LADIES..Does your husband do this, or am I the only one?
Since this is such a great cross section of the country (not to mention other countries) I thought it would be a good place to ask this question.
My husband always tells me to buy myself something for my birthday, Valentines Day, Christmas etc., but I miss the surprises I used to get from him before we were married. Is your husband like this or does he surprise you with things? Maybe it's because I've been married such a long time, but I remember before we were married, he would surprise me with flowers etc. Now, he says...well you have more time to shop than I do and know what you want, just go out and get yourself something.........hmmm... maybe if I booked another cruise every time he told me this, he would stop and go shopping himself.
My DH usually gives me a little bracelet or earrings with hearts on them. This year we just happen to be on a cruise when Valentine's Day hits. He tried to pull the...... Well the cruise is for our Anniversary AND Valentine's Day. HAHAHA
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Whoa!!! I wouldn't dare say that to the lovely Mrs. Jones (Vita). Yes indeed, she would go directly to the phone and book a Med Cruise, or call our jeweler for that 5 caret oval she's always telling me she wants, or order the Lamborghini that she saw on T.V. last night. My mamma didn't raise no fool! (Yea, I know,,,,you want to know who raised me)
Around our house we say that my husband is "shopping impaired". That being the case I usually shop for myself which does avoid disappointment but that whole element of surprise is shot.
Now that our daughter is older some of the suprise is coming back into my life because DH gives her his credit card # and has her shop for me. (he did however draw the line this past Christmas at a diamond and platinum ring....I knew I wouldn't get it but when she text messaged to ask me my fav. stone I had to say diamond and then she asked silver or gold setting....I of course had to say platinum!)
Angela, that sounds like the scenario at my house. My hubby is just not the surprise kind of guy, and since I'm kind of picky about the things I get, I really can't blame him. He treats me like a queen all the time, and I'm content with that.
On a few very rare occaisions Bruce has surprised me. Even when he thinks has has, he hasn't I have guessed. This Christmas, he was up before dawn, to drive may miles to a Target, to wait in line to get me a flat screen tv..I guessed what he bought, but kept it to myself. He can NEVER wait till the holiday to give me the gifts Gotta love the guy!
The ONE time I was really quite surprised was, about 5 years ago, when I was going to a company Christmas party, and he brought out a box, and gave me an [early] gift. It was a fabulous tennis bracelet! He had been in touch with the jeweler we had done business with before from St Thomas, and has them send it over....well, needless to say I was thrilled..
The normal scenario, though is I tell him I saw something, and we go from there
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On behalf of all the male posters on this board...if you give us a strong enough hint, we will manage to come close to what you want
Somewhere along the line when we use to be thoughtful and romantic on valentine's day...if we messed up on the gift..we never heard the end of it, so we learned our lesson well enough not to try to guess again
Plus, it's become damm confusing with all the "hype" about Valentine's day, so I focus on making something or being creative by remembering stuff my GF says casually when it's no where near close to valentine's day
I learned along time ago not to buy expensive jewerly for whomever I was dating for valentine's day, because when you break up you never see the jewerly again..I find that a cruise around valentine's day (or a nice weekend trip at a romantic bed and breakfast) works wonders and make a point of purchasing a very small gift so to remember the occasion . been working for me ever since I started cruising and you'll always have the memories
Its about 50/50 at my house. He does come up with surprises, but he also has me go to the stores and pick out several things I like so he can make a choice and still get something I want.
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The only thing my DH won't buy me is clothes, or anything with a cord on it. Those are his two rules.
Other than that he loves to surprise me and did surprise me with the last cruise we were on. One Valentines he had a card with hearts in it that spelled a message I had to figure out. When I finally did it spelled "Celine Dion", which he had two tickets to in Vegas. Usually Valintines is no big deal so that really was a surprise.
He doesn't always have the time to shop and I can appreciate that. It really doesn't matter because I have no dought of his love.
(Hey, Dina, what part of Detroit are you from?)
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Mrs Kuki is the luckiest woman in the world. I shower her with gifts and affection at every opportunity. And then morning comes and she wakes up.. to reality
Fact is for many years I bought most of Mrs. Kuki's clothes without her even being present. If I were out, and spotted something that struck my eye I'd buy it for her; it'd fit perfectly, and she'd almost always love it; and it would look great on her.
I'm not much of a "occassion" gift giver. I rarely operate by calendar dates which traditionally call for gifts. So on Valentine's Day, birthdays, etc. she is sometimes disappointed to only get a card. However, I do make up for it because I do bring her gifts for no special reason, when the mood strikes me, and I think it makes it more special to her because she knows I'm thinking of her when I don't "have to be".
D/H would be more than glad to try to surprise me if I wrote out step by step directions on how to do it. However, in his defense, I am a very difficult person to surprise or buy gifts for. I basically handle the money and the bills, so if money is spent I know about it. I never walk through a store and say "gee I wish I had that". Generally I walk into a store, see something I like and say "I'm buying that". So the poor guy really doesn't stand a chance.
I am the planner and the "surpriser" in our relationship and for better or worse it seems to work. For next week I've planned a "romantic getaway" for Valentines Day which consists of two days at an indoor waterpark just southwest of Chicago and then two days in the loop going to museums, Shedd Aquarium, and going to Medieval Times for an evening of jousting and merriment. Our little valentines aged 3 and 5 will be joining us, so it should be lots of fun, even if not so romantic.
I have a "keeper" in the husband department! James has always been, and still is, a great giver of special gifts, and even more special cards, for the usual holidays and occasions, and even for no reason. I try to do the same for him, except for the time 2 years ago when I came home on our 10th anniversary (of our relationship, not our marriage), to find the lights out, candles on the table, and dinner ready to be served. I said "What's with the candles, did we have a power failure?" only to realize with horror, as soon as it was out of my mouth, that I had completely forgotten our anniversary!!
Yep, my husband is shopping impaired. HATES it with a passion, but that's o.k. by me. Most of the time I don't know what I want. He said he married me because on the first cruise he took me into every jewelry store in San Juan and I just windowed shopped. He makes up for it tho, in many different ways.
My dh loves to give gifts and is a pretty darn good shopper. He has consistently enough bought me the MOST beautiful purses (purses and shoes - can't have too many in my closet....) that whenever I have a new one, my girlfriends say "Is that from Michael?"
In the past, being a guy with a wonderful sense of humor, he always bought humorous cards. Over the last 5 or so years (we've been married 26 years) he has turned to sentimental cards and almost always gets a tear or two from me.
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As a male I am insulted by the insinuations here that we are shopping impaired and unable to come up with suprises. Such stereotyping!!!
I am not shopping impaired, nor do I have trouble suprising Marj with gifts. Now please excuse me while I head out to Home Depot for her Valentine Day suprise.
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Just thought I'd add a story from Valentines a few years ago - 4 I think. We had a family trip planned to Vegas just about a week after the holiday and I really wanted a black leather jacket (lightweight) as it would be to wear at night when we walked around and I had nothing appropriate.
I told him that was what I wanted, pulled the page out of the catalog,
Circled the style and underlined the item number, size, color and put a big circle around both the phone number and website. Imagine my surprise when he gave me a stuffed bear on Valentines morning. I was not a gracious receiver of the gift. He had seen all the stuff but wasn't sure I really wanted it. Lets just say I had to oder and have it Fed Ex'ed. The extra postage wiped out the sale price that I had found for it.
Since then I have learned to have no expectations. And he has tried harder.
Christmas of 2004 he drove all the way to the Yankee Candle Factory in MA becuase when we stopped there in August on the way back from bringing our daughter to college I had seen a candle holder I loved. This is about a four and a half hour drive one way from our house. He pretended to leave for work, drove his truck to my son's school so he could take his car (more comfy) so I wouldn't know and went to get it. Of course by then it was no longer available so he had to pick something else, but the gesture was very nice and appreciated.
I have a wonderful DH. He gets a kick out of surprising me. For our 20th Anniversary he surprised me with an anniversary ring. It brought tears to my eyes since we had decided not to do anything for our anniversary that year. This past Oct. he surprised me again for our 25th anniversary. He had made reservations for dinner and had bought me a beautiful Past-Present-Future Anniversary ring. We were supposed to go on a cruise for our anniversary, but that was it. He was so happy to surprise me with the ring and take me on the cruise. I'm truely blessed.
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From a man's point of view, my own preference... I enjoy spending on DF. I am blessed to have a good paying job and I know I can't take it with me so, I would do both!! . I am going to buy her a cruise for her birthday and jewelry. Nothing is too good for her .
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