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As a child during WWll, when cigaretts were rationed, I helped my father roll them using a little machine and loose tobacco. Of course, at that time you would read advertisements with doctors recommending particular brands. I thought at the time that I was helping my father. He later died of lung cancer.
That really may not be the worst thing I ever did, but it sure is high on the list.
Interesting question . When I was about 10 years old I was playing stickball in Brooklyn and was throwing the ball to a kid also about 10. I accidentally hit him in the head . Luckily he made a complete recovery but it was the last time I ever played the game .
I don't know what made me do this, because as a child, I was a "goody-2-shoes" at school, obeyed the rules, and was always shy and quiet, in fact, feared being noticed. In grade 1 or 2, for some strange reason, one day when the boy in front of me went to sit down at his desk, I pulled his chair out as he was sitting, and he landed on the floor.
I thought it was funny, and so did the rest of the kids, but of course the teacher didn't and I was punished. I will never forget it.
And I think of what kids today get away with in the classroom.....
If that's the worst stuff ya'll have ever done I'm one bad mutha.
Along the lines of the OP's story...My grandfather was dying of cancer 20 years ago. I came to visit him (for what we now know is our last time together) in the hospital. It was my birthday. He called my grandmother over and asked her to hand him his wallet. He pulled $20 out and told me "Happy Birthday". A few days later when I got back home I went out and with my $20 gift from my near dead grandfather bought a quarter bag of poor quality weed. That's probably no where near the worst thing I've ever done, but it still causes me pangs of regret.
I am also a sinner with a checkered past. I have to admit I was not always a good person. As an adult I never intentionally hurt anyone, but as a child I put gum in peoples' hair, and once tested a fellow school mates' testicular limits with the toes of my tennis shoes. It was just a random act of violence which I cannot explain. I was not a regular bully at all, but there were times when I bullied people I knew were weaker than myself for no reason.
I guess in perspective this is not so unusual, some people are obviously far worse and less remorseful. But I wish I could say I was always a "good kid." I wasn't. I wasn't a brat and I didn't ditch school, people generally liked me, but I certainly thought I was too smart for my own good.
As a young adult I indulged in the rock 'n roll lifestyle too much and I fear what I don't know more than I think of anything specific I know I did. In other words, I worry about the times I can't remember.
Unfortunately, you can't change the past, but you can change the present. You can always become a better person and hopefully it evens things out in the long run.
Looking back on life, I realize now one of the best things a person can acquire early in life is a good moral compass. Understanding the rewards of doing good deeds (instead of spending your whole life wondering why life isnt fair) ends up being a far better way to live in the long run.
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I am the editor, but I also speculate, ask questions and play devil's advocate. I reserve the right to change my mind.
What's the worst thing anyone has ever done to you - in your adult years?
I have a friend who was my best man just six years ago.
A few years ago he asked me for a loan equal to about two weeks' salary for me. I said "only under one condition - you not let it ruin our friendship." he said he would pay me back as soon as possible. I asked for this because I did want it hanging over our friendship.
Guess what - he has not paid me back and he no longer returns my phone calls.
For about a year we got along, but I called him a once and said "hey what's up?" and he said "Oh, just working on an addition for our house."
Later I called him and asked him to hang out and he said "hey, you don't want to be friends with me, I'm really not a good person." That's pretty much how we left that.
I really hate this. He was a good person until he owed me some money, then he suddenly became a bad person. But it wasn't my fault (he says). So, I am supposed to be OK with the fact that he doesn't want to hang out with me because i did him a favor.
Let me tell you - if you owe someone money the worst thing you can do is act like you don't want to know them.
I would rather have the friend than the money - but I ended up with neither. And the sad thing is that he screwed it up for the next person who may need to borrow money from me because never again.
I will give friends money if they need it - but no more loans.
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I am the editor, but I also speculate, ask questions and play devil's advocate. I reserve the right to change my mind.
What's the worst thing anyone has ever done to you - in your adult years?
I have a friend who was my best man just six years ago.
A few years ago he asked me for a loan equal to about two weeks' salary for me. I said "only under one condition - you not let it ruin our friendship." he said he would pay me back as soon as possible. I asked for this because I did want it hanging over our friendship.
Guess what - he has not paid me back and he no longer returns my phone calls.
For about a year we got along, but I called him a once and said "hey what's up?" and he said "Oh, just working on an addition for our house."
Later I called him and asked him to hang out and he said "hey, you don't want to be friends with me, I'm really not a good person." That's pretty much how we left that.
I really hate this. He was a good person until he owed me some money, then he suddenly became a bad person. But it wasn't my fault (he says). So, I am supposed to be OK with the fact that he doesn't want to hang out with me because i did him a favor.
Let me tell you - if you owe someone money the worst thing you can do is act like you don't want to know them.
I would rather have the friend than the money - but I ended up with neither. And the sad thing is that he screwed it up for the next person who may need to borrow money from me because never again.
I will give friends money if they need it - but no more loans.
38 years ago a friend of mine was getting married .He had just graduated
college and did not have a job .He asked me to lend him $500 stating he would pay me back as soon as he found a job . To date I have not gotten one penny . He is a very successful businessman today .
Paul, I think this is one of the best things that you've ever written, that I have had the pleasure to read. Write on, and right on!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Motter
I am also a sinner with a checkered past. I have to admit I was not always a good person. As an adult I never intentionally hurt anyone, but as a child I put gum in peoples' hair, and once tested a fellow school mates' testicular limits with the toes of my tennis shoes. It was just a random act of violence which I cannot explain. I was not a regular bully at all, but there were times when I bullied people I knew were weaker than myself for no reason.
I guess in perspective this is not so unusual, some people are obviously far worse and less remorseful. But I wish I could say I was always a "good kid." I wasn't. I wasn't a brat and I didn't ditch school, people generally liked me, but I certainly thought I was too smart for my own good.
As a young adult I indulged in the rock 'n roll lifestyle too much and I fear what I don't know more than I think of anything specific I know I did. In other words, I worry about the times I can't remember.
Unfortunately, you can't change the past, but you can change the present. You can always become a better person and hopefully it evens things out in the long run.
Looking back on life, I realize now one of the best things a person can acquire early in life is a good moral compass. Understanding the rewards of doing good deeds (instead of spending your whole life wondering why life isnt fair) ends up being a far better way to live in the long run.
I guess I'm going to take the 5th on this one. I never stole, cheated or hurt anyone who wasn't trying to hurt me.
The thing that always bothered me was tripping a girl in seventh grade. Other kids were always picking on her and when she walked by my locker with an armload of books I stuck my foot out and tripped her. I was immediately sorry for it and immediately helped her pick up her books and I apologized. The bad part was that I told her "It was an accident". It's always bothered me because it scared me that I could be that cruel to someone for no reason.
I do feel good for her though. By the time she got to high school she turned into a stone cold fox and all the boys that used to pick on her were lining up to try and get a date. She never dated any of them. She went out with a boy she met at "Arthur Murray" dance class. She later became semi-famous as a local actor.
Take care,
Mike
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Oh, the stories I could tell,,,when I was young, crazy, and absolutely knew everything. I'll also have to take the 5th,,,,but God bless my Mom and Dad for what I put them through. Nobody deserved that!
Sometimes 2 pals can be fine, add a 3rd to the mix,and things happen. We all were babysitting for my girlfriends nephew. We started to gang up on #3. Nothing terribly outrageous, but just mean stuff.
I carried this guilt and felt so bad for sooo many years! Couple of years back, we went out for dinner. I told her of my shame, and apologized. The twist of it all is, she had no idea, what I was referring to!
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I am certainly no person of any means whatsoever but if the opportunity presents itself and I can help someone out, I'll give them some money but I won't lend it. If the individual wants to pay me back, I just ask that they pay it forward. Probably kinda' a stupid thing to do but it works for me.
My father had a rule that I carried down. "You do not loan money to friends or family. You give it to them." Never expect to be paid back and there won't be any bad feelings.
I think I have gave money to friends or family three or four times and it always came back. Now my wife's family is another story. The "giveaways" stopped a long time ago.
Take care,
Mike
__________________ Cruisemates Community Leader/Moderator
"There is a great difference between being well traveled and just having been to many places." ~Me
Well, it's hard to pick from all the things I now regret.
However, one that stands out is when I was about 12 years old, and whacked my friend in the head with a golf club. We were hitting whiffle balls in his back yard, and every time I missed, he laughed. I finally got tired of it, and hit him. Took 12 stitches to close the wound.
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Okay I'll admit it I have done worst things. I was a teenager and someone owed me money for a concert. At the concert he asked to start dating me. I wasn't interested so I let him down, I thought, gently. After the concert he wasn't paying me back. I think he thought I would give up. I don't do that. It came to a head when I went to his house for the money. I was with my mom. He refused to see me and told his parents I agreed to pay for him and only wanted the money now so I could pay drugs. I'm normally in control of my anger. This is one of the few times I had no control of my anger. He was inside of the house I started yelling at him to the point the parents threatened to call the police. My mom made me leave.
His father came by the next day and said "here is your blood money." So I did get paid. Here is where I feel bad (sort of). Next time I saw this person I was driving a car and he was riding a bike. I made him and my poor mom think I was going to hit him with a car. I was in control of my temper at the time so I wasn't going to hit him. I never did drugs that he said I did to his parents really bugged and still bugs me.
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Same thing. I had things I regretted where I talked to the person later and they didnt even remember it. I had a friend who was playing with me in the sixth grade and he swung me around and I hit a bleachers with the side of my head. I still have a scar on my right eyelid from it. He felt guilty about it for years, but I never held it against him, it was purely an accident. He apologized to me as an adult, and I was just surprised he had been carrying that around.
But I had some friends who sneaked into my parent's backyard in Phoenix after high school (I had moved out of town by then) and they stole my fathers prize canoe (hand built in Maine) and put it on the canal behind their house, rode for a few miles and then just ditched it. They told me about it at a party a few years later and thought I would laugh about it. I knew the canoe had been stolen, but I was really po'd to find out it was friends of mine who I had invited over to the house and they had seen it.
I also know a guy who carried around the guilt of something he did when he was a young kid for most of his adult life and eventually committed suicide. I had another friend from 1st grade who I later looked up in my teens (14 y.o.). He seemed almost too nice, too perfect, (not a high school teen scoundral like I was in 1967) and a year later he comitted suicide. Most likely over guilt about something he did - probably something most of us had done.
My point here is carrying around guilt for the things we did as children. It is a very interesting question - how responsible are we for the things we did as very young children?
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I am the editor, but I also speculate, ask questions and play devil's advocate. I reserve the right to change my mind.
When I was in junior high I traveled by bus to and from school every day. One of the school bully's tried every day to throw kids off the bus (back door) including me. He recently e-mailed everyone he could locate to apologize .
My father died young (53) and my grandmother survived him by a good 10 years. He made my mother promise never to put her in a home, and she honoured his wish, and made a room for her in our house. My grandmother never approved of my mother, or the marriage, and treated her badly, to say the least, right to the bitter end. My mother literally cleaned her behind, cooked for her, looked after her etc, and the old lady complained constantly.
I was 19 years old, and went to FLL for spring break. I called home, and my mother told me the old lady has passed on. I said "Good." and went back to drinking and partying as if nothing had happened. That is the only time I have not felt badly about somebody's passing. I regret my callousness to this day.
I hereby vow I will never disrespect a relative, especially one who looks after me in MY invalid years, in such a manner.
My father, may he rest in peace, always said "with age comes wisdom". One of my biggest regrets is not keeping in touch with my aunt who lived in Chicago. Now, she is no longer alive. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't spend a couple of minutes thinking about the wonderful times I had visting her in the "windy city".
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