Best joke ever heard on board??

[upsman1986]

Please share the best ever jokes from fellow cruisers .

[gottacruise@juno.com]

Not sure if this is a joke, but a fellow passenger asked me if the crew stayed on the ship over night.

[spencercoop]

Originally Posted by gottacruise@juno.com

Not sure if this is a joke, but a fellow passenger asked me if the crew stayed on the ship over night.

Yeah I have heard that on the top 10 jokes that the cruise director tells.

[katlady]

I heard the comedian on board Carnival say something similar to the quote below.

The toilets say "no bulky items" then they feed you 24/7. Bulky items are going in the toilet.

[ragtiki2005]

How about what time is the midnight buffet? Bob

[skymaster]

Or old reliable: Does this elevator go to the front or the back of the ship?

Ken
"SKY"

[Dave the Wave]

Is the water in the toilets fresh water or salt water?

I don't know, I never tasted it.

[Manuel]

How about (does the ship generate it's own electricity ? )

TM

[skymaster]

What do you do with those ice sculptures after they melt?

[seadog2]

Originally Posted by Dave the Wave

Is the water in the toilets fresh water or salt water?

I don't know, I never tasted it.

One cruise director gave two reasons why you should not drink the water from the toilets, #1 and #2.

[skymaster]

What religion are all those people who have that little sticker behind their ear????

[kandajones]

Not a joke, but a true story which still makes us smile when we think about it.
It took place at the Lifeboat/Safety Drill. This old lady wanders in, and was obviously well known to the crew & the Cruise Director (Hughie) bounded up to her to see how she was, and they met just behind where we were sat.

The conversation was along the lines of ....

CD: Hello there, how lovely to see you back on board, how are you?
Lady: Oh I'm wonderful, but I've lost my husband.
CD: Oh I'm terribly sorry to hear that, how long ago did he pass away
Lady: He's not dead, I've just lost him somewhere on the ship!

The CD then turned away and all you could see as he walked back to the stage were his shoulders bouncing up & down as he tried to stilfe his laughter.

What a great thing the English language is

Alan & Katrina

[C-Tiger]

The two that I enjoyed (and can remember) are:

Do you know why Irish bean soup only has 239 beans in it?
Because if you add one more it makes it "too fartey".

AND

I think your butt must be asleep.
Why.
Because I heard it snoring.

Hey, you pay your money and take your chances.

[Dave the Wave]

Originally Posted by ragtiki2005

How about what time is the midnight buffet? Bob

That is a good one!