This is not a joke!

[Dave the Wave]

It could be worse, read this.

Student kicked off bus for passing gas






LAKELAND, Fla. (AP) -- A Lakeland eighth-grader has been suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas.

The bus driver wrote on a misbehavior form that 15-year-old Jonathan Locke Jr. was passing gas on the bus Monday to make the other children laugh, creating a stench so bad that it was difficult to breathe. The bus driver handed Locke the suspension form the next day.

Polk County school officials say there's no rule against flatulence, but there are rules against causing a disturbance on the bus.

Locke says he wasn't the one passing gas.

Whether he did it or not, he might have gotten off easy. A 13-year-old student at a Stuart school was arrested in November after authorities said he broke wind in class.
---

Information from: The Ledger, http://www.theledger.com

[skymaster]

Originally Posted by thecruisequeen

If you can stand the smell??

That's what clothes pins are for isn't it?

Ken
"SKY"

[thecruisequeen]

Originally Posted by skymaster

That's what clothes pins are for isn't it?

Ken
"SKY"

Yes you are right Sky!!

[rinker250]

I was thinking a cork!!!

[thecruisequeen]

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New
York City Building, when a young and beautiful woman gets
into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She
turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by
Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator,
and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying,
"Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her
destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before
she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then
bends over and farts and says ... "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."

[rinker250]

I love broccoli...until now!!!

[Dave the Wave]

[Dave the Wave]

Any one remember the Pink Panther movie when Inspector Clouseau farts in the elevator?

[thecruisequeen]

Originally Posted by Dave the Wave

Any one remember the Pink Panther movie when Inspector Clouseau farts in the elevator?

[Pocono Pug]

What is a fart?

A fart is a piece of crap honking for the right of way

[thecruisequeen]

Good Morning Fart Gang!!!

I wish everyone a wonderful day filled with Quality Farts!!!

[Dave the Wave]

http://www.fart-joke.com/farts_at_work.htm

A MAN WITH A PASSION
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively effect on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home.

So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but also ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it.

Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

[Dave the Wave]

[rinker250]

Fart

You are blonde and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud.

So every time you fart, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus

Everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realize. ............





You're listening to your IPod !

[Dave the Wave]

[thecruisequeen]

The IPod's are trouble!!

[thecruisequeen]

Originally Posted by Dave the Wave

[thecruisequeen]

I don't want to ride a cruise ship elevator with this guy 8)

[WildRover]

I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????

[Dave the Wave]

Originally Posted by WildRover

I saw a guy do a Fart lighting at a party once. He called it a blue blazer though. It was blue. I never saw him again.
All I want to know is who was the guy (and you know it was a guy) who discovered this talent????

What makes you think girls don't do this too? Cruise Queen has.

[rinker250]

A guy did the fart lighting in gym class when I was in Junior High.

Unfortunatly for him he was buck naked (no U-trou) so all the hair was burned away, too!!!

[WildRover]

But discovered? Had to be done by a guy. I don't think girls sit around wondering if farts are flammable. Probably back in the cave man days when they had a lot of time on their hands so to speak. Must've been great entertainment!

[thecruisequeen]

Originally Posted by Dave the Wave

What makes you think girls don't do this too? Cruise Queen has.

Speedo King are you spreading rumors about me AGAIN!! :o

[Dave the Wave]

Originally Posted by thecruisequeen

Speedo King are you spreading rumors about me AGAIN!! :o

Just something I heard.....