Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs
Register Forgot Password?

Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs Share cruise trivia or jokes: Registered Users Only

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old May 1st, 2007, 04:11 PM
mteague's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Posts: 4,806
Send a message via Yahoo to mteague
Default Job Description

MOM – JOB DESCRIPTION

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, no one would have done it!!!!
POSITION:
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES ES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars, and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life.

Forward this on to all the Moms you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.
__________________
If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance!
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Reply

Bookmarks

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How to get a job? tea Ask CruiseMates Staff 1 April 5th, 2009 06:59 PM
Dumb question about cabin description Rcruzin Norwegian Cruise Lines 1 August 30th, 2006 11:21 AM
Looking for job Kuma A Crewmembers 12 May 10th, 2005 03:23 PM
I`m looking for a job.... Szilvia Molnar Crewmembers 0 May 4th, 2005 02:27 PM
Description... Cruisechic2005 Alaska 4 May 10th, 2004 01:51 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:31 AM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1