This was not told to me as a joke, but as something I missed on the evening news while I was away on my recent cruise:
A reporter was interviewing the Dalai Lama, and at the end of the interview asked him, through the interpreter, if he would be interested in hearing a "Dalai Lama joke". Since he's a good natured guy, he said yes.
Reporter: The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza joint, and...
Interpreter: What? Pizza joint?
Followed by a minute or so of explanation.
Reporter: The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza joint and orders a pizza. The clerk asks what toppings he'd like. The Dalai Lama responds, "Make me one with everything."
At which point the reporter cracks up, the Dalai and the interpreter look lost, and the feed returns to the news anchor, who says, "Ohh....kay. And in other news..."
A couple friends attended a concert a few nights ago. The gal got a well salted pretzel from one of the vendors outside the venue. After she ate it, she did not realize that her upper lip was crusted pretty badly with glazed salt -- that is, until she went to the Ladies' Room and happened to look into a mirror. But somebody from the security detail mistook the salt for some forbidden crystalline substance and followed her into the Ladies' Room thinking that she must be sky high to have that much crystal all over her face and was about to nab her when she started to clean it off. That gave her a bit of a scare.
I think that it was Uncle Sam that I saw on a street corner asking people for ( spare change ).
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
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Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013 Top-notch!