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  #1 (permalink)  
Old December 10th, 2005, 12:59 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 11,518
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Default This One is Clean

#1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know
>>> > the batteries are getting weak?
>>> >
>>> > #2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
>>> > know there is not enough?
>>> >
>>> > #3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
>>> > billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
>>> >
>>> > #4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>>> >
>>> > #5. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
>>> > injection?
>>> >
>>> > #6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>> >
>>> > #7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks
>>> > when you throw a revolver at him?
>>> >
>>> > #8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
>>> >
>>> > #9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp?"
>>> >
>>> > #10. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
>>> >
>>> > #11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the
>>> > bubbles are always white?
>>> >
>>> > #12. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>>> >
>>> > #13. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
>>> > hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
>>> >
>>> > #14. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
>>> > their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
>>> > and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
>>> >
>>> > #15. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first
>>> > try?
>>> >
>>> > #16. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
>>> > fixtures?
>>> >
>>> > #17. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
>>> > with a shopping cart and then apologizes for doing so, why do
>>> > we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why
>>> don't we
>>> > say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
>>> >
>>> > #18. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
>>> > falling off the table, you always manage to knock something
>>> > else over?
>>> >
>>> > #19. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was
>>> > in summer when we complained about the heat?
>>> >
>>> > #20. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>>> >
>>> > #21. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your
>>> wife
>>> > told you to do it?
>>> >
>>> > #22. And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up
>>> > sky diving!
>>> >
>>> > #23. And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity show that one
>>> > out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of
>>> > mental illness. ''Think of your three best friends; if they're
>>> > okay, then it's you!''
>>>
>
>>> >
>>>
>>
>>
>
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old December 10th, 2005, 05:14 PM
BW BW is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Moncton, N. B.,
Posts: 1,096
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Hey Luanne:

Glad to see you were able to pass this one through the smut control board.

Bill
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