Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Chit - Chat for Cruisers
Register Forgot Password?

Chit - Chat for Cruisers Open Forum for non-cruise posts. Please refrain from inflammatory rhetoric that could be considered offensive. We reserve the right to edit or delete for any reason.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 01:42 AM
Y2C's Avatar
Y2C Y2C is offline
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 2,869
Send a message via AIM to Y2C
Default This is good, I'm still laughing

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways! does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
.
.
.

Round trip Los Angeles to Hawaii, Summit March 26, 2006


Vancouver _ Alaska _ Los Angeles, Sept 16, 2006 on Summit
__________________
Ready to Steer towards another cruise

Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 04:42 AM
Junior Member
Passenger
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 24
Send a message via Yahoo to Matt36
Default

Very funny Got a good laugh to start my day..
__________________


Victory 2002....... Glory 2003....Miracle 2004... Voyager 10/18/05
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 06:11 AM
Sea Trekker's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,937
Send a message via AIM to Sea Trekker
Default

I love it
I'l laugh all the way to my attorneys office today.
I can hardly wait to show him this post.
Thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 07:11 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,638
Default

Very funny, yet scary at the same time.
__________________
VTJen
NCL DreamCarnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 07:49 AM
TexasFyre's Avatar
Senior Member
Yeoman
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 944
Default

Lord...can you imagine how the Judge must feel listening to this? oh...wait...They were lawyers too!
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 09:13 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 3,988
Default

I'm still laughing. I printed it out for my daughter Andrea, the Attorney.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 09:45 AM
bigjohn461's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Hot Springs, Ark.(just below farrimco
Posts: 4,118
Default

Thank You so much for the laugh Oh Great Master of CruiseLaugh.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old October 28th, 2005, 10:34 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Palmer, Massachusetts
Posts: 12,716
Default

good one
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Just planted tomato plants...any good hints to good crop? salem5050 Chit - Chat for Cruisers 8 May 31st, 2005 12:19 PM
New York City Hotels, good hotel, good price? cathy Hotels 4 January 27th, 2004 06:15 PM
Good Morning, Good Mid Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening Bill Y Chit - Chat for Cruisers 2 July 18th, 2003 12:52 PM
Laughing out loud !! Denise77 Carnival Cruise Lines 1 April 21st, 2003 10:52 PM
Good beach, good sand & calm, Calica or nearby tom & Mary Milano Caribbean & Panama Canal 3 March 17th, 2001 11:50 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:23 PM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1