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Old March 13th, 2007, 09:15 AM
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Default Southern Women

SOUTHERN WOMEN

The South of the United States of America



Southern women appreciate their natural assets:

Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"


Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sundresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religion s:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits
with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities
dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn

S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerne rs make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____


And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads: "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."


Southern girls know men may come and go,
but friends are fahevah!

Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.





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Old March 13th, 2007, 09:23 AM
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AND THAT SAYS IT ALL DAHLIN!"
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Old March 13th, 2007, 10:47 AM
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I Ant gonna say no diffrance.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 11:26 AM
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Thanks for posting this, Luanne! So, so, true!

And I'm here to tell you, I have made life long friends while standing/waiting in lines!
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Old March 13th, 2007, 01:40 PM
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Soutern folks are good people!
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Old March 13th, 2007, 02:14 PM
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My biggest thing to over come was sweet milk. To this day I can tell on the news who is from Atlanta, and who is not by the way they say it.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 03:40 PM
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Sweet milk, yep....I know what it means, I don't use the phrase, but I've heard it all my life. I'd like to add another one............ hose pipe.

Southern folks ought to remember gettin a drank from the hose pipe!
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Old March 13th, 2007, 08:16 PM
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And let us not forget the South'n woman's 11th commandment:

Thy shalt honor Ms. Scarlett and keep her name precious!

Let's see, there's a few other things I think are Southern:

Ain't no stinkin' judge gonna tell us we can't pray before the football game on Friday night.

If you talk during the invocation OR the Star Spangled Banner, somebody's gonna' whop you upside the head with his hat.

We know PEEcans are for truckers and PuhCONS make divine pies.

When introduced to someone new it is essential you ask "Now, honey, who was your mama?" (we actually know what this means)

We know what a roux is - and how to make one.

We know the difference between Yankees and Damn Yankees.

We just hate equal rights for women. Life was so much better when we were superior!

We adore people saying, "I just loooove your accent" (of course we know we don't have an accent, but it's so cute that folks think we do)

We always have a "funeral casserole" in the freezer.

The Civil War? There was nothing civil about it!

Okay, I gotta' go fry up a mess of catfish - I'll see what else I can dream up over the okra.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 08:34 PM
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Yes, you don't hear "sweet milk" very often anymore.
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Pick your company wisely! Hang around people who are going to help you become all God created you to be.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 10:48 PM
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I remembered another one. We ate soda crackers.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 11:03 PM
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don't forget the hoop dresses and frilly parasols....

Since my most significant experience with "southern ladies" was working in Myrtle Beach for two summers, I can say for certain that....

those were certainly no ladies.

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Old March 13th, 2007, 11:25 PM
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CC, Fine southern women don't go to those places. Only those Northern rogues, and white trash would darken those doors.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 11:48 PM
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Luanne>>> you are most definitely right.

But if you ask them, they will beg to differ....

(I think Myrtle Beach is a bit like Cancun..... you cannot judge all Americans by how some behave at Senor Frogs)
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Old March 14th, 2007, 12:46 AM
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I love Southern Women !!! being a transplant Yankee, I now know what it means when they say "Once you have been introduced to a true Southern woman.......(VBG)
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Old March 14th, 2007, 09:17 AM
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YOU SAID IT! I BELIEVE IT!

Melody
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Old March 14th, 2007, 09:25 AM
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When I announced my engagement to Jim. My grandmother and aunt were whispering. I thought it was that Jim is younger than I am, but my grandmother said "Honey, out of all the nice southern boys, why did you pick a Yankee." I am happy to report that Jim converted after our marriage.
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Old March 14th, 2007, 09:27 AM
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