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-   -   For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/chit-chat-cruisers/273998-those-sons-daughters-going-off-college.html)

rollerdonna August 7th, 2005 07:47 AM

For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
The other day, someone lamented their children growing too fast and going off to college.( like mine). I found this in the newspaper, in "Annie's Mailbox" (formerly Ann Landers).
I do not know the author, but I thought it was apropo:

Hold Fast the Summer

Hold fast the summer. It is the beauty of the day and all it contains
The laughter and work and finally the sleep. The quiet.
Oh September, do not put your weight upon my mind.
For I know he will be going.
This son of mine who is now a man - he must go.
Time will lace my thoughts with joyous years.
The walls will echo his "Hello". His caring will be around each corner.
His tears will be tucked into our memory book.
Life calls him beyond our reach - to different walls.
New faces,shiny halls, shy smiles, many places.
Greater learning - he must go.
But wait, before he leaves, be sure he knows you love him.
Hide the lump in your throat as you hug him.
He will soon be home again - but he will be diferent.
The little boy will have disappeared.
How I wished I could take September and shake it, for it came too soon.
I must look to the beauty of each new day, and silently give thanks.

donna


Cruzdiver August 7th, 2005 09:06 AM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 

We went through this two years ago. Our daughter, our only child, our miracle baby, left for college. She had been our entire life . Everything had always evolved around Tiffany.

We had major adjustments to go through, rediscovering our relationship, finding other interest beyond being concerned parents. We found ourselves watching VHS tapes of her younger years a lot laughing and noticing things in them we never did before.

It is hard and many nights will be spent missing him or her . We just tried to tell ourselves that we raised her to know the difference between right and wrong .She would be fine. And she has been.

We noticed into the middle of year one, When she would call she had a homesickness sound to her voice, although with each call she seemed even more mature . She was working through problems on her own, you then have a feeling of success, that you have raised this precious child into a young adult. That is when you really feel proud of yourselves. You felt proud when he/she walked up for High School graduation, you felt proud when they received that academic scholarship for college, but the greatest rewarded feeling is when you see that they are using wisdom you instilled in them to go about their life on their own.

When they come home for holidays it seems you go through the whole process again, when they leave. Although each time it does get easier.

We both emerged with a real sense of accomplishment, new found interest, and quite a bit more spending money!

MADALINA August 7th, 2005 09:46 AM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
Donna,

Thanks, that was beautiful and I will keep and read it.

Madeline

banker August 7th, 2005 09:51 AM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
Thanks Donna,

Geez, I broke down on the first day of school last year and my 2 were in Grade 1 and 2. Talk about them maturing and becoming more adult as they go off to university. I certainly hope I mature enough to be able to handle it. My wife is a little tougher than I am, I am the softy.

banker

Luanne Russo August 7th, 2005 01:11 PM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
This will be very hard on me. both of mine will probably be gone within the year. That is why hubby and I have been taking weekenders away from them lately. i have to get use to the fact that they are grown, and not always going to be with us. They were my life for so many years. I realize that they will probably produce grandchildren, ut it won't ever be the same again.

Luanne


sailing gal August 7th, 2005 02:09 PM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
That is so nice. I have to send it to my sister. She was just talking about that lump.

beenie weenie August 7th, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to Coll
 
OMG and I don't know if I am going to survive sending him to kindergarten this year! How will I ever find the strength to send him off to college. Ohhhh my baby is growing up so fast!

VTJen August 8th, 2005 06:23 AM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
Thanks Donna,

I survived the weekend without mine - but barely. I know now that I'm gonna have to make some major adjustments to my life before next August rolls around and they will both be in college.

VTJen

LisaK August 8th, 2005 10:41 AM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
thank-you so much Donna, brought tears to my eyes. Our son is going to community college for his first two years so we have a little more time...........

PapaBill August 8th, 2005 04:15 PM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
My baby went off to college almost 20 years ago. We left early on a Saturday morning and came home very late that night. When we woke up in the morning, we found that our two younger daughters had packed any remaining clothes and personal belongings away and all but wiped out any trace of their older sister. Poor Christina, I think she felt like a visitor in her own home after that.
Just the reverse was true for the youngest daughter. When she went away to college and law school her room looked just like somebody was still sleeping in it every day. She graduated from college in 1994, law school in 1997 but her room looked just like she still lived in it until two months ago when we sent her all her stuff in a moving van. Considering she has been married for 2 1/2 years and had he own home for over a year I think we were very patient.
We took our first vacation (not even a weekend) without our kids when the youngest went to college. Dropped her off on a Monday, came home that night and packed and went away Tuesday morning. The kids freaked out for the whole week we were away.

BoosterMom August 9th, 2005 08:02 PM

Re: For Those With Sons (or daughters) Going Off to College
 
My youngest left last year for college. It was strange having an upcoming senior and upcoming sophmore home this summer. They both had jobs, thankfully one as a hostess at night at a restaurant and the other worked during the day. They have both developed into these mature young women with their own opinions about everything and basically disagreed on everything as well! Of course my "senior" knows everything and she is right about everything, Yeah right! Of course, they spent a good deal of their time disagreeing with me! LOL!

I thought I'd die when the first one left, but secretly glad that I had her sister for another two years. Then I thought I'd die again two years later, walking to the back part of the house and seeing empty, very clean bedrooms with no lights on.

Yesterday, we took both of them back to school, to get ready for sorority rush victims next week! Thankfully both of them are at the same college, but not the same sorority. Oldest will be going to grad school three hours away next year, hopefully. I guess my heart will break again then, but for now they are happy, so I am happy, just knowing they are where they need to be. Every step they take alone, is just one more that I feel confident that they can take when I am no longer with them. The most painful part as well as the most beautiful part of having children isn't the labor and delivery, it's watching them fly away into adulthood.

I didn't cry yesterday, although they kept asking me, "Mom are you going to cry?" I don't know if they wanted me to or not, but the tears and the lump in my throat stayed put until I got in the car to come home. After three calls today from each of them, I am satisfied again that they are in the right place. It was time, for them and for me.


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