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  #1 (permalink)  
Old March 10th, 2007, 11:17 PM
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Default Dressing for Enchantment of the Seas formal night

My husband hates dressing up!! Is it ok for him to wear slacks and a button up long sleeve shirt. Does he have to wear a tie and a jacket?? Any info would greatly be appreciated. we leave in 6days.

Thanks,
Jessica
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Old March 11th, 2007, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: Dressing for Enchantment of the Seas formal night

Jessica,

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmorrison
My husband hates dressing up!! Is it ok for him to wear slacks and a button up long sleeve shirt. Does he have to wear a tie and a jacket?? Any info would greatly be appreciated. we leave in 6days.
The norms of social etiquette dictate that all passengers MUST conform to the standard of dress "suggested" or "requested" by the ship. Those who are not from mainstream North American culture may instead wear the equivalent attire of their culture. To do otherwise would be disrespectful toward the host (that is, the master of the vessel) and toward all other guests (the other passengers and the staff) who participate in the "formal" evening.

If your husband does not wish to dress for "formal" evenins during a cruise, there are plenty of alternatives available. Disney Cruises, Oceana Cruises, Windjammer Barefoot Cruises, and Cruise West do not hold "formal" evenings at all on their cruises. Also, Norwegian Cruise Line explicitly advertises "formal optional" evenings on which those who do not wish to dress do not have to dress. One or another of these lines would be a more suitable choice for your husband.

Norm.
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Old March 11th, 2007, 01:20 PM
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Since you are leaving in less than a week, I think that it is ridiculous to suggest that you change what cruise line you are going on just because one person is very adamant about people following the dress code.

While Norm is correct in the application of etiquette to formal engagements on land, most cruise lines state that the dress code is "suggested". A cruise is a different situation. What I might suggest, since my DH used to resist dressing up on vacation, is to pack a jacket and tie (I used to sneak them into my suitcase). Ease and tease him into it if you can. Most people are on the cruise to have fun. Only a few are looking around to see who isn't following thier set of rules. Ignore the fashion police, obey the real ones.
And here is the one rule you must follow...have fun!
Marty
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Old March 11th, 2007, 04:23 PM
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no he doesnt he can wear what he wants . a nice dress pant suit will be fine my husband doesnt do ties either so he will be wearing a nice suit but no tie. have fun dont worry whta other say . somepeople think we dont show respect if we dont wear proper attire thats not true.
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Old March 11th, 2007, 08:45 PM
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Marty,

Quote:
Originally Posted by colorcrazie
Since you are leaving in less than a week, I think that it is ridiculous to suggest that you change what cruise line you are going on just because one person is very adamant about people following the dress code.
You're right. I missed that detail in the OP.

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
While Norm is correct in the application of etiquette to formal engagements on land, most cruise lines state that the dress code is "suggested". A cruise is a different situation.
The use of terms such as "suggested" or "requested" in relation to dress for an event is strictly a traditional courtesy. These terms absolutely do NOT imply that one has the option of doing otherwise. Rather, the established norms of social etiquette dictate that ALL guests at a function must follow such "suggested" or "requested" dress.

Unfortunately, there are so many people who don't comprehend this basic fact of life that some cruise lines have now replaced words such as "suggestted" or "requested" in with "required" in their publication of dress standards. Nonetheless, this change in wording does not alter the meaning of the published standard of dress. It's actually required by social etiquette in any case.

Norm.
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Old March 11th, 2007, 08:51 PM
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cruisingfrompa,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
no he doesnt he can wear what he wants . a nice dress pant suit will be fine my husband doesnt do ties either so he will be wearing a nice suit but no tie. have fun dont worry whta other say . somepeople think we dont show respect if we dont wear proper attire thats not true.
You are right in saying that the position that people who don't wear proper attire fail to show respect is not true. Rather, it's much worse. Failure to wear the "suggested" or "requested" attire shows blatant contempt for the host (in this case, the master of the vessel) and all of the other guests (paasengers and staff).

Norm.
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Old March 11th, 2007, 09:53 PM
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The use of terms such as "suggested" or "requested" in relation to dress for an event is strictly a traditional courtesy. These terms absolutely do NOT imply that one has the option of doing otherwise.

Yes they do.Suggested or requested do not have the same defintion as required.Read the definitions of all three words in a dictionary.
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Old March 12th, 2007, 01:29 PM
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Oh dear here we go again!
Norm is totally correct when he mentions that blatant disregard for the dress code just because the words "suggested or requested" instead of "required" are used is showing disrespect for your host and for your fellow cruisers. Its all about social etiquette and traditions. The cruise lines assume that most people know that and respect it.
We use the classic example of what would you wear if you received a wedding invitation that stated "formal or blacktie" on the invitation?
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Old March 12th, 2007, 06:42 PM
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kookylabooka,

Quote:
Originally Posted by I
The use of terms such as "suggested" or "requested" in relation to dress for an event is strictly a traditional courtesy. These terms absolutely do NOT imply that one has the option of doing otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Yes they do.Suggested or requested do not have the same defintion as required.Read the definitions of all three words in a dictionary.
Really???

Suppose your boss were to say, "I suggest that you finish Task A before working on Task B." Would you construe that to be optional?

Suppose your boss were to call you on the intercom and say, "Would you please come to my office." Would you take such a "request" to mean that it's optional, or even that you can go at your leisure?

I'll grant you that the words "request," "suggest," and "require" do have distinct definitions in Webster's Dictionary. Nonetheless, the implication of many terms depends upon context -- and these words are no exception. When a person in authority (the master of the vessel) uses such terms to a person subject to his or her authority (anybody else embarked aboard the vessel), compliance with the "request" or "suggestion" is no more optional than compliance with a "request" or "suggestion" from your boss. And this is the case with dress standards on a cruise ship.

Even in normal social situations, however, social etiquette dictates that all guests at a social function must wear whatever attire the host(ess) might "request" for the event. To do otherwise is extremely rude, exhibiting contempt toward the host(ess) and the other guests. If you don't believe this, I invite you to read what any manual of social etiquette says about dress for social functions.

Norm.
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Old March 12th, 2007, 06:59 PM
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LisaK,

Quote:
We use the classic example of what would you wear if you received a wedding invitation that stated "formal or blacktie" on the invitation?
<tongue planted firmly in cheek> Obviously they would wear tattered bluejeans, a chambray shirt, a black bolo tie, a denim jacket, athletic socks that once were white, and sneakers. That is "black tie," isn't it??? </tongue planted firmly in cheek>

Let me share an anecdote that you might find to be somewhat amusing. On another web site, another poster responded to one of my posts on proper dress by asking if I should change my handle to "Matt25:32" when this subject comes up. Totally confused as to how Matthew 25:32 fit into the discussion, I asked if the other poster really meant "Matt22:11-13" instead. The other poster replied that "Matt22:11-13" is even more fitting.

Norm.
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Old March 13th, 2007, 08:55 AM
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good one Norm!
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Old March 14th, 2007, 09:55 AM
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When Jesus walk the earth he walked wiith those of lesser values of monetary desire . Remember richness isnt the amount of money you have its whats in your heart. Jesus loves me for who i am not for who people want me to be.

So if you wear clothes to fit your life style and your amount you have in your pocket thats ok.


Though you can go to thrift stores and find nice dress suits for moen and men and i aint afraid to admit i will do that for our Cruise. I mean on casual nights it will be ok for normal jeans and nices shirts but i will be all dressed up for formal night after all my husband and i havent been dressed up since our wedding 20 yrs ago so it will be fun
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Old March 14th, 2007, 01:02 PM
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cruisingfrompa,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Though you can go to thrift stores and find nice dress suits for moen and men and i aint afraid to admit i will do that for our Cruise.
I agree completely. There's absolutely no need to spend a fortune on formalwear. A nice dress purchased at a thrift store is absolutely fine, so long as it is in good condition, and consignment shops are an equally good source of somewhat less used articles. A lot of very rich ladies will buy a dress, wear it once, and sell it for sale at a fraction of its original price. But you probably already have an outfit that would be quite acceptable in your closet for wear to weddings, funerals, office Christmas parties, and other similar events.

Also, for gentlemen, tuxedo rental shops often sell items that they have rented only a few times at greatly reduced prices. Since they rent formalwear primarily for wedding parties and other situations in which the outfits must match perfectly, they cannot rent items that may have faded even very slightly from a few cleanings. Cruising, OTOH, is a completely different situation. There's no need to match somebody else wearing the same style, so such slight fading does not matter.

There are also stores throughout most of the country that specialize in liquidation of insurance salvage, manufacturers' overruns, and other merchandise obtained for much less than normal wholesale prices, like the "Building 19" chain here in eastern Massachusetts and Railroad Salvage (if it's still in business) in Connecticut. Many of these outfits sell brand new formalwear at greatly reduced prices whenever it comes their way, but you have to buy it when they have it because they don't always have it.

Norm.
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Old March 14th, 2007, 02:18 PM
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Real class is in how you act and it sounds like you are right on target!
Cheers
Marty
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Old March 15th, 2007, 09:40 AM
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Jessica another point that you might want to consider is that the Maitre D has the right to turn you away from his dining room if he deems that you are not dressed appropriately for the evening. The instances although rare have occured. Your man should have at the very LEAST a sports jacket, dress shirt,dress pants, dress shoes for formal nights in the main dining rooms.
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Old March 15th, 2007, 09:44 AM
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Now when you mean dress shoes can men wear a nice pair of dressy cowboy boots instead of the dressy shoes just a ?
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Old March 15th, 2007, 12:19 PM
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cruisingfrompa,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Now when you mean dress shoes can men wear a nice pair of dressy cowboy boots instead of the dressy shoes just a ?
Hmmm....

I would not go there, but....

Local cultural equivalents to the prescribed attire are generally acceptable. I suppose if you are from Teh-ECK-sus, a pair of spit-shined black cowboy boots might be the local cultural equivalent of black dress shoes....

The best indicator: do boys at your local high schools wear such boots to their senior proms?

Norm.
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Old March 19th, 2007, 10:16 AM
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Norm,

If I'm not mistaken....some southern boys have "dress" jeans and "dress" cowboy boots! Some of those boots cost more than a really nice cocktail dress!
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Old March 19th, 2007, 01:10 PM
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Some of those boots can cost more than a cruise!
Marty
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Old March 19th, 2007, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mstill
Norm,

If I'm not mistaken....some southern boys have "dress" jeans and "dress" cowboy boots! Some of those boots cost more than a really nice cocktail dress!
Hmmm....

Actually, I doubt that the boots cost more than the model wearing the dress, yet it's the model who makes the dress shine!

Norm.
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Old March 19th, 2007, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev22:17
cruisingfrompa,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Now when you mean dress shoes can men wear a nice pair of dressy cowboy boots instead of the dressy shoes just a ?
Hmmm....

I would not go there, but....

Local cultural equivalents to the prescribed attire are generally acceptable. I suppose if you are from Teh-ECK-sus, a pair of spit-shined black cowboy boots might be the local cultural equivalent of black dress shoes....

The best indicator: do boys at your local high schools wear such boots to their senior proms?

Norm.

Well I was the chaperone at my daugters prom and you would not believe it but the Girls wore RubberFlipFlops as there dress shoes. And ther were some boys there who dressed like dumb and dumber so I let you firgure it out. Todays teens and most of there parents are dressing with the more casual dress look.
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Old March 19th, 2007, 11:48 PM
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Norm... Teh Eck Sus? You are so wrong with that

Some of Texas boys have a brain cell

However this Texas boy agrees with you and I enjoy dressing up for formal affairs and I think this ladies husband should at least give her the courtesy of at least wearing a tie for about three hours on one evening. My father, R.I.P., disliked dressing up but at least he would honor my mother, R.I.P., and wear a suit and tie for her on occassion. The suit was a western suit and looked fine with his cowboy boots that he wore all the time.
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Old March 20th, 2007, 12:04 AM
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Mehawk,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Norm... Teh Eck Sus? You are so wrong with that
Sorry. It was just an attempt to reproduce the accent phonetically....

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Some of Texas boys have a brain cell
Yes, and you all gave us a great President!

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
However this Texas boy agrees with you and I enjoy dressing up for formal affairs and I think this ladies husband should at least give her the courtesy of at least wearing a tie for about three hours on one evening. My father, R.I.P., disliked dressing up but at least he would honor my mother, R.I.P., and wear a suit and tie for her on occassion. The suit was a western suit and looked fine with his cowboy boots that he wore all the time.
Well, I think that Humoring Mom is the wrong reason for Dad to don a suit. The right reason, quite simply, is that it's the right thing to do on that occasion....

But your parents prove a point. A smart woman can get a reluctant guy to do the right thing. Not only that, but she can even have him looking forward to it if she plays her cards right!

Norm.
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Old March 20th, 2007, 10:12 PM
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Norm, yep, Dwight D. Eisenhower was a great President who was from Texas!
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Old March 20th, 2007, 10:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mehawk
Norm... Teh Eck Sus? You are so wrong with that

Some of Texas boys have a brain cell

However this Texas boy agrees with you and I enjoy dressing up for formal affairs and I think this ladies husband should at least give her the courtesy of at least wearing a tie for about three hours on one evening. My father, R.I.P., disliked dressing up but at least he would honor my mother, R.I.P., and wear a suit and tie for her on occassion. The suit was a western suit and looked fine with his cowboy boots that he wore all the time.
You know what I dont want my husband to dress up it wouldnt make me feel better about myself it would make me feel that he is a fake when he dresses up I love Him For what He is and I thats that. Talk to several friensd and they told him to be himself and to wear casual clothes if he wants to
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Old May 5th, 2007, 01:56 PM
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Well I got to admit after reading all this I have changed my mind and so has my husband Since he says it will be a special opccasion for us he is planning on wear a Dress Pants and nice dress shirt with a tie of course it will be a black out fit as thats his favotite color. Thanks For all the advice its seems like its worth it to DRESS UP FOR ONE NIGHT>
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Old May 5th, 2007, 02:03 PM
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Glad to hear of the change in plans. It really is fun to dress up for formal nights. Creates a special occasion.
Enjoy!
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Old May 5th, 2007, 02:56 PM
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Yeah After all we were going through a tough time when i posted some info later now that i have gottem though it i am glad we changed are plans. It has been rough here the last 4 weeks i started a new job and my mother in law passed away on the 6th of april and my mom was in out of the hospital about the same time. I was going crazy I sure cant waith till our Curise to get away and relax. We all need it.
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Old May 7th, 2007, 09:56 PM
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cruisingfrompa,

Quote:
Originally Posted by You
Yeah After all we were going through a tough time when i posted some info later now that i have gottem though it i am glad we changed are plans. It has been rough here the last 4 weeks i started a new job and my mother in law passed away on the 6th of april and my mom was in out of the hospital about the same time. I was going crazy I sure cant waith till our Curise to get away and relax. We all need it.
Yes, that is quite a lot to have on your plate in a very short time. I'm especially sorry to hear that you lost your MIL. I hope that you have smooth sailing until your cruise!

Norm.
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Old May 7th, 2007, 10:04 PM
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Thanks Norm
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