Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs
Register Forgot Password?

Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs Share cruise trivia or jokes: Registered Users Only

View Poll Results: Should this kid be kicked off the bus?
Yes, it is disgusting and he should be ashamed. 0 0%
No, it is quite normal and also funny to teenagers. 14 100.00%
Voters: 14. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #31 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 04:17 PM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

It could be worse, read this.

Student kicked off bus for passing gas






LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) -- A Lakeland eighth-grader has been suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas.

The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that 15-year-old Jonathan Locke Jr. was passing gas on the bus Monday to make the other children laugh, creating a stench so bad that it was difficult to breathe. The bus driver handed Locke the suspension form the next day.

Polk County school officials say there's no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.

Locke says he wasn't the one passing gas.

Whether he did it or not, he might have gotten off easy. A 13-year-old student at a Stuart school was arrested in November after authorities said he broke wind in class.
---

Information from: The Ledger, http://www.theledger.com
__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #32 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 06:00 PM
skymaster's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 10,922
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecruisequeen
Quote:
Originally Posted by skymaster
Probably a lot of fun on a date.....

Ken
"SKY"
If you can stand the smell??
That's what clothes pins are for isn't it?

Ken
"SKY"
__________________
Marine, Pilot, Singer, Tuba Player, Carnival "Diamond"!
Reply With Quote
  #33 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 08:09 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by skymaster
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecruisequeen
Quote:
Originally Posted by skymaster
Probably a lot of fun on a date.....

Ken
"SKY"
If you can stand the smell??
That's what clothes pins are for isn't it?

Ken
"SKY"
Yes you are right Sky!!
__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #34 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 08:36 PM
rinker250's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Posts: 2,881
Default

I was thinking a cork!!!
__________________
Dan
Peace through superior firepower.
Reply With Quote
  #35 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 09:04 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New
York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets
into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She
turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by
Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator,
and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying,
"Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her
destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before
she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then
bends over and farts and says ... "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."



__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #36 (permalink)  
Old March 20th, 2009, 10:03 PM
rinker250's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Posts: 2,881
Default

I love broccoli...until now!!!
__________________
Dan
Peace through superior firepower.
Reply With Quote
  #37 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:03 AM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #38 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:05 AM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

Any one remember the Pink Panther movie when Inspector Clouseau farts in the elevator?

__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #39 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:13 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Any one remember the Pink Panther movie when Inspector Clouseau farts in the elevator?



__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #40 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:14 AM
Pocono Pug's Avatar
Senior Member
Captain
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Pocono Mountains PA
Posts: 665
Send a message via Yahoo to Pocono Pug
Default

What is a fart?

A fart is a piece of crap honking for the right of way
__________________
Carnival Inspiration


Monarch of the Seas 3-92
Celebrity Century 7-96
Dawn Princess 2-97
Enchantment of the Seas 11-98
Rhapsody of the Seas 8-99
CCL Inspiration 8-08, 8-11
CCL Valor 1-09
CCL Glory 11-09
Reply With Quote
  #41 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:15 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

Good Morning Fart Gang!!!

I wish everyone a wonderful day filled with Quality Farts!!!

__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #42 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 11:48 AM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

http://www.fart-joke.com/farts_at_work.htm

A MAN WITH A PASSION
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively effect on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home.

So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but also ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it.

Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #43 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 01:13 PM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #44 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 01:39 PM
rinker250's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Posts: 2,881
Default

Fart

You are blonde and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud.

So every time you fart, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus

Everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realize. ............





You're listening to your IPod !
__________________
Dan
Peace through superior firepower.
Reply With Quote
  #45 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 01:43 PM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #46 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 01:53 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

The IPod's are trouble!!
__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #47 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 01:54 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave

__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #48 (permalink)  
Old March 21st, 2009, 10:02 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

I don't want to ride a cruise ship elevator with this guy 8)

__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #49 (permalink)  
Old March 22nd, 2009, 12:34 AM
Senior Member
Captain
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 598
Default

I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????
__________________

Disney Wonder
RCCL Serenade of the Seas
Reply With Quote
  #50 (permalink)  
Old March 24th, 2009, 12:52 PM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by WildRover
I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????
What makes you think girls don't do this too? Cruise Queen has.
__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
  #51 (permalink)  
Old March 24th, 2009, 12:56 PM
rinker250's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Posts: 2,881
Default

A guy did the fart lighting in gym class when I was in Junior High.

Unfortunatly for him he was buck naked (no U-trou) so all the hair was burned away, too!!!
__________________
Dan
Peace through superior firepower.
Reply With Quote
  #52 (permalink)  
Old March 24th, 2009, 01:58 PM
Senior Member
Captain
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 598
Default

But discovered? Had to be done by a guy. I don't think girls sit around wondering if farts are flammable. Probably back in the cave man days when they had a lot of time on their hands so to speak. Must've been great entertainment!
__________________

Disney Wonder
RCCL Serenade of the Seas
Reply With Quote
  #53 (permalink)  
Old March 24th, 2009, 08:34 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 11,302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildRover
I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????
What makes you think girls don't do this too? Cruise Queen has.
Speedo King are you spreading rumors about me AGAIN!! :o
__________________
CQ's Cruise Resume

Vision Of The Seas
Independence Of The Seas
Allure Of The Seas
Carnival Breeze
Oasis Of The Seas x3
Liberty Of The Seas x4
Freedom Of The Seas x3
Navigator Of The Seas x2
Explorer Of The Seas x2
Voyager Of The Seas
Enchantment Of The Seas
Rhapsody Of The Seas
Majesty Of The Seas
Monarch Of The Seas
Sovereign Of The Seas
Celebrity Mercury
Carnival Victory
Reply With Quote
  #54 (permalink)  
Old March 25th, 2009, 10:41 AM
Dave the Wave's Avatar
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: St Petersburg, Florida
Posts: 6,349
Send a message via MSN to Dave the Wave Send a message via Yahoo to Dave the Wave
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecruisequeen
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave the Wave
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildRover
I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????
What makes you think girls don't do this too? Cruise Queen has.
Speedo King are you spreading rumors about me AGAIN!! :o
Just something I heard.....
__________________
Dave the Wave AKA- Diamond Dave


Read and post cruise reviews

Song of America Dec '90
Starship Majestic May '89
Sovereign X 5
Majesty Jul '01
Enchantment X 4
Regal Empress Dec '02
Sensation '04
Mariner May '07 April '08
Grandeur Feb '08
Inspiration Oct '08
Radiance of the Seas Oct '10
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
beans, blue, bus, canada, eats, fart, flatulence, gas, jack, law, ohio, powered, public, robin, sam, smell, switchblade, williams

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Joke Luanne Russo Chit - Chat for Cruisers 1 April 28th, 2006 05:37 PM
Another joke... rollerdonna Chit - Chat for Cruisers 4 August 18th, 2004 12:19 AM
First a joke PapaBill Chit - Chat for Cruisers 2 May 24th, 2004 09:17 AM
Another Joke JDeSimone Chit - Chat for Cruisers 5 April 22nd, 2004 10:35 PM
OT- JOKE Carole and Johnny Chit - Chat for Cruisers 7 October 31st, 2002 09:26 AM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:28 AM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1