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  #1 (permalink)  
Old January 5th, 2009, 05:37 PM
rinker250's Avatar
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These are the Guys' Rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1) Men are NOT mind readers.

1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You Don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1) Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the change of the tides. Let It Be.

1) Shopping is NOT a sport. And NO, we are NEVER going to think of it that way.

1) Crying is BLACKMAIL.

1) Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints DO NOT WORK. Strong hints DO NOT WORK. Obvious hints DO NOT WORK. JUST SAY IT.

1) YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1) Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a PROBLEM. SEE A DOCTOR.

1) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, ALL comments become null and void after 7 days.

1) If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret Girls, DON'T expect us to act like Soap Opera Guys.

1) If you think you are fat, you probably are. DON'T ASK US.

1) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE.

1) You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commericals.

1) Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and NEITHER DO WE.

1) ALL men see in ONLY 16 COLORS, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. Pumkin is ALSO A FRUIT. WE have NO IDEA what Mauve is.

1) If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

1) If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING" we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, EXPECT an answer you don't want to hear.

1) When we have to go somewhere, ABSOLUTELY anything you wear is fine...really.

1) Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, cars, or sex.


1) You have TOO MANY SHOES.

1) I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1) Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? Its like camping.
Peace through superior firepower.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old January 5th, 2009, 07:25 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Posts: 24,276

Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011+4/4/2016
Independence 12/29/13
Vision OTS 2-14-2015
Freedom OTS 3/6/16
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old January 5th, 2009, 07:38 PM
green_rd's Avatar
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Location: Indianapolis (USA)
Posts: 6,691

Don't tell the DW but that's funny 8)

All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by; John Masefield
Carnival: Glory 2004, Destiny 2008, Splendor 2009, Freedom 2011, Valor 2012, Dream 2013
Celebrity: Summit 2011
Princess: Ruby 2010, 2014, Caribbean 2013, Coral 2014, Regal 2014, 2016, 2018
Sail Windjammer: Mandalay 2017
Star Clippers: Royal Clipper 2015
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Old January 6th, 2009, 08:06 AM
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Location: Central Florida
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I have to say, I agree with about 95%,,,HMMM,,,make that 99 1/2% of those. Very good indeed.....

Marine, Pilot, Singer, Tuba Player, Carnival "Diamond"!
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Old January 6th, 2009, 09:51 AM
rinker250's Avatar
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All based on our love of the ladies.
Peace through superior firepower.
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Old January 6th, 2009, 09:15 PM
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I especially agree with no. 1.[/i]
Ray McDonald / Snoozeman

My Personal Cruise Blog: My Cruise Blog
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Old January 6th, 2009, 09:23 PM
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Location: Asheville NC
Posts: 682

Great advise! Would you forward that to my girl??
Disney Wonder
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