yourself.
I may dwell on the land, but I live at sea!

Steve Summit

Sensation 2/03 I disembarked, but never really left the ship.
Enchantment 9/03 Just had to go back.
Inspiration 3/04 Just have to go back again, and again, and again...
Sensation 04/05 The vessel made me do it!
Summit 03/06 It's Margaret's fault!

patch May 12th, 2005 05:51 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Your story is very familiar to my own,,,,but I decided it was time last July to retire after 35 years with the same company. I thought it would be very difficult to give up what I knew best. But guess what , not as bad as I thought. At 58 , still in good health my wife and I are doing well with it. After a month of retirement I went to work again at Home Depot and it seems nice to go home without work phone calls with problems or decisions to be made. Go on a vacation and not worry about what is happening at work ! and really be able to call days off just that. I really enjoy Home Depot, I smile all day !! Take the step if that is what you would like to do, that is my advice. Vacation as often as you can !! Charlie

college guy May 12th, 2005 08:35 PM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Tom I am happy to hear your retiring to enjoy your golden years. Wish I could say my generation is looking toward that day, but for us, it will never happen. Outsourcing and high taxes are just killing us. When I reach retirement, social security will have disappeared.

MichelleP May 13th, 2005 07:20 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Waaaaa, I wanna retire!

I am probably a little older than "college guy" since I have been out of college for nearly 10 years now... but I don't think retirement will be unreachable for many people my age. We recognize that social security won't be around, and so we see the need to create our own private IRAs and save, save, save.

Michelle P.

Thomas May 13th, 2005 09:47 AM

Re: What's Wrong With Me ????
Michelle and college guy,

Don't despair, social security will be around when you retire. The benefits may have been changed but FDR was smart enough when he created it to establish it as a tax so polititicians won't be bold enough to meddle with it.

However, Social Security will not provide you with anything much more than basic living expenses. And you may not get that until your health is deteriorating.

Corporate America is changing. The companies that provide full benefits, pension packages, insurance coverage, etc. are a dying breed. They are also pulling back those benefits they do offer.

My advice for young people is to find a growth industry they really like. Find employment in that field or start your own business (preferable). If you like it, you'll be good at it. If you're good at it you'll be successful. If it's a growth industry and you're good at it you just about can't screw it up.


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