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Old April 6th, 2006, 10:54 AM
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Default Excerpts from dogs and cats diaries.....

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am - Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9:30 am - Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!

9:40 am - Got to go to the park! Rolled in some really nasty stuff, was so proud of myself. Humans were less than impressed.

10:30 am - Got my tummy rubbed and petted - - I'm in love!

12:00 pm - Lunch: Yummy!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard: I love it!

3:00 pm - Stared adoringly at my masters...they're the best!

4:00 pm - Hooray! The kids got home! I was so happy I was bouncing off the walls!

5:00 pm - Milk bones - - awesome!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! What a day, this was too good to be true!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watching TV with my master! Heavenly!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them I once again vomited on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives specials privileges. He is regularly released - and he seems more than willing to return! He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant - - I observe him communicating with the guard regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe - - for now. But I can wait.

It is only a matter of time...
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Old April 6th, 2006, 11:37 AM
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That was really cute. I was always wondering about my cats and now I know.
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