Go Back   CruiseMates Cruise Community and Forums > People > Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs
Register Forgot Password?

Cruise Jokes & Trivia - Just For Laughs Share cruise trivia or jokes: Registered Users Only

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old October 19th, 2011, 02:58 PM
Member
Familiar Face
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 33
Default Top ten lists

How about a thread of cruise related top tens (think Letterman style). Here's one from a new book of cruise jokes and limericks:


TOP TEN REASONS YOUR PRE-CRUISE HOTEL CHOICE WAS A BAD ONE

1. The complimentary newspaper has the headline, "DEWEY ELECTED PRESIDENT!"

2. The mint on the pillow starts moving when you get close to it.

3. The pictures are not placed for decoration; they're there to cover up bullet holes.

4. You have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.

5. Only one television channel comes in, and even though the picture is bad, you can tell its you sitting on the bed in your room.

6. There's a chalk outline in the bed when you pull back the covers.

7. The City Morgue is located next door for their convenience.

8. Your wake up call is courtesy of a police helicopter.

9. "Park and Cruise" means while you're away locals use your car to cruise the neighborhood, and hopefully park it someplace where you'll find it.

10. Your hotel is featured every night on COPS!
.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old October 19th, 2011, 03:22 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Posts: 19,646
Default

Those are funny.

TM
__________________
CRUISES
Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011
Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013
Booked Allure of the Seas....12/27/2015
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old October 19th, 2011, 09:32 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default

10) Todd and Sarah were on my cruise

9) Instead of TV's we had radios

8) Ocean swimming was the only on board activity

7) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were the dinner entrees every night

6) Silent movies were shown in the theater

5) Long Island water was the only beverage

4) The only port we could visit was Transylvania

3) Every cabin had framed pictures of the Titanic

2) The entertainer was the grandson of Senor Wences

1) The cruise was 365 days
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old October 22nd, 2011, 07:31 AM
Member
Familiar Face
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 33
Default Nice Addition!

Very interesting and creative - I especially liked the Senor Wences & Long Island water ones!

Now, I would disagree with you on Todd and Sarah, but I guess that's for another thread.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old October 22nd, 2011, 11:47 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default Todd and Sarah

Quote:
Originally Posted by 61maris61 View Post
Very interesting and creative - I especially liked the Senor Wences & Long Island water ones!

Now, I would disagree with you on Todd and Sarah, but I guess that's for another thread.
You realize of course that I might have not been referring to the Palins .
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old October 23rd, 2011, 04:27 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Palm Coast, Florida
Posts: 19,646
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry43 View Post
You realize of course that I might have not been referring to the Palins .
Those names are not unusual. It could have been Todd an Sarah Smith.

TM
__________________
CRUISES
Century 4/1998
Mercury 4/2000+4/2006+7/2007
Sensation 4/2002
Infinity 4/2003
Summit 4/2004+4/2005
Carnival Liberty New Year's Eve 2007
Liberty of the Seas 5/2008+11/2009
Solstice 4/2009
Oasis 4/2010+4/13/2013
Allure 1/16/ 2011
Equinox 4/11/2011
Independence of the Seas 12/29/2013
Booked Allure of the Seas....12/27/2015
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old October 23rd, 2011, 05:08 PM
Member
Familiar Face
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 33
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Manuel View Post
Those names are not unusual. It could have been Todd an Sarah Smith.

TM
I actually thought it was referring to neighbors of mine, Todd & Sarah Polurleggski.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old October 23rd, 2011, 07:15 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default

Todd and Sarah Bachman
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old November 8th, 2011, 03:51 PM
Member
Familiar Face
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 33
Default Time For a New Addition:

Also taken from SHIP HAPPENS by M J Kikker:

WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS WHILE WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT CRUISE:

1. When someone says, “Have a nice day!”, tell them you have other plans
2. Drive to work in reverse
3. Write a short story using Alphabet Soup
4. Make up a language and ask people for directions
5. Go grocery shopping. Sneak items no one would usually buy into other’s people’s carts
6. Dance naked in front of your pets
7. If you have a toddler, dress him/her in clothes backwards before sending them off to pre-school or day care
8. Call up your local pizza place, ask for toppings they won’t possibly have (elephant ear, chocolate covered grasshoppers, zebra stripes). See how many you can ask for before they hang up on you.
9. Buy one of those horsey things on a stick and run around your neighborhood shouting, “THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!”
10. Buy an inflatable boat, have dinner in it on your front lawn, and tell neighbors you're practicing for your cruise.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old November 15th, 2011, 09:33 AM
Junior Member
Familiar Face
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 10
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 61maris61 View Post
Also taken from SHIP HAPPENS by M J Kikker:

WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS WHILE WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT CRUISE:

1. When someone says, “Have a nice day!”, tell them you have other plans
2. Drive to work in reverse
3. Write a short story using Alphabet Soup
4. Make up a language and ask people for directions
5. Go grocery shopping. Sneak items no one would usually buy into other’s people’s carts
6. Dance naked in front of your pets
7. If you have a toddler, dress him/her in clothes backwards before sending them off to pre-school or day care
8. Call up your local pizza place, ask for toppings they won’t possibly have (elephant ear, chocolate covered grasshoppers, zebra stripes). See how many you can ask for before they hang up on you.
9. Buy one of those horsey things on a stick and run around your neighborhood shouting, “THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!”
10. Buy an inflatable boat, have dinner in it on your front lawn, and tell neighbors you're practicing for your cruise.
))) will give a try
Reply With Quote
  #11 (permalink)  
Old April 19th, 2012, 07:01 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default

10 reasons why you love to post on Cruisemates:

10 )Friendly people

9)People live all over the globe

8) Interesting topics

7) Interesting responses

6) You can type in different colors

5) Nobody has to know your true identity

4) Sufficient room to type as much as you desire

3) David Letterman is not here

2) Board is open 24/7

The #1 reason you like to post here is :
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old April 25th, 2012, 07:53 AM
KellyKayden's Avatar
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 488
Send a message via AIM to KellyKayden
Default

Because my facebook and twitter are Getting too crowded!....oh, and keeping in tough with great people
__________________
NCL Epic 2012

"A painter paints pictures on a canvas, but musicians paint their pictures on silence"

Leopold Stokowski
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old April 25th, 2012, 09:27 AM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default

I'm not into social networking ,although nearly all my friends and relatives are.
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old April 25th, 2012, 11:11 AM
KellyKayden's Avatar
Senior Member
First Mate
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Toledo, OH
Posts: 488
Send a message via AIM to KellyKayden
Default

I do like twitter. Mainly because I have friends who live all ove the country and its like you can have a little chat with them all through the workday. Its a good place to vent...and you can choose who 'hears' it or not....lol
__________________
NCL Epic 2012

"A painter paints pictures on a canvas, but musicians paint their pictures on silence"

Leopold Stokowski
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old April 25th, 2012, 01:09 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 18,199
Default

If you and a friend happen to be on line at the same time you can e-mail chat which is something I often do.
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old April 30th, 2012, 08:18 PM
Senior Member
Admiral
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: MONTREAL
Posts: 1,985
Default

All good ones
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
cruise, jokes, ship, ten, top

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Trip's Top Ten! Trip Chit - Chat for Cruisers 9 June 20th, 2010 05:11 PM
Trip's Top Ten! Trip Norwegian Cruise Lines 2 June 11th, 2010 07:56 PM
Top Ten Stupidist Questions marcijjohnson Chit - Chat for Cruisers 12 December 14th, 2006 09:58 AM
Not on The Top Ten List? Trip Chit - Chat for Cruisers 11 August 20th, 2005 11:21 PM
Top ten for women fasteddie Chit - Chat for Cruisers 3 April 3rd, 2004 05:59 PM


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:46 AM.
design by: Themes by Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.1