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Old August 23rd, 2006, 12:52 AM
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Default Do You Have a Solid Marriage?

It's funny. Actually, no it's not. Every couple I know is either split up, on the rocks, or fighting like cats and dogs. This includes both my and Mrs. Cynic's entire families, and all our friends. We are starting to feel like one really weird exception to the contemporary lifestyle.

We have been married now for 14 years, together for 17 total, and we perhaps have a disagreement once a year, and one good fight in 17 years. I enjoy my wife's company, and miss her when she's gone. We do not do the "separate vacations" thing, ever. On the flipside, my BIL married a woman who actually falsified an assault charge in order to facilitate a restraining order, ultimately to keep sole custody of their child (and to pi** him off real good too) ..... And he wants to reconcile "for the child's sake"???? Judas Priest. I'd run for the hills if it were me. "Seek counseling, young man".... I say.

What is wrong with people in this world? Thank God I married a wonderful woman. Even she says "I need a cruise!" every so often. 'Nuff said.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 09:29 AM
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Cynic, it's a sad state of affairs (if you'll pardon the pun!), but many marriages of our generation just don't make it. I can think of 2 couples of my oldest friends who are celebrating 30 years this year, but that's it. All my other friends and extended family have gone through divorces or on their 2nd marriages, myself included. Thankfully, this time I made the right choice, and we're going on 5 years this Sept. And, he introduced me to cruising!

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Old August 23rd, 2006, 09:54 AM
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I hear ya. We've been married for 20 years and have been together for 25 years. While most of our friends are still married. *knocks on wood* things are starting to look iffy for one of them. I always hope people around us try real hard to work things out
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 10:07 AM
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I agree, most of our friends and family have at least 1 divorce. Ellis and I included, but thank God, we met each other at a time neither of us wanted to get married again. It let us be ourselves and we have been happily married for 31 years this October. We have almost a perfect marriage, and with time have worked out lifes bumpy road, but never had a really bad argument. When a problem arose we sat down and worked it out. It is so wonderful having such a rich life with my soul mate. We enjoy most of the same things and truly best friends. Life is too short to waste it on arguing, silent treatments, and getting even. My only wish is for our children to find the happiness we share.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 11:07 AM
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Helen and I have been married for 64 years and gonna celebrate our 65th on the Century with a lot of you CRUISEMATES 12/30--1/04/07. Yes have had a few spats but we love each other more as the years pass by.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 11:26 AM
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37 Years for my DH and I........he's the best........I wouldn't trade him for the world..........even though he doesn't cruise with me.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 12:20 PM
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Pardon me if this is a little long. Marsha and Ihave been married for 19 yrs in Oct. We were both married previously. Yes we have had our differences but nothing like my first wife. Like the time she wanted to go on the truck with me(back when I was driving cross contry). Wellll after a bit of discussion, she climbed in the truck. We were going out across Arizona and making good time. We came upon this small town and they were having a carnival and she wanted to stop. I told her we were making good time and we needed to keep...SOOoo we pulled in. We walked through the gate and the first thing I saw was a very very large Gorillia in this very large cage. I thought I would have a little fun with her, so I told her. "That big Monkey is winking at you". She elbowed me in the ribs and replied, "YOU FOOL, Shutup, someone may hear you". But her women's curiosity got the best of her. She eased over to that Monkey cage and she must have got a little bit toooo close. That Gorilla reached out through those bars and grabbed her in a flash. Folks? This scared me so bad that I just took off running. By the time I realized what had happend, I was at the top of this hill, about 300 yards away. When I turned around to see what she was doing, that Gorilla had her down in the bottom of that cage and he was kissing her all over her mouth. I will never ever forget this sight and I will never forget the look on her face as she looked towards me with those blue eyes. She yelled, "What do I do now"?. I cupped my hands to both sides of my mouth and yelled back. "TELL HIM..you have a headache." The divorce was soon afterwards. That ended a long 10 yrs.

Thank you for your patience in this long story.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 12:28 PM
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My DH and I have been married 32 years and we're still very happy. My DH was divorced when we met (first wife has the same name as me -- he didn't need to change any tattoos ) He married very young and she was even younger. She decided that she liked all his friends better than him. That was when my DH decided it was time for the divorce.

The one bit of advice I pass on to all newlyweds is to "pick your arguments." Most things in life are not worth arguing over. I am very blessed in my marriage.

When my DS got married, the wedding planner was amazed that there was only one set of parents on each side. Very rare these days. As important as a good marriage is, there are times when it is far healthier to call it quits. I try never to judge either was.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 12:29 PM
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married about 15yrs or 17 I am not sure I forget what year we got married! Will stay that way as long as she tolerates me but basically we are on the 5/50 plan we could be married 5days or 50 years more!
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 01:10 PM
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Hey rescue............don't you mean 5 minutes
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 01:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by criscomia
Hey rescue............don't you mean 5 minutes
Yes that was a typo!
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 02:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RayB
Helen and I have been married for 64 years and gonna celebrate our 65th on the Century with a lot of you CRUISEMATES 12/30--1/04/07. Yes have had a few spats but we love each other more as the years pass by.
Oh it's a wonderful story ... !!
I'm 18, and I'm with my girlfriend for 9 year
I would like to live same as your marriage Ray !
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 04:43 PM
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DH and I have been married 26 years, and I must say we are happy. We really don't have many disagreements, I usually get my way : ) We renewed our vows 10 years ago because we originally got married in Las Vegas and he always wanted to get married at his Mom's.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 05:53 PM
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Only one fight since we married and it's been going on for 44 years and 355 days.

No seriously, in another 10 days, we'll have been married 45 years. My wife was a teen age bride and I was a couple years older when we married.

We had our ups and downs. Methink life would be rather dull if everything went very smoothly all the time.

Probably since we're both small town born, raised and lived helped the longevity.

Bill
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 08:10 PM
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DH and I have been married for almost 30 years. We celebrated on the Jewel of the Seas to the Baltic. We do have our arguments when one of us is crouchy. But we can spend every minute together for 3 weeks vacationing and not have one argument or harsh words. We were married very young and have grown up together. We have two children and my wish for them is a marriage like ours. So far DS has been married 7 years and is happily married. Our DD is not married yet.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 08:21 PM
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My future ex wife and I have been married coming up on 26 years.

We have a rule to never go to bed mad... and I'm getting really really tired from lack of sleep

Mrs. Kuki is a saint... and I'm very fortunate I found her, because I can't imagine any woman having put up with me for this many years.

We also must be fortunate when it comes to our friends.... had one business partner/friend who got divorced, but most of other friends have been married almost as long, or longer than we have.

I think the key to longevity in a marriage is a sense of friendship and a sense of humor.
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 10:02 PM
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Dave and I have been together for 27 years and have been married for 24 of them. I agree with the poster who said you have to pick your fights or disagreements....we don't have a lot of those. I have always appreciated the "space" he gives me. We joke about our upcoming empty nest and how I'll be forced to actually talk to him after our son graduates from high school next year...
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Old August 23rd, 2006, 10:45 PM
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The wife and I have been together since the 10'th grade. We both graduated the same night,from the same school And then where married in August 26,of 1978
We've been through alot of tough times together. Through it all, she has stood beside me, and I beside her.
I Thank God everyday for her. They don't make'um like that anymore

Happy Cruising to all;
David
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Old August 24th, 2006, 12:57 AM
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Quote:
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Judas Priest. I'd run for the hills if it were me.
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Old August 24th, 2006, 02:41 AM
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Doug, meet Lorena. Lorena.... Doug.

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Old August 24th, 2006, 04:48 AM
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My wife and I would have been married 35 years this October. We certainly had our spats and disagreements.

I would give anything to have her back for a yelling session just so we could make up.

Steve
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Old August 24th, 2006, 07:17 AM
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Gary and I celebrated our 30th anniversary this past May. We've been together 33 years total. I can't say that we ever fight. We certainly get on each other's nerves...but so what?! Humor is what gets us through and some patience. After reading Y2C's post....we all need to "not sweat the small stuff". Enjoy what we have because we may not have it tomorrow.
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Old August 24th, 2006, 11:40 AM
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Well I would be a newlywed compared to most of you 6 years in November. We have done the seperate vacation before which I really don't mind some of the biggies like the cruises I couldn't do without her. But the time apart is nice sometimes since it may only be 3 days at the most. I just need some me time sometimes. A chance to go see a game with my son. So a solid marriage I will comment more in 15 years.
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Old August 24th, 2006, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
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Judas Priest. I'd run for the hills if it were me.
What the h was I thinking?! I was all about giving you props for the reference. Excpet one detail... Run to the Hills is Iron Maiden, not Judas Priest. Sliparoo.
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Old August 24th, 2006, 12:59 PM
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My DH and I celebrated our 20th anniversary last year on the Conquest. This year, was 21. I'm not sure what the secret is to longevity in marriage in general but in our case, we became "friends" as we were dating. I don't want to sound preachy or on a soapbox but in our expiences with other family members and some of our friends. we've came to one conclusion--and that was keeping pants zipped until marriage. I know that sounds so old fashioned with today's world but I have seen it all too often--the marriages that have failed were due to infidelity prior to marriage. Now i'm not saying that all "virgin" marriages will be safe either. sometimes those fail too. This is just what I have observed in my life. The person who married us gave some advise--and that was to always give 110% to each other--this has helped. We are always supportive of each other at all times--and we've been thru some pretty rough ones--There were often time when I felt I didn't deserve someone so special, kind, and caring etc. but he has stood by me thru everything including my infertility problems and everything else--Yes I have a One in a Million husband. We beleive in each other, beleive in the same things and have the same goals, and most of all believe in the ONE above who gives us EVERYTHING!
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Old August 24th, 2006, 03:17 PM
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We just celebrated 25 years in July........has it been all roses??? No......we've had good & bad.......but it seems that tragedy will really bring things into focus!!!! Forget about the petty things.......remeber all the good........take one day at a time & live to enjoy it!!!!!



Sharon
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Old August 24th, 2006, 11:47 PM
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Default Do you have a solid marriage?

We both believe in the quality of marriage, not quantity. I was married before, 20 years; dh for 17 years. We have been together 22 years, married for 17 years. He is my best friend and we have shared many adventures together, but we are not joined at the hip. He is extremely adventurous and we call him Indiana Jones. I wouldn't ever attempt to change him and, as others have posted, respect and friendship are very important in any relationship.

Betty
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Old August 25th, 2006, 12:17 AM
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"Giving me props"??? Who are you and what have you done with BEACHDOUG?

Seriously.....
Doug> My bad.

(better bone up on my metal bands..... although Maiden wouldn't work in that context)
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Old August 25th, 2006, 10:08 AM
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I am a newly-wed compared to some of you-11 years. Divorce just doesn't become an option for us. I mean unless the person is abusive or whacked out, the little things people divorce over is stuff that can be worked out.

Hey, my life would be worse without my husband. I think some of the young(or old) couples just don't realize they have to get through things. My cousin just mentioned she is getting divorced. There is no reason for it. It is not anything that can't be worked out. Her husband is a great Dad and nice guy. I just don't get it.

Anyone who has a marraige that is working for many years should feel real proud. It takes a lot of commitment and hard work.

Karen
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Old August 26th, 2006, 10:56 AM
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DH and I are coming up to three years of marriage now. I know a lot of you probably remember when we got married! And I can say that we are very fortunate, because we know of NO divorces among our circle of friends and family. Maybe that will change someday, but I hope not!

Cheers,
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