Guy's Rules

[nolou525]

Got this from a "guy" cousin. Thought I would pass them along since they're pretty funny. Enjoy.


The Guys' RulesÂ*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*Â*
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Sea Trekker]

BOOOOO!!!!
I have rules to.

If your socks, underware, t-shirts are not in the laundry hamper, they don't get washed.
You might think you own the TV remote.( thank the heavens for Tivo)
Vitorica's Secret my A--- who do you think I am a street walker?
Don't ask me to do something for you while I'm in the middle of preparing dinner, changing a diaper, or wiping up a mess. You will get a black eye
If you can't fix a simple house hold problem, call an expert.
They will do it right the first time.
Wear the right clothes for the occasion. We can do it so can you.Don't make me dress you like you are a child.
PMS is our way to release stress. Stay out of the way.
Directions are simple the sun come up in the east set in the west. Get a GPS. Yes Columbus got lost to.
Say 'I love you' often and mean it.
Don't start the nit picking over petty mistakes, you will only make a mountain out of a mole hill.

That is my list for men only.

Luckly my dear Earl is none of the above. He is a prince.

Carole 8)

[nobuns]

I hope you have a real nice life jacket and ear plugs. You may need them

[rollerdonna]

Nolou, those were great. But I can't believe any male took the time to compose that list!

donna

Originally Posted by Sea Trekker

BOOOOO!!!!
I have rules to.

If your socks, underware, t-shirts are not in the laundry hamper, they don't get washed.
You might think you own the TV remote.( thank the heavens for Tivo)
Vitorica's Secret my A--- who do you think I am a street walker?
Don't ask me to do something for you while I'm in the middle of preparing dinner, changing a diaper, or wiping up a mess. You will get a black eye
If you can't fix a simple house hold problem, call an expert.
They will do it right the first time.
Wear the right clothes for the occasion. We can do it so can you.Don't make me dress you like you are a child.
PMS is our way to release stress. Stay out of the way.
Directions are simple the sun come up in the east set in the west. Get a GPS. Yes Columbus got lost to.
Say 'I love you' often and mean it.
Don't start the nit picking over petty mistakes, you will only make a mountain out of a mole hill.

That is my list for men only.

Luckly my dear Earl is none of the above. He is a prince.

Carole 8)

There must be a reason these things bug you, and if it ain't Earl...?

[rescuedad]

Here's another guy rule: Don't cut your hair EVER short hair is for boys!