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Old October 1st, 2007, 03:36 PM
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Default little old lady

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: 'Is there a problem, Officer?'
Officer: 'Ma'am, you were speeding.'
Older Woman: 'Oh, I see.'
Officer: 'Can I see your license please?'
Older Woman: 'I'd give it to you but I don't have one.'
Officer: 'Don't have one? '
Older Woman: 'Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. '
Officer: 'I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. '
Older Woman: 'I can't do that. '
Officer: 'Why not? '
Older Woman: 'I stole this car. '
Officer: 'Stole it? '
Older Woman: 'Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.'
Officer: 'You what? '
Older Woman: 'His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.'
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: 'Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!' The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: 'Is there a problem sir?'
Officer 2: 'One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.'
Older Woman: 'Murdered the owner? '
Officer 2: 'Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please.'
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: 'Is this your car, ma'am?'
Older Woman: 'Yes, here are the registration papers.' The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: 'One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.'
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver's license and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: 'Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.'
Older Woman: 'Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.'
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
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Old October 2nd, 2007, 12:44 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Houston aka Space City, Texas, USA
Posts: 9,718


Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

Courage and perserverance have a magical talisman; before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into the air.

Pick your company wisely! Hang around people who are going to help you become all God created you to be.
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Old December 16th, 2007, 10:12 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Posts: 24,090

Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011+4/4/2016
Independence 12/29/13
Vision OTS 2-14-2015
Freedom OTS 3/6/16
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