60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens.
50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in
40 above zero: Import cars won't start. Minnesotans drive with the sunroof
32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.
20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens.
Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in
Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.
10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . Minnesotans dig their
winter coats out of storage.
25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Minnesota still
selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero: Washington , D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in
Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset
because the Mini-Van won't start.
460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota can be heard
to say, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools open 2 hours