Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs
Register Forgot Password?

Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs Share cruise trivia or jokes: Registered Users Only

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old October 15th, 2008, 09:48 PM
rinker250's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Posts: 2,881
Default Anger management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you
know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'


Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an a**hole!' and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'a**hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.


Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an a**hole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'a**hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.

I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'


He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an a**hole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first a**hole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW a**hole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is.' I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front.'



I asked, 'What's your name?ยข


He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'


I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'


He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'


I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'


He said, 'Yes?'


I said, 'Don, you're an a**hole!' Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.


Now, when I had a problem, I had two a**holes to call. Then I came up with an idea.

I called a**hole #1.


He said, 'Hello.'



I said, 'You're an a**hole!' (But I didn't hang up.)


He asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah!'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'


I said, 'Make me!'


He asked, 'Who are you?'


I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'


He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'


I said, 'a**hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, a**hole,' and hung up.

Then I called a**hole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, a**hole,'

He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'

He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your a**!'

I answered, 'Well, a**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two a**holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
__________________
Dan
Peace through superior firepower.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old October 16th, 2008, 08:50 AM
skymaster's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 10,912
Default

Yep,,,there are certainly times when that would make me feel MUCH better. I'm going to start my A*Hole list right now!

Ken
"SKY"
__________________
Marine, Pilot, Singer, Tuba Player, Carnival "Diamond"!
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old November 10th, 2008, 10:39 AM
CruiseNOID's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 1,341
Send a message via Yahoo to CruiseNOID
Default

Nice one. I think my a**hole list would be way to long to do any good for me.
__________________
Amber








Carnival Inspiration 8/2009
Carnival Fascination 8/2008
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old November 11th, 2008, 12:54 AM
mehawk's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Houston aka Space City, Texas, USA
Posts: 9,687
Default

WOW!
__________________
Michael

Cruised more times than I can remember.

Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

Courage and perserverance have a magical talisman; before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into the air.

Pick your company wisely! Hang around people who are going to help you become all God created you to be.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
anger, cruise, management, managment

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Anger Management ScurvyDog Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 2 February 24th, 2009 08:32 PM
Don't anger your wife adias.angel Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 6 September 2nd, 2007 11:36 PM
Anger Management really does work. Cruznut2 Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 4 May 5th, 2007 12:58 AM
Stress Management mteague Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs 0 May 1st, 2007 04:32 PM
NCL Management Larry Norwegian Cruise Lines 3 August 28th, 2001 12:23 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:42 PM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1