1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2 You have to write post-it notes with your kids'
names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long
as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Thoughts for the weekend:
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting
clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first
place! When I was young we used to go "skinny
dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life
we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you
realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
My husband says I never listen to him. At least I
think that's what he said.
Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd all