I'm the family cruise editor and most of the cruises we've been on have been pretty strict about keeping kids in a certain age group according to their birthdates. I remember one of the counselors saying that they look at the manifest to make sure the kids are in the proper age group and not lying about their ages in order to be in an older group with a friend or sibling. You can always ask the counselors what their policy is once aboard ship but I would prepare your 12 year old that she'll probably be with her age group and not the teens.
Smooth sailing,
Luisa Frey Gaynor