Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs
Register Forgot Password?

Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs Share cruise trivia or jokes: Registered Users Only

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old June 28th, 2007, 11:18 AM
Junior Member
Passenger
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Rockville,Md
Posts: 25
Send a message via Yahoo to Lyn_N
Default Husbands will love this one

A woman came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman.
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me
a
faithful wife, the mother of your children? I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce straight away!"

And he replied: "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you
what happened"
"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed," but they'll be the last words you'll say
to me!"
And he began:

"Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady
here
asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I
took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very
thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't
eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and
warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you
wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor
thing
devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested
a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty
and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too
tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present,
which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy
blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to
annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive
boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like
them..."

He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my
understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me
with tears in her eyes and said

"Please........do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
__________________
...it doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh...

BOOKED CRUISES
Carnival Freedom 10/2007 (14-day TransAtlantic)


PAST CRUISES
Carnival Carnivale
Carnival Jubilee
Carnival Fantasy(x3)
Carnival Pride
Carnival Ecstacy
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old June 30th, 2007, 01:47 PM
mehawk's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Houston aka Space City, Texas, USA
Posts: 9,687
Default

oofff...
__________________
Michael

Cruised more times than I can remember.

Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

Courage and perserverance have a magical talisman; before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into the air.

Pick your company wisely! Hang around people who are going to help you become all God created you to be.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 12:02 PM
CROOOOZIN's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA
Posts: 1,528
Default



Worth the bump

__________________
TOM



CARNIVAL GLORY 4/2007
CARNIVAL INSPIRATION 8/2008
CARNIVAL GLORY 7/2009
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 12:42 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Leaveavenworth, Ks
Posts: 2,481
Default

Ouch!!
__________________
Bahama-momma
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 01:03 PM
katlady's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: On the lido deck with drink of the day
Posts: 12,953
Default

Hey I think I found a picture of that guy. He looks better than I expected.
__________________
One part age; three parts liquor!

Freedom of the Seas 2012
Carnival Splendor 2010
Carnival Freedom 2008
Carnival Elation 2007
Celebrity Infinity 2006
Carnival Ecstasy 2005
Carnival Paradise 2004
Star Princess 2002
Viking Serenade 1994
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 01:44 PM
CROOOOZIN's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA
Posts: 1,528
Default

Oh that's all that happened? It might be worth it to some.
__________________
TOM



CARNIVAL GLORY 4/2007
CARNIVAL INSPIRATION 8/2008
CARNIVAL GLORY 7/2009
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 03:14 PM
thecruisequeen's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,287
Default

Thanks for the bump CROOOZIN I did not read this one before!
__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 03:23 PM
katlady's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: On the lido deck with drink of the day
Posts: 12,953
Default

Crooozin the remaining injury you can see. His wife was Lorena Bobbitt.
__________________
One part age; three parts liquor!

Freedom of the Seas 2012
Carnival Splendor 2010
Carnival Freedom 2008
Carnival Elation 2007
Celebrity Infinity 2006
Carnival Ecstasy 2005
Carnival Paradise 2004
Star Princess 2002
Viking Serenade 1994
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 08:03 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Posts: 19,566
Default



TM
__________________
CRUISES
Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011
Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013 Top-notch!
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 08:23 PM
CROOOOZIN's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA
Posts: 1,528
Default

You're welcome CQ

Kat...You are crazy
__________________
TOM



CARNIVAL GLORY 4/2007
CARNIVAL INSPIRATION 8/2008
CARNIVAL GLORY 7/2009
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 10:53 PM
crazysis's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: sacramento, ca
Posts: 2,862
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by katlady
Crooozin the remaining injury you can see. His wife was Lorena Bobbitt.
it his wife was lorena bobbitt then the girl could have just taken it home and returned it later since it was deattachable.
__________________


Read and post cruise reviews
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old April 3rd, 2008, 11:49 PM
BigE11378's Avatar
Senior Member
Captain
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 602
Send a message via Yahoo to BigE11378
Default

i wonder if crazy glue would work?
__________________
Eric Trautmann
Home Lines Doric 78, Oceanic, Homeric 85,Celebrity Horizon, Zenith,NCl Pride of America 05 (Honeymoon), Spirit 09-30-06,NCL Gem 12-29-07,NCL Spirit 5-17-08
NCL Dawn 7-27-08,NCL Sky 7-3-09
NCL Dawn Sept 20,2009
NCL Jewel
Pride Of America
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old April 4th, 2008, 12:53 AM
crazysis's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: sacramento, ca
Posts: 2,862
Default

velcro! you can just take it off, use it, then put it back. the human vib......
__________________


Read and post cruise reviews
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
cruise, husband, love, tiltover

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Wives ,husbands ,etc . Lakers Fan Chit - Chat for Cruisers 7 August 31st, 2010 11:25 AM
My husbands first cruise and he didn't like it jackieb All Things Cruising 19 December 29th, 2008 12:03 PM
You will love this.................... kimmiegirl Chit - Chat for Cruisers 8 February 4th, 2006 09:19 PM
Safety tip for Husbands... js2003 Chit - Chat for Cruisers 8 April 15th, 2005 04:48 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:59 PM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1