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-   Chit - Chat for Cruisers (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/chit-chat-cruisers/)
-   -   Goodbye for awhile (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/chit-chat-cruisers/312430-goodbye-awhile.html)

nolou525 April 14th, 2006 05:02 PM

Goodbye for awhile
 
I wanted to let you all know that I am taking a break from this site. I type this with tears in my eyes. :cry: Once again something I posted was, in my opinion, taken negatively. I did post a "quick note" about my leaving but it contained a personal attack so it was deleted. I completely understand the reason for the deletion.

To those friends who matter most in my heart (you know who you are), know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers daily. I am just tired of people finding the need to criticize others or making them feel stupid. In time I am certain that I will be back. For now I need take a break. Please understand.

Cruznut2 April 14th, 2006 06:02 PM

Cheryl, I am so sorry that you feel the need to leave us. You will be missed. Please know that Patty and I are sending prayers your way.

Laura and Patty

Kuki April 14th, 2006 06:21 PM

Cheryl....

Sorry to hear you've been so upset that you feel the need for a break and that you've been brought to tears by one person posting, when there are so many of us here who enjoy your posts.

It's really not a great idea to be so "personally invested" that the comments of an anonymous person on a message board upsets you so much.

It's a big internet community, with lots of people posting. There's always some you'll find an affinity towards, and some you may simply never feel you'll get along with.. either on the message boards, or if you were to meet in real life.

I think it's really important to differentiate, and enjoy the ability to communicate with those you feel an affinity towards, and to ignore the comments of those you don't.

On very rare occassions a person may be mean enough to be posting to be hurtful or just to make themselves seem controversial in some manner.... but the vast majority of posts and posters are friendly and just using the site to communicate their opinions, and not to intentionally hurt anyone.

Just concentrate on seperating the "chaffe" and enjoy "socializing and communicating with the ones you enjoy.

mehawk April 14th, 2006 07:11 PM

Cheryl, hang in there. Don't let the comments of someone sway you.
:cry:

ms_Kalamity April 14th, 2006 07:49 PM

I am sorry that your leaveing even for a little while, you seem like a nice person.

Just know that God knows whats in your heart, even if others don't.
That is the most important thing to remember. Perhaps we should also pray for those who take offence at anything on these boards, that they can forgive and be forgiven.

You are in our prayers.

Jane

Delft April 14th, 2006 08:09 PM

I have not posted here for a long while, I did not want to say some thing in haste, but while reading Cheryl's comments, I have to say that I have stopped posting here for the same reasons.

JeanS April 14th, 2006 10:39 PM

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about, Cheryl. Some people here (the minority, thank goodness!) make it their life's mission to make nasty comments to people. All I can say is to pity that poor person that their life is so miserable to try to make others feel the same. Just concentrate on the good people here, and there are MANY of them!

Don't let one idiot ruin it for you....

paddletoe53 April 14th, 2006 11:00 PM

cheryl i will miss you i know how it feels i have had some bad things
said to me thats why i don't post as much as i use to

rollerdonna April 15th, 2006 12:35 AM

Oh no, not again. We seem to be losing an awful lot of nice people due to the obnoxiousness of a few. It's really a shame. Cheryl, I do hope you wil reconsider and come back to us, I for one will miss you too much!

donna

rollerdonna April 15th, 2006 12:36 AM

Oh no, not again. We seem to be losing an awful lot of nice people due to the obnoxiousness of a few. It's really a shame. Cheryl, I do hope you wil reconsider and come back to us, I for one will miss you too much!

donna

Thomas April 15th, 2006 12:59 AM

Cheryl, I'm sorry my response to your post hurt your feelings. In all honesty I didn't even read the name of the poster and for all I knew it could have been Kuki, Donna, Paul, or anybody. I'm not a person who wants to begrudge anybody nor desires to hurt. I love this web site and all the people who post here but I also want it to be reputable, which means I will let others know when something has been posted as fact that it's not. It's not a personal attack against you at all. If my wife posted the same I would also have called it out as being false.

I hope that if I post something that's not true others will correct me too. It helps keep this message board a gathering spot for information which is regarded as reliable.

Sincerely,
Thomas

jennc April 15th, 2006 01:21 AM

Happy now Thomas?

Kuki April 15th, 2006 01:56 AM

Quote:

Happy now Thomas?
Now that I've been able to figure out what Cheryl was referring to, I don't think for a mili-second that Thomas intented to be personally hurtful, so nor I don't think he's "happy now".

The website is a two dimenstional world, and until you meet someone and expand the relationship between you I think it's a big mistake to take their opinions and the way they express them too much to heart.

Because of the way communication works on the web, people posting in public forums also need to have a "thicker skin". It's like the boxing axiom.. ya have to be able to take a punch.

Though I don't think this is the case in this situation at all, there are people on the net who only want to inflame innocent situations for their own kicks, or their own agendas.

Personally, those are the people who I'd trust the least, and those are the actions I get angry with.

VTJen April 15th, 2006 07:42 AM

Don't leave Cheryl,

Us Sox fans need to stick together! I'd really miss you.

And Delft - please come back. I've missed you!

Sailing gal April 15th, 2006 08:12 AM

Hi Cheryl,
I like to read what you have to say. It will be good to see you back when ready.
One thing I notice is that people make false assumptions. Know in your own mind that you are not what is portrayed in anothers mind and also others reading know better.

I think reading the posts broaden horizons. I wish for me it is cruise horizons right now.

Happy Easter
Karen

bigjohn461 April 15th, 2006 08:24 AM

While I enjoy your post, I don't know you that well. I hope that you would reconsider, but on the other hand, if you feel you need a break, then take a break. Just make sure you come back refreshed and ready to talk about cruising or take one for real. Bless you in whatever you decide to do.

rollerdonna April 15th, 2006 08:46 AM

Thomas, I just want to clarify that in no way do I consider you "obnoxious", as in the "obnoxious few" I referred to in my post. In fact Thomas, you always bring a touch of humour to my day with your posts. I didn't even know who or what Cheryl was referring to, but I've had a few run ins with negative posters myself. As Kuki says, you have to develop a thick skin, and I hope Cheryl will accept your apology and come back.

donna

JeanS April 15th, 2006 09:32 AM

See, there are SO many wonderful people on this board, and this case just sounds like a misunderstanding. No need to take a hiatus!

Unfortunately there ARE some obnoxious people on the board, and I've made complaints, but basically was just told to "suck it up". That was very disappointing to see on here that only ONE certain person who make obvious attempts to be insulting and annoying has the support of this board, that truly is a shame, gave me a VERY bad taste in my mouth from this place, but I figure it's only one, but still it was disappointing to see that the board supports their type of behavior. I imagine there must be some sort of personal relationship going on to give me that sort of response.

So enjoy the wonderful people who are on here, Cheryl! The good outweigh the bad! :D

DougR. April 15th, 2006 10:06 AM

Cheryl- Don't make me come up there and force you to post!!!! LOL

Lynne&Trevor April 15th, 2006 11:22 AM

Cheryl, take your short break, but VERY short!! I look in on different questions and do post my comments, but then if the issue starts getting too heated or going in the wrong direction, I step back and see where it's going. If it's going off on a tangent, then I'm outta there. I did learn early that I need not take personal offense from posters.

The majority of us here are very tame and enjoy each others' company online. Please stick with us. Sometimes it's not possible to know each other's true meaning in print. It's hard to decipher the intentions of the poster. When I want something said that I want to emphasize, I cap it, as I don't know any other way to do it.

Many times I don't have time to post or am too late for the morning threads so just read through the "news" of the day. Please stay with us and be a part of our cruise circle. Sometimes I post in the evening to specific topics just to let you all know I'm here. :) Maybe you could do the same.

Take care for now. I enjoy mail so if you want to talk just send me a personal message. In my line of work, I am told many things in confidence, and they stay with me. But-- if you don't want to write, just stay nearby, OK???
Lynne

Phyllbo April 15th, 2006 11:39 AM

Cheryl, I too would be dissapointed to see you go, just as I have been saddened to see others leave.

I have to say that I don't think Thomas meant anything malicious by his response to you. I don't know whether you took what you posted as fact or not, but I appreciate Thomas pointing out that it may not have been. It's not always easy to know the intentions of a particular post.

I have experienced hurt feelings as a result of my post being deleted or comments made here too. I just try to look at the big picture, and know that overall this is a wonderful supportive site. I know some like to stir up controversy, but hopefully they just add color and character to the site. I really wish people would first try to deal with issues behind the scenes one on one, and then bring them to the forefront if they can't be resolved. JMHO.

No matter what, I hope you'll change your mind and stick around.

Phyll

TBug April 19th, 2006 05:30 PM

So Cheryl AND Thomas both leave?

Nice going! :cry:

crabbie1 April 19th, 2006 05:46 PM

Goodby - For Awhile
 
nolou525

I am VERY NEW to the posting boards and have THOUROUGHLY enjoyed reading everyone's posts. Some I thought were a mite too short on "politeness" in response to a post, but there were only a very few.

The first post I read in response to a "newbie" question (which I am-first cruise) was quite harsh and I thought that there was no way in H___ that I was going to ask some of my "dumb" questions about cruising.

I did finally ask the first of my "dumb" questions and got a very positive post back from one of you "old hands" at cruising on this site.

Since I haven't read many of YOUR comment, please come back and answer some of my "dumb" questions.

I think this is a GREAT site and I thank you for your support to us newbies.

crabbie1

cruisinforever April 19th, 2006 09:33 PM

So long for awhile
 
Cheryl, VTJen is right: we sox fans have to stick together. Kuki's post was most poignant: seperate the chaffe from the wheat; that would bode well in everyday life, too. Anyway, hope all is well with you...I enjoy your posts and please come back soon. The world is meaner than it was 20 years ago, but when we hear about something great it really helps the psyche.

Betty


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