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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:00 AM
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Default Double Standard

Frequently I read women post as follows:I am going out with my girlfriend or any other reference as such . However a man cannot post referring to a male friend as a boyfriend nor can a man post using the term girlfriend if he is married .

Therefore ,a double standard exits
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:09 AM
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Hmm... I find on some sites I can't post about anything much without upsetting someone!!
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:52 AM
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Henry
I see what you are saying about a guy catching flack for posting he is going out with his "boyfriend" without sending the message that there is some sort of romantic involvement. That is indeed a true double standard.

However, if I as a married woman posted that I was going out with a "boyfriend" I too would likely catch some flack...most likely from my Husband lol. So I'm not sure if that particular example represents a double standard.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:57 AM
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I would say..call him a pal a friend a buddy,& let the chips fall where they may....
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Old October 12th, 2010, 11:31 AM
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I the UK I would say that "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" both refer to a romantic/sexual connection. We don't generally discriminate when we say who we are going out with, we would just say "going out with friends" whether they be one gender or both....sometimes ''mixed gender''.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 12:49 PM
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I think this falls into semantics and cultural norms. Over the years it has developed into normal forms of speech to describe relationships between people and it is different between the sexes. English is one of the least "sexist" languages. Many languages designate inanimate objects, in their speech, as male and female. The Spanish "o" and "a" suffix on words for male and female and the German: Der (male), Die (female), Das (neutral).

The double standard between men and women that irritates me is in the "jokes" that I see. Many women think it is perfectly acceptable to tell a joke that describes men as stupid or describe physical abuse to men. If you took the words "man" or "men" out of these jokes and inserted "woman" or "women" then women would be up in arms and say it was abusive to women. I have seen these same women tell "man" jokes and think they are hilarious. When they are confronted about it or told that it is offensive the standard come back is: "Oh c'mon it's just a joke".

I am offended by both types of jokes whether they are directed at a man or a woman.

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Old October 12th, 2010, 12:55 PM
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The double standards of sexual activity annoy me...I was always an immoral tart & proud of it.....but....
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Old October 12th, 2010, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnthed0g View Post
Hmm... I find on some sites I can't post about anything much without upsetting someone!!
This post has really upset me.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 02:35 PM
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Default Beenie

Quote:
Originally Posted by beenie weenie View Post
Henry
I see what you are saying about a guy catching flack for posting he is going out with his "boyfriend" without sending the message that there is some sort of romantic involvement. That is indeed a true double standard.

However, if I as a married woman posted that I was going out with a "boyfriend" I too would likely catch some flack...most likely from my Husband lol. So I'm not sure if that particular example represents a double standard.
Quite true but if I am having lunch with a female friend as I often do I cannot say I went to lunch with a girl friend .
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Old October 12th, 2010, 05:03 PM
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WOW,,,I'm offended too. Where's the ACLU when you need 'em?

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Old October 12th, 2010, 05:08 PM
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Why can't you just say...I am going to lunch with a friend..end of story?
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Old October 12th, 2010, 05:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trip View Post
Why can't you just say...I am going to lunch with a friend..end of story?
Trip, you beat me to it.

I always say I am lunching with a friend - I never mention the sex of the individual . Why would you? and who cares?

Last edited by anniegb; October 12th, 2010 at 05:18 PM. Reason: Clarification.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 05:22 PM
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I say you tell folks that you are meeting a girlfriend for lunch and give them something to talk about...lol
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Old October 12th, 2010, 06:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beenie weenie View Post
I say you tell folks that you are meeting a girlfriend for lunch and give them something to talk about...lol
In California that could really set people to wondering when I changed teams and got a girlfriend. My hubby would be super surprised.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 06:57 PM
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Its not so much as a double standard, most guys will say they are doing something with a buddy, same as a friend.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 09:06 PM
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Default Yes,however

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donna View Post
Its not so much as a double standard, most guys will say they are doing something with a buddy, same as a friend.

My point is that females on this board nearly always state they did something with a girlfriend not with a gal friend .Therefore ,a male should be able to say he did something with a boyfriend but society does not allow that .
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:23 PM
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Henry,

I had to read your post several times, and then think deep about what I am use to saying. I say girlfriend all the time, but would never say boyfriend, so I guess I am guilty of what you say.

I am afraid that our language has evolved.
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:26 PM
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Default Exactly

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luanne Russo View Post
Henry,

I had to read your post several times, and then think deep about what I am used to saying. I say girlfriend all the time, but would never say boyfriend, so I guess I am guilty of what you say.

I am afraid that our language has evolved.
That was my point ,exactly .
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Old October 12th, 2010, 10:37 PM
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In HS my favorite work was Gay. "They sure are Gay today" Can't say it anymore without it meaning much more.
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Old October 13th, 2010, 05:29 AM
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Dave The Wave and I were just talking about this topic on our Cougar Cruise :: it seems ok if a group of women (4) share a cabin to save $$$$ but if 4 metro men shared a cabin there would be a conversation

to Henry's and Katlady's point, if you are married and say you are having lunch or doing an activity with a member of the opposite side, it might cause questions..I am single so I don't have that issue
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Old October 13th, 2010, 06:36 AM
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In NZ, so called boyfriend = mate!!!!
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Old October 13th, 2010, 08:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by venice View Post
Dave The Wave and I were just talking about this topic on our Cougar Cruise :: it seems ok if a group of women (4) share a cabin to save $$$$ but if 4 metro men shared a cabin there would be a conversation

to Henry's and Katlady's point, if you are married and say you are having lunch or doing an activity with a member of the opposite side, it might cause questions..I am single so I don't have that issue

I will soon be married 44 years .I have had female friends that I socialize with for close to 40 years .My wife has absolutely no problem with me going out to lunch ,dinner or spending time with my female friends .Its all a matter of trust .
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Old October 13th, 2010, 10:31 PM
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I have been married for almost (Oct. 26) 36 yrs. and I have several boy friends. For a couple of years I went out several times in the summer to baseball games with my friends. A different one each time. My husband hates baseball and I love it. I get 2 free tickets to the Blue Jays games right on the field at 1st base. He knows them all and is happy that he doesn't have to go. My best friend just died in Feb. He was a boy friend. His wife and my husband went out on a "date" when the 4 of us went to London England 3 yrs ago. My friend and I went out to a meeting. The two of them still talk about their "date". There is not question about trust. My best friend and I several years ago had to work on a project together and the only time the two of had was in the morning at my house. His wife is a good friend of mine as well and the two of us would never have done anything to hurt our spouses. Besides I have a husband that I am really happy with and the thought of complicating it with another person romantically just doesn't enter the picture.
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Old October 14th, 2010, 02:17 AM
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I use the term "gentleman" friend" when I am socializing with a male. That seems to confound everyone. My reasoning is that any male that I might be having dinner with are certainly to old to be referred to as "boy" friend."

Laura
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Old October 14th, 2010, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruznut2 View Post
I use the term "gentleman" friend" when I am socializing with a male. That seems to confound everyone. My reasoning is that any male that I might be having dinner with are certainly to old to be referred to as "boy" friend."

Laura
Or simply say friend
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