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Old August 22nd, 2011, 05:11 PM
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Default "Silver Tongued" Southerners

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."




























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Old August 22nd, 2011, 06:15 PM
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I personally think some of those comments are quite unique, humorous and possibly used by other troopers outside of SC.

Surely you are not implying anything about southerners and their colorful use of the language I hope !
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Old August 22nd, 2011, 06:31 PM
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Keep up the funnies!
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Old August 22nd, 2011, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by fun2cruiz View Post
I personally think some of those comments are quite unique, humorous and possibly used by other troopers outside of SC.

Surely you are not implying anything about southerners and their colorful use of the language I hope !
OH,,NOT AT ALL! (I was in law enforcement in Georgia, (Dekalb County P.D.) and Florida, so I know absolutely nothing about how we'uns talk down here,,,ya hear?) My brother is a retired Indiana State Policeman, but he lives in South Carolina now, and is slowly getting educated by us other Southerners. Funny thing is, that I also worked at NYPD, and believe me,,,,they do indeed, have a language all their own as well!

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Old August 23rd, 2011, 03:01 AM
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