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Old January 10th, 2010, 07:47 PM
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Default Airplane stuff

A few here enjoyed a recent post about the life of pilots.

I have a few more tidbits of fun along those lines. This and another post about planes and air traffic control fun.

Here we have the BOEING 797...
Look at this new aircraft....
http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/alb...?dl=1263170366

http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/alb...?dl=1263170366

Boeing is preparing a 1000 passenger jet that could reshape the Air travel industry for the next 100 years. The radical Blended Wing design has been developed by Boeing in cooperation with the NASA Langley Research Center . The mammoth plane will have a wing span of 265 feet compared to the 747's 211 feet, and is designed to fit within the newly created terminals used for the 555 seat Airbus A380, which is 262 feet wide.

The new 797 is in direct response to the Airbus A380 which has racked up 159 orders, but has not yet flown any passengers. Boeing decide to kill its 747X stretched super jumbo in 2003 after little interest was shown by airline companies, but has continued to develop the ultimate Airbus crusher 797 for years at its Phantom Works r esearch facility in Long Beach, Calif.

The Airbus A380 has been in the works since 1999 and has accumulated $13 billion in development costs, which gives Boeing a huge advantage now that Airbus has committed to the older style tubular aircraft for decades to come.

There are several big advantages to the blended wing design, the most important being the lift to drag ratio which is expected to increase by an amazing 50%, with overall weight reduced by 25%, making it an estimated 33% more efficient than the A380, and making Airbus's $13 billion dollar investment look pretty shaky.

High body rigidity is another key factor in blended wing aircraft, It reduces turbulence and creates less stress on the air frame which adds to efficiency, giving the 797 a tremendous 8800 nautical mile range with its 1000 passengers fly ing comfortably at mach 0.88 or 654 mph (+-1046km/h) cruising speed a nother advantage over the Airbus tube-and-wing designed A380's 570 mph (912 km/h).

The exact date for introduction is unclear, yet the battle lines are clearly drawn in the high-stakes war for civilian air supremacy.

Phil & Liz
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The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. Margaret Thatcher

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Old January 10th, 2010, 07:50 PM
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Default P-26, Seversky AT-12, P-51D and F-86

More airplane fun...




Phil & Liz

__________________
The Original Phil & Liz

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. Margaret Thatcher

Never take an idiot travelling, you can always pick one up when you get there. Billy Connolly

I Didn't Come here and I ain't Leaving.
Willie Nelson

9/01/2013 Carnival Legend
2/16/2014 BC 7

Bill Murray
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.
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Old January 10th, 2010, 07:53 PM
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Default ATC fun

Heard on ATC frequency
British Airways flight asks for push back clearance from terminal.
Control Tower replies: 'And where is the world's most experienced airline going today without filing a flight plan?'
-----------------------
ATC: 'Alitalia 345 continue taxi to 26L South via Tango - check for workers along taxiway.'
Alitalia 345: 'Roger, Taxi 26 Left a via Tango. Workers checked - all are working'
-----------------------
Nova 851: 'Halifax Terminal, Nova 851 with you out of 13,000 for 10,000, requesting runway 15.'

Halifax Terminal (female): 'Nova 851 Halifax, the last time I gave a pilot what he wanted I was on penicillin for three weeks. Expect runway 06.'
-----------------------
Lost student pilot: 'Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself.'
-----------------------
NY Ctr: 'Federal Express 235, descend, maintain three one zero, expect lower in ten miles.' FedEx 235: 'Okay, outta three five for three one oh, FedEx two thirty-five.'
NY Ctr: 'Delta fahv twuntee, climb one ninah zeruh, dat'll be finah...'
Delta 520: 'Uhh... up to one niner zero, Delta five twenty.'
NY Ctr: 'Al-italia wonna sixxa, you slowa to two-a-fifty, please.'
Alitalia 16: 'HEY! You makea funna Alitalia?!'
NY Ctr: 'Oh, no! I make-a! funna Delta anna FedEx!'
--------------------------
Tower: Have you got enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes what??
Pilot: Yes, SIR
---------------------------
Frankfurt Contol: 'AF1733, You are on an eight mile final for 27R. You have a UH-1 three miles ahead of you on final; reduce speed to 130 knots.'
Pilot: 'Rogo', Frankfurt . We're bringing this big bird back to one-hundred and thirty knots fer ya.'
Control: (a few moments later): 'AF33, helicopter traffic at 90 knots now11/2 miles ahead of you; reduce speed further to 110 knots.'
Pilot: 'AF thirty-three reining this here bird back further to 110 knots'
Control: 'AF33, you are three miles to touchdown, helicopter traffic now 1 mile ahead of you; reduce speed to 90 knots'
Pilot (a little miffed): 'Sir, do you know what the stall speed of this here C-130 is?'
Control: 'No, but if you ask your co-pilot, he can probably tell you.'
--------------------------
ATC: 'Cessna 123, What are your intentions? '
Cessna: 'To get my Commercial Pilots Licence and Instrument Rating.'
ATC: 'I meant in the next five minutes not years.'
--------------------------
Controller: AF123, say call sign of your wingman.
Pilot: Uh... approach, we're a single ship.
Controller: oh, oh ****! You have traffic!
---------------------
O'Hare Approach: USA212, cleared ILS runway 32L approach, maintain 250 knots. USA212: Roger approach, how long do you need me to maintain that speed?
O'Hare Approach: All the way to the gate if you can.
USA212: Ah, OK, but you better warn ground control.
----------------------
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 3,000 ft on QNH 1019.
Pan AM 1: Could you give that to me in inches?
ATC: Pan Am 1, descend to 36,000 inches on QNH 1019
------------------------
Cessna 152: 'Flight Level Three Thousand, Seven Hundred'
Controller: 'Roger, contact Houston Space Center '
--------------------------
Beech Baron: Uh, ATC, verify you want me to taxi in front of the 747.
ATC: Yeah, it's OK. He's not hungry.
-------------------------
Student Pilot: 'I'm lost; I'm over a big lake and heading toward the big E.'
Controller: 'Make several 90 degree turns so I can identify you on radar.'
(short pause)... Controller: 'Okay then. That big lake is the Atlantic Ocean . Suggest you turn to the big W immediately .'
--------------------
Pilot: 'Approach, Acme Flt 202, with you at 12,000' and 40 DME.'
Appro ach: 'Acme 202, cross 30 DME at and maintain 8000'.'
Pilot: 'Approach, 202's unable that descent rate.'
Approach: 'What's the matter 202? Don't you have speed brakes?'
Pilot: 'Yup. But they're for my mistakes. Not yours.'
-----------------------------
Tower: 'American...and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach.'
American: 'That's correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right'
-----------------------
Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60. (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 contact Cleveland Center 135.60!' (pause)
Controller: 'USA353 you're just like my wife you never listen!'
Pilot: 'Center, this is USA553, maybe if you called her by the right name you'd get a better response!'
-----------------------
BB: 'Barnburner 123, Request 8300 feet.'
Bay Approach: 'Barnburner 123, say reason for requested altitude.'
BB: 'Because the last 2 times I've been at 8500, I've nearly been run over by some bozo at 8500 feet going the wrong way!'
Bay Approach: 'That's a good reason. 8300 approved.'
------------------------------------
Controller: 'FAR1234 confirm your type of aircraft. Are you an Airbus 330 or 340?'
Pilot: 'A340 of course!'
Controller: 'Then would you mind switching on the two other engines and give me 1000 feet per minute, please?'
---------------------------
Tower: 'Cessna 123, turn right now and report your heading.'
Pilot: 'Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345...'
---------------------------------
Foreign Pilot Trainee: 'Tower, please speak slowly, I am a baby in English and lonely in the cockpit'
---- -------------------
Controller: 'CRX600, are you on course to SUL?'
Pilot: 'More or less.'
Controller: 'So proceed a little bit more to SUL.'
----------------------------
Pilot: 'Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.' Tower: 'KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.'
Pilot: 'Please confirm: two hours delay?'
Tower: 'Affirmative.'
Pilot: 'In that case, cancel the good morning!'


Phil & Liz
__________________
The Original Phil & Liz

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money. Margaret Thatcher

Never take an idiot travelling, you can always pick one up when you get there. Billy Connolly

I Didn't Come here and I ain't Leaving.
Willie Nelson

9/01/2013 Carnival Legend
2/16/2014 BC 7

Bill Murray
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old January 11th, 2010, 09:19 AM
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Default

THanks for posting. I've seen some of those before but they never cease to make me smile, or Laugh Out Loud. (I've heard a few good ones myself, and should have written them down!)

"SKY"
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