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Old June 30th, 2006, 04:15 AM
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Default Signs you are on a bad cruise

Signs You Are On A Bad Cruise

The cruise director is a 6' 5'' bearded on dialysis who hates Americans.

The former head of the Centers for Disease Control is onboard as an advisor.

The guy cutting the roast beef in the buffet line is wearing a chemical-biological protective suit.

The fever and nausea are still better than the ship comedian.

Your ship stops in Mexico for fresh drinking water.

You are given an oar and told to paddle.

Alcohol is prohibited.

There is only one bathroom on board.

The chef's name is Sal Monella.

You are the only person under 85 years of age.

Life boats are only for crewmembers.

Someone yells, "Hey Look! It's Gavin Macleod!"
Ready to Steer towards another cruise

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Old June 30th, 2006, 01:22 PM
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HEY! I think I had Sal as the head chef on my last cruise!!!!!
Marine, Pilot, Singer, Tuba Player, Carnival "Diamond"!
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Old June 30th, 2006, 04:12 PM
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The table wine is Boone's Farm ...
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Old June 30th, 2006, 05:17 PM
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Location: Michigan
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The ships pulling out and you're not on it!


Triumph-9-10-05 First Cruise
Caribbean Princess-9-13-06
Victory- 9-15-07-New England

**A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.**
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Old June 30th, 2006, 06:10 PM
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Location: new orleans, la
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the supper club is named "MacDonald's"

you take your ex wife who you are trying to reconcile with on your cruise and there are 1,000 Sports Illustrated swimsuit models onboard doing a photo shoot

the purser's office calls you at 0300 am the first night out and tells you your credit card on your sign and sale account has rejected your account and it's the only credit card you have

at the first night at dinner, your wife announces that she has fallen in love with your assistant waiter and will be spending the balance of her cruise with him in his cabin

there is a very large (1500) fan group onboard from a major radio station that promotes really bad rap music

all your ports of calls are closed due to weather

the ship is full and there is a foul smelling sewer odor that permeates your floor and the ship's air conditioning is broke

your husband runs into 15 of his old college girlfriends on your very same cruise

you discover there are 4 other passengers onboard with your same name and cabin numbers very close to yours and the ship is charging all of the other sign and sail charges on your card

you thought you were being upgraded to a balcony but then when checking in, you discover you actually have to sail in the inside cabin that you paid for

several of your neighbors (or coworkers) are onboard that you don't like and your cabin mate is not your wife(husband)
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