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Old July 21st, 2006, 06:52 PM
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Default Teen Dress Code

Our family (wife, me & three sons - 19, 17, & 15) is taking our first cruise at the end of this month. (Princess, Alaska, 7-day) I'll probably dress "down" with a dark suit for formal dinners and I wouldn't presume to get involved in my wife's choice(s).
Our oldest is definitely interested in joining as he enjoys the presentation of fine dining. The other two are less motivated but might attend. What is considered appropriate "formal" dress for boys in their age range? Is it the same as adults, or is a little more latitude permitted?
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Old July 21st, 2006, 08:41 PM
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If the boys don't have a suit, they can get by with a nice dress shirt/tie and slacks, nice shoes, no sneakers. Bet they look nice and will also enjoy the evening.
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Old July 22nd, 2006, 12:11 AM
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gwest12,

Our family (wife, me & three sons - 19, 17, & 15) is taking our first cruise at the end of this month. (Princess, Alaska, 7-day) I'll probably dress "down" with a dark suit for formal dinners and I wouldn't presume to get involved in my wife's choice(s).
Our oldest is definitely interested in joining as he enjoys the presentation of fine dining. The other two are less motivated but might attend. What is considered appropriate "formal" dress for boys in their age range? Is it the same as adults, or is a little more latitude permitted?


The official dress code for the boys is exactly the same as for adults. In practical reality, many ships do not enforce the prescribed standards of dress, but lack of enforcement does not mean that non-conformance is socially acceptable.

If your sons do not have dark suits, I recommend renting tuxedos or dinner jacket outfits for them for the formal evenings. Most tuxedo rental companies offer a "cruise package" consisting of the jacket and pants, two shirts, a cummerbund with matching tie, a vest with matching tie, and shoes for about $85 to $90 if you shop around a bit, and you might be able to negotiate a small discount from a local shop if you are renting three or four outfits. You also can arrange rentals through the ship; the cost will be slightly higher but you won't have to pack them. The ship delivers the outfits to your cabin on embarkation day and you simply leave the outfits behin when you depart.

For the five "casual" evenings, a shirt with a collar and a pair of slacks would be appropriate.

Have a great cruise!

Norm.
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Old July 22nd, 2006, 01:39 PM
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I don't think that renting tuxedoes for the boys is necessary at all. It is socially acceptable for them to dress less formally than that so long as they look nice.
Marty
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Old July 22nd, 2006, 11:10 PM
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Marty,

I don't think that renting tuxedoes for the boys is necessary at all. It is socially acceptable for them to dress less formally than that so long as they look nice.

Both traditional social ettiquette and the stated policy of the cruise lines say that children follow the same dress standards as adults.

If you find a widely accepted guidebook to social ettiqette that says otherwise please post the bibliographic citation. I would like to check it out.

Norm.
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Old July 23rd, 2006, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev22:17
Marty,

I don't think that renting tuxedoes for the boys is necessary at all. It is socially acceptable for them to dress less formally than that so long as they look nice.

Both traditional social ettiquette and the stated policy of the cruise lines say that children follow the same dress standards as adults.

If you find a widely accepted guidebook to social ettiqette that says otherwise please post the bibliographic citation. I would like to check it out.

Norm.
According to today's modern social ettiquette Donna & colorcrazie are correct.
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Old July 23rd, 2006, 01:51 PM
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Norm,
I did not learn etiquette from a book.
Marty
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Old July 23rd, 2006, 06:50 PM
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Marty,

I did not learn etiquette from a book.

That's pretty obvious.

* biting tongue in valiant effort to resist temptation to make comment about veracity of your sentence without the last three words *

Norm.
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Old July 23rd, 2006, 06:56 PM
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kookylabooka,

According to today's modern social ettiquette Donna & colorcrazie are correct.

No. Their comments reflect widespread practice of the socially ignorant rather than the practice of proper society.

And I must say that it is absolutely wonderful to see young men and young ladies dressed in "black tie" attire for formal evenings. Not only do they look sharp, but it is wonderful training in social etiquette.

Now, I'll grant you that actual practice varies widely from one cruise line to another. On Carnival, a lot of young men probably do wear dress shirts and neckties without jackets on "formal" evenings. On Celebrity, by contrast, most young people wear the prescribed attire.

Norm.
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Old July 23rd, 2006, 10:35 PM
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Rev22:17
People come to this forum for advice and info,NOT to be insulted in any way because their way of doing things does not agree with yours.Before you label people ignorant or insult them in any way take a look in the mirror first.
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Old July 24th, 2006, 01:45 PM
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personal attacks and bashing are not allowed nor will they be tolerated on this site.

Getting back to the original question. A suit jacket is preferred,but dark dress pants, a dress shirt/tie and dress shoes would do you just fine. The vast majority of teen young men on Princess will be wearing either suits or suit separates. You can pick up a decent suit coat fairly cheaply for your boys at your local Salvation Army, Goodwill, thrift or consignment shop. If you have a good friend or relative who is the same size as your boys, you might ask to borrow the jacket for the cruise.
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Old July 24th, 2006, 07:30 PM
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Lisa K. The rules on this board are enforced as much as the dress code on certain cruise ships. The personal attacks and bashing are constant and usually by the same person on the same topic. They are told it will not be tolerated and still it continues thread after thread. The same person who wants the dress code enforced to the letter continues to break the rules and get away with just a warning all the time!
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Old July 24th, 2006, 08:07 PM
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Both sides are correct:

Teenagers should adhere to the same dress code as adults but will be allowed a somewhat relaxed standard on almost all cruise lines.

You may discuss the topic but further comments directed towards individuals will result in the post being deleted.

Mike
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Old July 24th, 2006, 09:53 PM
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kookylabooka,

People come to this forum for advice and info,NOT to be insulted in any way because their way of doing things does not agree with yours.Before you label people ignorant or insult them in any way take a look in the mirror first.

Sorry for the delay in replying to this, but it seemed best to wait until I could provide a considered response that, I hope, is not inflammatory.

I'm trying to post accurate information in an area in which I have quite a bit of personal experience and have done a fair amount of research of authoritative references. I'm also human, so I undoubedly do that imperfectly at times. In my original post, I tried to state what's proper while also acknowledging that some cruise line may tolerate something else.

Under the circumstances, this post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by kookylabooka
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev22:17
Marty,

I don't think that renting tuxedoes for the boys is necessary at all. It is socially acceptable for them to dress less formally than that so long as they look nice.

Both traditional social ettiquette and the stated policy of the cruise lines say that children follow the same dress standards as adults.

If you find a widely accepted guidebook to social ettiqette that says otherwise please post the bibliographic citation. I would like to check it out.

Norm.
According to today's modern social ettiquette Donna & colorcrazie are correct.
pushed a few "buttons" that you probably did not intend to push, and I'll also admit that the reaction of the moment spilled into another reply (which I subsequently tempered considerably). I prefer to wait twenty-four hours before responding in such situations, but I'm also well aware that leaving such misinformation unchecked is a gross disservice to the original poster and to anybody else who might be reading the thread looking for the same answers, creating a need for an immediate response. The intent of my repsonse was to inform rather than to insult, even if it contained some unvarnished truth. No, tact is not exactly my forte, but at least people around me do know where they stand....

Anyway, perhaps you and anybody else who found my reference to "the socially ignorant" to be offensive can help me to respond in a way that you would find less offensive in the future. I can think of a lot of terms for people who don't conform to established norms of peroper ettiquette, but I would not exactly regard any of them as complements. Is there a term for people who fail to observe proper standards of dress and decrorum that you would deem to be less offensive? Or is "the socially ignorant" as uninsulting as it gets?

Norm.
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Old July 25th, 2006, 01:27 PM
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Norm, I have to ask this. If someone came to your table on formal night wearing dress slacks and a nice polo shirt, would you ask that he be removed , lecture him on his appearance, move to another table yourself the next night or simply dine with him for the remainder of your cruise.

Some of us socially ignorant and low class people simply do now feel comfortable in a coat and tie anytime. I wear a suit so that I will not be out of place, although I really hate to get dressed up. I have noticed on RCI, Princess and Carnival that more and more people are not wearing the suggested dress on formal nights.

Like many of the other people who do the main sitting, I do change into dress slacks and polo shirt for the remainder of the evening, though I realize that you would be offended by my appearance. The crowded show room and casino just get too hot for comfort.

Live and let live and you will live longer.
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Old July 25th, 2006, 05:10 PM
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Paul,

If someone came to your table on formal night wearing dress slacks and a nice polo shirt, would you ask that he be removed , lecture him on his appearance, move to another table yourself the next night or simply dine with him for the remainder of your cruise.

Honestly, a lot would depend upon the sort of relationship that was unfolding. More than likely, I would chat graciously through dinner and invite the attention of the ship's senior officers to the need to enforce dress codes in the dining room after the fact, either in person if the opportunity presented itself. I also would make note on the comment form. If the individual, seeing everybody else dressed, said something about not bringing formalwere and feeling out of place, I probably would mention -- and NOT in a condescending tone -- that the ship does have rental formalwear available for the next formal night.

That said, I should also point out that these discusson boards are a very different situation from what one does is somebody shows up in the wrong clothes aboard ship. People come here for information so that they won't be embarassed by showing up in the wrong clothing, so we serve them best by providing accurate information as to proper dress.

I wear a suit so that I will not be out of place, although I really hate to get dressed up.

That's appropriate, so long as the line's dress standard admits suits on formal evenings.

If you "really hate to get dressed up" (your words, not mine), though, you might want to look into the cruise lines that don't hold formal evenings -- and there are several. For example, Disney Cruise Line and Oceana Cruises are "resort casual" every evening and Norwegian Cruise Line now advertises "formal optional" evenings. Several of the coastal cruise lines also offer "all caaual" cruising. Any of these might be a better match than a line with "formal" evenings for which you would rather not dress.

I have noticed on RCI, Princess and Carnival that more and more people are not wearing the suggested dress on formal nights.

Then shame on them for not enforcing their standards.

Enforcement of rules aboard ship actually is a very serious issue because unenforced rules breed an attitude among the passengers and the crew that the rules and the authority behind the rules don't matter. In a real casualty situation, the passengers who decide that they don't have to go to their muster stations because it does not matter may well cause not only their own deaths but also the deaths of others areound them.

Like many of the other people who do the main sitting, I do change into dress slacks and polo shirt for the remainder of the evening, though I realize that you would be offended by my appearance. The crowded show room and casino just get too hot for comfort.

That practice is more accepted, or at least tolerated, on some lines than on others. On Celebrity, there's a line of staff at the entrance tot he show room on formal evenings greeting those who are properly dressed and turning away those who are not.

Some cruise lines are startign to enforce rules. It would be a gross disservice to give any advice other than conformance with the suggested dress published by the cruise line on these boards.

Norm.
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Old July 26th, 2006, 12:28 PM
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Paul,
You are not one of the "socially ignorant". In fact, you , and most people on this board, demonstrate the primary principle of social etiquette, which is courtesy!
Marty
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Old July 27th, 2006, 04:24 AM
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Default "casual" nights

I have no problem with what my 16yo son will wear on formal nights - dark navy suit, shirt and tie. Two night dressed up I can probably get out of him.

Question is how should he dress on casual nights - I know no shorts or t-shirts but is it OK for him to wear collared polo sirt and jeans(clean and not full of holes)? How about sneakers?

I really would like to mainly dine in dining room - I am looking forward to being served. So if he can wear sneakers and jeans that wish would more easily be accomplished.

Thanks for all you advice!

Happy cruising all!

S.
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Old July 27th, 2006, 09:14 AM
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suzy - check your particular cruise lines dress policy. Most state no jeans in the dining room during dinner hours. Khakis, Cargo or Dockers type pants are what the vast majority of men and boys wear. They are much cooler and more comfortable than heavy, denim in the hot Caribbean. You can pick up a couple of pairs of pants cheaply at Walmart or Kmart.
As for casual shoes, my guys wear either leather sandals, or casual boat shoes(again you can pick them up cheaply at Kmart or Walmart) and they don't have to wear socks with either type. Sneakers are for daytime excursions in our family.
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Old July 27th, 2006, 02:55 PM
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Thanks Lisa for you help.

Khakis we have - his school dress code is actally any kind of collared shirt and any pants except jeans so he mainly wears Khakis and collared polo shirts, so I guess that attire fits the bill for the casual nights.

Now about the footwear...he would not be caught dead in any kind of sandals, not even flip flops. I'll have to see if I can work on some kind of slip on shoe or else he will have to wear his black "school" shoes that we are bringing anyway for the formal nights.

Thanks agin.

S.
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Old July 28th, 2006, 10:07 AM
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S. glad to be of some help to you. Your son's school shoes would be just fine for any dinner. If he is comfortable wearing them, then don't worry about finding another pair of casual shoes, that's just one less thing to pack.
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