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Old October 11th, 2008, 08:03 AM
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Default Suddenly Cruising Alone....

My husband of 22 years has decided he wants to be single. In addition to the stress & drama of spliting up - we have booked a cruise on the Crown sailing October 26th. He decided not to go - so I'm going alone.

Any tips? I've never traveled alone - we've been together since we were 19 years old. I did buy a Halloween costume - my thought was if there are Halloween festivities on board - it would be easier for me to mingle - meet others. The cruise line probably have me dining with couples - should I explain my situation and see if they can put me at a singles table?

My other question is about safety on the islands - I'd like to know how other single women handle these issues.

Thanks in advance for any help / ideas.
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Old October 11th, 2008, 08:06 AM
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I have no advice for you - just that I am sorry you have had to go thru this painful situation. I wish you all the best - and that the cruise will be a wonderful new beginning for you! Rest, enjoy, relax, refocus...
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Old October 11th, 2008, 08:40 AM
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What a bummer,,,but having been there, and done that some 25 years ago, I can tell you without hesitation, that everything is going to work out just fine!
By all means, let the line know you'll be traveling alone, and could they assign you a table with singles. Head for the maitre D' as soon as you board, and if you didn't get a table with singles, then request it at that time. If possible travel the islands with others that you feel comfortable with, and most importantly of all,,,,HAVE FUN!

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Old October 11th, 2008, 11:29 AM
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i have traveled alone, and it is not easy, but you can certainly get through it. don't count on too many singles things. i was alone in alaska this past summer and it was horrible. 90% of the passengers were couples. i had no problem going on excursions alone. eating was the worst. the matre d on the coral princess sucked. i told him i was alone and asked to eat with others. i was always the 5th wheel at a table of couples and was usually seated with folks who were half way through their meals.

i found i usually met the nicest folks at the buffet when i would ask if i could join them for a meal. you will also be amazed at how many folks will ask to join you when you are sitting alone at the buffet.

i wouldn't go into too much detail about your sitch. people will be impressed that you are going it alone. depends on the itinerary of the ship also. i traveled alone on the crown to the caribbean and there were many more singles and the trip was much more enjoyable.

please beware of male crew. they can spot a vulnerable women at 10 paces. don't be sucked in by their smooth talk no matter how sincere they sound. nothing more humiliating than to find out you were the POW - passenger of the week!

Good luck - you go girl, show that a**hole ex of yours that what doesn't kill you, will make you a much stronger and better person. my SO walked out on me 3 days after our 20 year anniversary. that was 6 years ago and i am a better person because of it.
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Old October 11th, 2008, 08:23 PM
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Go and have a good time. You didn't say what your dining arrangement will be - anytime or traditional (early or late). There's no reason for you to bring up your new situation - you don't have to explain yourself. You are a unique individual and people will accept you for that. I cruise alone and have a ball. I generally meet people at traditional late dining and also playing trivia.

As to ports - depends on your itinerary. If you want to take a shore excursion, I'd stick with Princess - they'll get you back in time. As to just browsing - lots of islands are just fine. Any problem spots would be a problem for a man, too.

Just checked the brochure and see this is a 7 day to Princess Cays, St. Maarten, St. Thomas, Grand Turk-Turks & Caicos Islands and you get back to FLL Sunday, November 2. Can't advise you about Grand Turk having never been there but you'll have no problem with the rest of your itinerary - and probably not there - as far as walking around.

Halloween will be the 2nd formal night and I'd bet a lot of people might dress up in costumes and others in formal wear - by this time in the cruise you'll already have met your future best buddies so don't think a costume would make any difference. What ever you're comfortable with.

Have fun!
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Old October 12th, 2008, 12:19 AM
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I usually travel alone and have done 30+ cruises. Much of your success will depend on your outlook, your demeanor - if you look sad and unfriendly, people will not seek you out. On the other hand, if you smile, strike up conversations, even with couples, join Trivia and other games and find a team to hook up with, you will have a ball.

I always book a large table, late seating. I'm usually the 5th, 7th or 9th wheel, but don't mind it anymore. Some of the women will envy your spirit and your freedom and the men will be kind of "big brothers" to you.

On shore, I always have a "phantom" husband. In St. Thomas once, while being high pressured to buy some jewelry I didn't need or could afford, I just let the guy go on and on and said, "I have to go find my husband - he has the credit card". My phantom husband has been used to discourage tour vendors wanting to show me the island - "Just can't seem to find him - probably in a bar somewhere".

Cruise line sponsored excursions can be fun but expensive. I've often hooked up with dinner table companions and done independent tours with them. Have to admit I feel more comfortable when a man is present. I kind of look at my dinner table as my "family". We meet at dinner and talk about the day. I've met some of my best friends at dinner tables on ships around the world. Go to "Name That Tune", "Trivia", any team thing and someone will ask you to join - or ask them! Forget the "Singles" mixers - not worth putting makeup on for!

I've walked alone in some places I probably shouldn't have been, but walk with purpose and you'll be fine. Your ports are very safe and easy to get around. Ask strangers (passengers) to take your picture - it's a great ice breaker. I always tell them, "When you travel alone no one believes you've been anywhere because there are no pictures of me". More than one couple has asked me to join them for lunch ashore or just hang around with them.

I know your feeling of dread and mixed emotions at this time but go on the cruise, put your best face forward and you just might be surprised at how much fun you will have. You have several new beginnings ahead of you, so start at sea.

Bon Voyage!
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Old October 12th, 2008, 01:36 AM
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been there (from a male perspective)..you'll be ok...did you have trip insurance to attempt to recoup some of your funds or did you just elect to go in the cabin by yourself ? if you booked thru a travel agent did you contact your agent and explain the situation and see if perhaps a girlfriend can come instead (probably a cost to change names, if you can at this late point)

people onboard don't have to know your personal situation as to why you are by yourself, consider this cruise part of your time to yourself and stay positive..usually you'll be able to hook up with other people and enjoy yourself
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Old October 12th, 2008, 11:34 AM
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I chose 2nd seating traditional and I'm going to stay with that choice. I think chatting with the same folks at dinner will be nice. I also plan to choose a Princess excursion so I'll be sure to make it back to the ship on time. Yesterday I booked a pre - cruise hotel in Ft. Lauderdale that has a cocktail hour - maybe some people there will be cruising on the Crown? Anyway they have a 'cruise passenger rate' that includes breakfast and trans to the ship the next morning.

I didnt buy the trip insurance. I thought about calling the cruise line and asking if I can change the 2nd person ticket to a friend, but for some reason I keep feeling this was meant to work out this way and I'm looking at this as a new begining - what a way to to it - on a beautiful cruise. At the very least I'll have some down time to relax and decompress.

Thanks to all the kind people that replied. I read this blog constantly (but hardly ever write), and I knew I'd get some help / tips when I asked. I'm actually going to print a copy and take it with me (in case I have a blonde moment and can't remember).
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Old October 12th, 2008, 12:59 PM
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Dear Sistagoldenhair; you are right to continue to go on this much anticipated cruise by yourself. Look at the cruise as a golden opportunity to meet people, who your would have never met in your life. If it were me, I would plan to go on organized excursions everytime the ship is in a port. Besides the safety factor, it will give you the opportunity to engage in conversation with your fellow passangers. Remember, life has to go on and look at your situation as something that can be greatly positive in the future!
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Old October 12th, 2008, 02:53 PM
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I agree with Beliqique. I too have used the phantom husband excuse when shopping or whatever. Even when I travel with groups of friends, I am usually alone when shopping or even excursions. People don't always want to do the same things even if you came with them!
Just think, you will have that nice queen size bed all to yourself and all that closet space. You will really enjoy having the cabin all to yourself. That is the part I like best!!
Just smile and you will be fine.
You could make up some wild and exotic story about yourself. Be the central character in a novel for a week. Who will know any different? Most likely you will not see these people again. Could add a bit of fun and intrigue.
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Old October 12th, 2008, 10:43 PM
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Default Re: Suddenly Cruising Alone....

Go, mingle, have fun!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sistagoldenhair
My husband of 22 years has decided he wants to be single. In addition to the stress & drama of spliting up - we have booked a cruise on the Crown sailing October 26th. He decided not to go - so I'm going alone.

Any tips? I've never traveled alone - we've been together since we were 19 years old. I did buy a Halloween costume - my thought was if there are Halloween festivities on board - it would be easier for me to mingle - meet others. The cruise line probably have me dining with couples - should I explain my situation and see if they can put me at a singles table?

My other question is about safety on the islands - I'd like to know how other single women handle these issues.

Thanks in advance for any help / ideas.
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Old October 13th, 2008, 09:42 AM
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I like your outlook, that this was meant to be..Think of this cruise as your serendipity cruise...Expect the unexpected, with a smile. I admire your pluck

I expect, when you come back and tell us of your adventures, you will have some wonderful stories to share, of your good times, and the people you met.

Oh, get yourself a bauble too, you deserve it. Have a ball!
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Old October 13th, 2008, 09:44 AM
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Dear Sista, Hang in there! If I was suffering a broken heart, and my life had just been turned upside down, I can think of few places better to help adjust and mend than a cruise.
As someone who didn't marry until I was well into my 30's, I can tell you that being single is not a terminal illness, and you know how Forest Gump says... life is like a box of chocolates? Well being single is like a cruise, you get out of it, what you put into it. You can go into it with dread, knowing that everything is going to disappoint you, looking for issues behind every corner and feeling sorry for yourself, waiting for Mr. Right (or the perfect cruise ship) to come rescue you from your misery. Try to live in the moment and make the most of it.
I am no mathematician but if you met this guy when you were 19 and have been together for 22 years, then you are still young and vital and have your whole life ahead of you. (you are not allowed to disagree with me on this point, since I am older than you )

Open your mind and heart to new possibilities. Nothing happens without reason or purpose. I have always found that when one door closes a new one opens.
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Old October 13th, 2008, 10:28 AM
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If you do end up cruising alone, be sure to get a credit for the second persons port charges and taxes and fuel charge if one. You will pay two fares but should get a couple hundred or so credit for these things.

Also, just go and have fun. Attend the singles meet and mingle if they have it. I have cruised by myself several times and always have fun.

Good riddens! No good bas-tard anyway!
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Old October 13th, 2008, 10:42 AM
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Since I didn't get around to marriage until age 50, I consider myself an expert on the subject of single travel. Just do it! Ignore the morons who, upon hearing your travel plans, say "You're going alone?" with a very dispapproving full of pity tone. Your response should rightly be "Yes I am traveling alone! Why should I sit on my butt at home and possibly miss the things I want to see and do in life just because I do not have a partner?"

During my 32 odd years of adult single life, I saw a good portion of our world, including some I would rather have skipped courtesy of the US Air Force . I never ever had any problems with being single and sometimes found very interesting groups of people with whom to socialize.

The world is waiting out there for you, but you must go to it, it will not come to you.

Bon Voyage!
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Old October 13th, 2008, 12:09 PM
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I have been single a very long time. At first I was self conscious about going alone on cruises. Over the years my outlook has changed. I go everywhere alone. I always have a great time. Go and enjoy the cruise.

Laura
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Old October 13th, 2008, 12:23 PM
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be not afraid!!! from a male standpoint (i am a catholic priest, retired, and obviously not married) i have logged 29 cruises, almost all on my own. in fact, the ones i went on with friends were the least memorable of all. just decide you are going to be open and friendly and meet folks; you don't have to spill the beans about your unfortunate (?) situation. that's none of anyone's business. let the cruise line know you are now solo and they will try to put you at a larger table with a 'mixed' crowd. get out, go to the shows, find some kindred souls to go into port with. and don't worry about others judging you; have fun, you'll never see them again -- the ones who judge you; others you may have as friends for a long time. i've still got friends i met on my first cruise 12 years ago. and besides, as a solo, you have more freedom to do what strikes you. don't want to shop -- ok. want to read, nap, or just veg out?--fine. no more 'honey, we've got to be here at this time and place with whomever'. enjoy. it could be just the experience you need to find your space and wind down. best wishes to you.
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Old October 13th, 2008, 01:03 PM
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I absolutely love being single on a cruise ship. And I don't mind paying the suppliment and having a cabin to myself. I do cruise with friends (msblackjack and last time with DTW) but we don't do everything together on the ship. I'm usually all over the place and have made many new friends along the way. Go... enjoy... relax.
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Old October 13th, 2008, 01:45 PM
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I really feel much better about going since reading all the positive feedback. I'm much more confident now that I've heard others have done the same. I know this happens to people everyday - and I will be ok!!

I didnt think about the double surcharge for fuel - thanks for pointing that out. I might just take that extra $$$ and buy a fabulous "freedom bracelet" at one of the jewelry places

I have always been a people person - so I'm thinking I'll have no problem chatting up the ship!!!

I will certainly post my adventure when I get back - thanks again for the great idea's and kind replys.
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Old October 19th, 2008, 01:39 AM
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Sista, just a suggestion: is there any way you could invite a good friend or relative to accompany you on your cruise ? (kinda last minute, I know, but...)
We just sailed this past week with my single sister and our single cousin.
The 2 "girls" shared a cabin, making it cheaper for both, they kept each other company, and enjoyed excursions and activities together while checking out the cute guys on board!

Whatever you decide to do, enjoy!

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Old October 19th, 2008, 11:43 AM
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Hi Donna,

I didnt ask anyone to go because I havent told a lot of people that I'm heading down divorce street - just one brother and one friend.

The more time goes by, I think this will be a good 'first step' to my new single life. A bit scary for me - but I'm thinking this trip will not only be a fab time, but a great self-confidence builder that I so desperatly need.

One week from today and I'll be on the high seas - wooooohooooo!!!!
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Old October 19th, 2008, 12:03 PM
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hmmmmmmmmm...something tells all of us on these boards that you are going to have a GREAT time..

just fyi..find the best looking younger man (within 5-10 years of you) that you can at the pool..ask him to take a few pictures with you (tell him it's for your daughters or girlfriends at home to encourage them to take a future cruise with you)..make sure one of the pictures include formal night...buy a nice ship's picture frame (or better yet purchase a digital picture frame from Wal Mart)...purchase* 2 *souvenir drink glasses..when you come home make sure all are displayed over your fireplace..also purchase a CD of caribbean music from one of the ports you visited

after you return home, whenever you get down(or have post cruise depression)..put on the island CD, make yourself an island drink (any of the ship's bartenders will give you the receipe), look at the pictures and just smile

fyi..you have to post at least one of those pictures in this photo gallery so we can all see...also go out of your way to make new friends so perhaps the next time you cruise it will be with them and they might know of a nice man that they can introduce you toooooo
or
book yourself on the CM BLOG2NOLA upcoming cruise in Feb 09 and you will have all of us for support
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Old October 20th, 2008, 03:15 PM
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Sista - have a great time! Enjoy the freedom to do what you want to do!!

Looking forward to a full report and remember " what happens on the cruise stays on the cruise"!!!!!!
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Old October 23rd, 2008, 01:42 PM
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ohhhhhh - I never thought about asking strangers to take a picture!!! (see how much I'm learning from y'all??) I never would have thought of it on my own!!!

3 more days - ooooooooooooooh, I'm ready!!!!
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Old October 23rd, 2008, 04:39 PM
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I go up to perfect strangers and always ask if they mind taking a picture, often it is of several of us, but I see others ask all the time of them alone, and you know what? When you ask, and they take your snap.....they usually ask....can you take one of me as well??
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