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Frequently I read women post as follows:I am going out with my girlfriend or any other reference as such . However a man cannot post referring to a male friend as a boyfriend nor can a man post using the term girlfriend if he is married .
Therefore ,a double standard exits
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Henry
I see what you are saying about a guy catching flack for posting he is going out with his "boyfriend" without sending the message that there is some sort of romantic involvement. That is indeed a true double standard.
However, if I as a married woman posted that I was going out with a "boyfriend" I too would likely catch some flack...most likely from my Husband lol. So I'm not sure if that particular example represents a double standard.
I the UK I would say that "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" both refer to a romantic/sexual connection. We don't generally discriminate when we say who we are going out with, we would just say "going out with friends" whether they be one gender or both....sometimes ''mixed gender''.
I think this falls into semantics and cultural norms. Over the years it has developed into normal forms of speech to describe relationships between people and it is different between the sexes. English is one of the least "sexist" languages. Many languages designate inanimate objects, in their speech, as male and female. The Spanish "o" and "a" suffix on words for male and female and the German: Der (male), Die (female), Das (neutral).
The double standard between men and women that irritates me is in the "jokes" that I see. Many women think it is perfectly acceptable to tell a joke that describes men as stupid or describe physical abuse to men. If you took the words "man" or "men" out of these jokes and inserted "woman" or "women" then women would be up in arms and say it was abusive to women. I have seen these same women tell "man" jokes and think they are hilarious. When they are confronted about it or told that it is offensive the standard come back is: "Oh c'mon it's just a joke".
I am offended by both types of jokes whether they are directed at a man or a woman.
Take care,
Mike
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Henry
I see what you are saying about a guy catching flack for posting he is going out with his "boyfriend" without sending the message that there is some sort of romantic involvement. That is indeed a true double standard.
However, if I as a married woman posted that I was going out with a "boyfriend" I too would likely catch some flack...most likely from my Husband lol. So I'm not sure if that particular example represents a double standard.
Quite true but if I am having lunch with a female friend as I often do I cannot say I went to lunch with a girl friend .
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Its not so much as a double standard, most guys will say they are doing something with a buddy, same as a friend.
My point is that females on this board nearly always state they did something with a girlfriend not with a gal friend .Therefore ,a male should be able to say he did something with a boyfriend but society does not allow that .
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life ,Namaste".
I had to read your post several times, and then think deep about what I am use to saying. I say girlfriend all the time, but would never say boyfriend, so I guess I am guilty of what you say.
I had to read your post several times, and then think deep about what I am used to saying. I say girlfriend all the time, but would never say boyfriend, so I guess I am guilty of what you say.
I am afraid that our language has evolved.
That was my point ,exactly .
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life ,Namaste".
Dave The Wave and I were just talking about this topic on our Cougar Cruise :: it seems ok if a group of women (4) share a cabin to save $$$$ but if 4 metro men shared a cabin there would be a conversation
to Henry's and Katlady's point, if you are married and say you are having lunch or doing an activity with a member of the opposite side, it might cause questions..I am single so I don't have that issue
Dave The Wave and I were just talking about this topic on our Cougar Cruise :: it seems ok if a group of women (4) share a cabin to save $$$$ but if 4 metro men shared a cabin there would be a conversation
to Henry's and Katlady's point, if you are married and say you are having lunch or doing an activity with a member of the opposite side, it might cause questions..I am single so I don't have that issue
I will soon be married 44 years .I have had female friends that I socialize with for close to 40 years .My wife has absolutely no problem with me going out to lunch ,dinner or spending time with my female friends .Its all a matter of trust .
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life ,Namaste".
I have been married for almost (Oct. 26) 36 yrs. and I have several boy friends. For a couple of years I went out several times in the summer to baseball games with my friends. A different one each time. My husband hates baseball and I love it. I get 2 free tickets to the Blue Jays games right on the field at 1st base. He knows them all and is happy that he doesn't have to go. My best friend just died in Feb. He was a boy friend. His wife and my husband went out on a "date" when the 4 of us went to London England 3 yrs ago. My friend and I went out to a meeting. The two of them still talk about their "date". There is not question about trust. My best friend and I several years ago had to work on a project together and the only time the two of had was in the morning at my house. His wife is a good friend of mine as well and the two of us would never have done anything to hurt our spouses. Besides I have a husband that I am really happy with and the thought of complicating it with another person romantically just doesn't enter the picture.
tigercat
I use the term "gentleman" friend" when I am socializing with a male. That seems to confound everyone. My reasoning is that any male that I might be having dinner with are certainly to old to be referred to as "boy" friend."
Laura
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I use the term "gentleman" friend" when I am socializing with a male. That seems to confound everyone. My reasoning is that any male that I might be having dinner with are certainly to old to be referred to as "boy" friend."
Laura
Or simply say friend
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"Today is the first day of the rest of your life ,Namaste".