A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from
reaching our full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue
to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"
The clouds were building and a severe storm was imminent, but "Barbi" thought she could make it home before the weather got too bad. Not quite halfway home, she got caught in a freak hail storm that lasted for almost five minutes. Once the storm passed, she got out of her new car to check the damage.
Although there were only a few small dents from the hail stones, Barbi was upset because she had only had the car for a few days. So, she stopped at a body shop on the way home to get an estimate. The body shop manager surveyed the damage and told her it would only cost $450.00 the fix. But Barbi's deductible was $500.00 and she wouldn't have the money until payday; so she started to cry.
The body shop manager decided to have a little fun with her, so he offered an alternative. He told her she could get the dents out herself if she blew on the tailpipe.
Barbi asked; "Will that really work?"
The body shop manager said; "Of course it will. Just wrap your lips around the tailpipe... blow really hard... and the dents will pop right out."
Barbi was so excited to have an inexpensive option, she jumped back in her car and sped off home. Once there, she parked her car in the driveway and waited for the tailpipe to cool down... afterall, she wasn't stupid!
Once the tailpipe had cooled, Barbi got on her knees... wrapped her lips around the tailpipe... and began to blow really hard. After several minutes of blowing, Barbi got up to see if the dents had disappeared. Of course, they hadn't, so she got back on her knees to try again. This went on for almost two hours.
Finally, Barbi's roommate (another blond) came out to see what she was doing. As Barbi explained what the body shop manager had told her to do, her roommate began laughing.
The roommate then said; "You know, that's never going to work that way... your windows are down!"
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair - given that you are blind - that you should know five things:
- The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
- The bouncer is a blonde girl.
- I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
- The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
- The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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