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-   -   Is it OK to be fat? (http://www.cruisemates.com/forum/first-time-cruisers/278604-ok-fat.html)

anonymous fatty November 26th, 2003 12:06 PM

Is it OK to be fat?
 
My fiance and I will be taking our first cruise in 10 days, and I am a bit worried about the treatment I will recieve from both the staff and other cruisers due to my size. I have noticed that many messages on this site and on cruisecritic.com focus on the size of cruisers, and their apparant lack of self-control. I am young (early 20s), but may have a medical condition that causes my body to store a large amount of fat in my abdominal area, thus giving me a sort of "apple" shaped body. I know that I am no longer pleasant to look at in a swim suit, but I want to enjoy myself. However, I also don't want to be one of the people complained about in the "gripes" section who visually disturbed someone else's cruise experience. Any thoughts or comments (from either the fat or skinny side of the equation)?

zeno November 26th, 2003 12:30 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Ask yourself - Do you REALLY care about the opinions of people who are so ignorant and insensitive that they would judge you as person because of your physical appearance ? They are the ones with a problem not you.

LisaK November 26th, 2003 01:04 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Please don't let the responses on some of the boards upset you. A lot of the responses are "tounge & cheek" -unfortunatly there are some ignorant soles who have nothing better to do with their time than complain about something, anything. You will see folks of all different sizes and shapes. Just relax enjoy have a fantastic time and enjoy your vacation with your fiancee, and wear your bathing suit!

anonymous fatty November 26th, 2003 01:50 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I don't care how other people percieve me, it's just that I don't know if people on cruises outwardly act in the same manner that they write on message boards. I know that you can't control people's behavior, but I would like to be prepared in advance if it is usual for some cruisers to make comments, roll theirs eyes, or otherwise impress on you that the fact that you should dare to wear a swimsuit is visually displeasing.

Cruiseguy November 26th, 2003 10:46 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I know I will most likely get flamed for my comment but this is the way I feel. I am not fat nor am I skinny, I am pleasently plump. The problem that I see is if overweight people would wear their weight in a respectable fashion and with dignity there would be no problem. Where the problem begins is when a 300 pound 5'5" female wears a bikini and thinks she's hot or the 300 pound 5'7" man who has only lifted a beer for exersize thinks he looks hot in speedoo's. Bathing suits and other LOOSE fitting clothing are fine for overweight folks but lets show some dignity, don't try to be something your not. I don't have the body I once had so I don't try to look like that person anymore. SOOOO!! dress for your present weight and figure not the weight and figure you dream of.

P.S. When people say I'm overweight I just say "thats not true, I'm just short for my weight".

Kuki November 27th, 2003 03:12 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Anon.. not to worry at all! You'll have a wonderful time, and you'll find most everyone will treat you with respect.

The vast majority of cruisers are there to vacation, and have fun... not to make any fellow passengers uncomfortable for any reason.


Gal1974 November 28th, 2003 12:31 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Cruiseguy, no "flaming" from me! I agree with you 100%....

I am a plus size woman but dress appropriately. Now I know that some people are attracted to heavy woman and that is great however I am a heavy woman that thinks there is nothing attractive about an overweight woman or man in an itty bitty swimsuit!!! Then again I also think that women with larger than normal breasts should keep their bras on but that is my opinion as well......haha

As far as the original post.....there are people that are going to make comments, roll their eyes, sneer their noses regardless of what you have on regardless of where you are at and regardless if you are fat or skinny. That is just the way people are. Wear something in taste and that you are comfortable with. Everyone can't be happy all of the time so you might as well make sure that you are!

Enjoy your cruise. Live and let live.

carla823 November 28th, 2003 08:18 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I can completely sympathize with you. I'm leaving in about 8 days. I bought 4 different bathing suits and only one ended up being really good. It's one of those "tankini's" from Lane Bryant. It looks like a tank top and shorts and it's very very comfortable. I'm not nearly as nervous now but I have to admit I will feel akward being around all those string bikinis. I'm sailing with my male friend and he's very trim and fit. I would suggest just wearing the things you look and feel good in...ignore the other people and enjoy. What an amazing chance to enjoy the tropics!! Have a great time!

Carla


carla823 November 28th, 2003 08:25 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
wow, i just realized my coundown clock is wrong! i'm sailing on the 8th which is only 10 days (but we're flying to Ft Lauderdale on the 6th so I count that!). Ah well...


Thomas November 28th, 2003 06:09 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
You should not worry about it at all, you'll see (hear/feel) less on a cruise ship as you would in the mall. You will see plenty of people who are plus sized and the skinny taut bodied people will be few and far between.

Have a good time and don't worry. Just don't save the deck chair and nobody will even notice you.

Regards,
Thomas

Jeanne&Ellis November 29th, 2003 12:04 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Just enjoy yourself and have fun. I was once a size 8 and loved those little bikinis, now that I am a larger woman, I wear a one piece that has a skirt. I am still me inside and thats what counts. Anyone tells you differently, they aren't worth talking too.


hkolln November 30th, 2003 07:21 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Please don't listen to the idiots that say those things. Bueaty is inside and who cares what they think! Go, enjoy yourself and hold your head high! Some people just have nothing better to do then to talk about others. Shows they have insecurity problems.

Have a great cruise!


KL November 30th, 2003 08:46 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
It must be ok to be overweight, 80% of the general population is. It is your body, if it works for you, thats all that matters! Enjoy yourself.


readytogo December 1st, 2003 12:12 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
As a fairly large woman who just went on her first cruise, I was worried about this as well, but let me just say that I had no problems whatsoever! I never once felt out of place, even when I was lying on a deck chair in my bathing suit. It's hard to "just ignore what anyone else thinks" when it's you that they're making fun of. But, I was not made to feel out of place at all - in fact, I think one guy was even looking at me (in a good way) on deck! I was too insecure to do anything about it, but I did notice. I think that you should relax and expect the best in terms of treatment from others. Enjoy yourself to the fullest extent!!

anonymous fatty December 1st, 2003 02:01 PM

Re: Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
It's good to hear from someone that they were in the same position and fared well. I am still a little worried, of course, but hopefully my fears will prove unfounded when we embark next week!

readytogo December 2nd, 2003 11:50 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I found it helped me to feel reassured by coming up in advance with a few good comebacks in case someone said something rude. I know some people might think it's weird, but unless you've been in the position before, you really can't understand. I had a few "zingers" all ready in case I needed them and I felt a little better knowing that I had some "amunition" ready. Then I was extremely pleased that I didn't need them at all!! Remember, the majority of the population is overweight - it's only a small percentage of idiots who would actually say something. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised

Gal1974 December 2nd, 2003 10:06 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Just keep in mind when using those "zingers" that the person being zinged could come back with something even worse then where does that leave you?

I am big woman and when people make their comments or sneer their nose, I try to ignore them. I don't want to be brought down to their level!


DD December 3rd, 2003 09:39 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Hello, I took my girlfriend on the Granduer, I booked a suite with a huge balcony. I was thinking it would be a great trip; just the two of us. I was wrong, you see my girlfriend is 5"5" and about 175;she had the same fellings as you,she did not want to be seen on deck in a bating suit and she was so jealous of the skinny women. I told her over and over she looks great , she was upset and did not wan to dance or do anything. I am in shape myself and ate all the great food, she thought I was not helping her out by me eating so much, I was there for fun also and wanted to have a good time; she told me if I wanted to dance go find a skinny girl and have fun. I was on the cruise with her and not out to meet someone new even with all the skinny women aboard.

I think if you are overweight deal with it and do not bring down your boyfriend because you are upset about the way you look. I bought some photos and they were tossed out to sea. I am not saying all overweight women are this way it's just not our fault you are this way and if a guy pays your way treat him with respect.. There will always be skinny women and overweight women it's all about your personalty..

hkolln December 4th, 2003 04:46 AM

Re: Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
It sounds like your girlfriend has some self esteem issues. Maybe she could see someone to help her boost that up. Losing weight with those issues is not going to help anyways as she'll always feel inferior to everyone else. She needs some help in boosting her self esteem first.

I've been overweight most of my life but I never let that get me down. I'm not severly overweight (similar to your girlfriends weight) but I go to the beach and do everything else everyone does. I feel if someone doesn't like me for what I am on the inside then their loss not mine! Since she is your girlfriend you must find her attractive.

Just try to support her and see if she can get her self esteem up. Then it won't matter where she goes as she'll hold her head high!


readytogo December 4th, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
wow, definitely sounds like she has some issues! Unlike your girlfriend, i am severely overweight and yes it does affect your self esteem. But I can't imagine letting it ruin a great holiday, or even worse, ruining someone else's! It's all about feeling confident on the inside - the outside is totally irrelevant. I'm not saying that you always have to feel strong and proud (cause I don't), but at the very least, I will do everything I can to make the best of it. doesn't sound like your girlfriend enjoyed herself at all. what a shame.

HiramC December 9th, 2003 11:38 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
My wife and I are looking forward to our first cruise in February, and we've given no thought at all to what people might think of us. My wife is a size 28, and I'm just a shade under 500 lbs. We're gonna have a great time :)

Hiram

Lenora December 9th, 2003 12:15 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
That's the way it should be. Have a great time. People who judge by weight, are ignorant.

carol December 9th, 2003 01:54 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I saw 300 lb. nude people on the dutch side of St. Marteen. Quite a site to see I might add!!

Have Fun!

E.Maria December 28th, 2003 06:09 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
As a severely overweight person who is going on her first cruise with her husband I too feel a little insecure about how others will perceive me. However I have an aunt who is larger than me and has gone on two cruises and has had the time of her life. So hopefully I can overcome my fear and not feel as if everyone's eyes are on me when I stroll around the pool area with my one piece suit and shorts. Thanks for all the positive comments from the people that responded before

cowtec December 29th, 2003 09:44 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
15 years ago we went on our first cruise to Hawaii. I weighed less than I weigh now, but I still spent the cruise in a T-shirt and shorts, refusing to get in the pools or go to the beach for the same reasons you mentioned. I missed so much! I waited this long for another chance and, as of today, I have 4 swimsuits with a tankini still to buy, and I plan to spend time on the beach in St. Thomas and at the pools when we go on our cruise in April. Don't let people who don't know you and who you probably won't ever see again ruin your vacation. It's their loss for not taking the time to get to know you. Hold you head up and have a wonderful time!!!!

SAndrea91483 January 9th, 2004 12:44 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I realize that you have long since been on your cruise by now, but I will post this in case anyone else with the same problem might be reading. As an extremely obese woman myself, I was a little nervous about my first cruise. My fiance and his family had invited me to go with them on the Disney Magic. The thought that popped into my mind was "I'm going to be walking around in a bathing suit for a week? Yikes!" But then I thought what the hell, I'm going on a CRUISE!!! LOL And I can tell you I was definately NOT the only heavy woman there, and I didn't receive any rude comments from anyone. Granted I don't look like a model when I wear a swimsuit, but I was able to find a couple of swimsuits that flattered me better than others. One of them someone actually bought for me last year, but it's a solid black one piece with shorts a few inches above the knee attached to it, so it looks just as if I'm wearing a tank and shorts. The other is one I found at Fashion Bug and it's a swimdress. So for any plus sizes out there worried about swim wear, check stores that speacialize in plus sizes such as Lane Bryant, Avenue, and Fashion Bug.


BobbieE January 9th, 2004 02:40 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Thought I would add that I too am heavy and was a little concerned about my first cruise, to the point where I contacted the cruise company and asked how wide the door openings were!!!!! They were fine, so don't worry about that. I loved my cruise and had no problems regarding my weight. I found that Lands End has great bathing suits.
Bobbie

pg. January 9th, 2004 04:14 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Well everyone, I'm thin!! Very thin! Do I look good in a bathing suit? Heck no! I have the legs of an 80 year old , that's right they are butt ugly! Varicose viens that stick out a mile. Right from my mid thigh, down both legs, and blue and purple!! How's that for a visual!
I could get surgery, but I am waiting( don't ask why, just think of a flightless bird that Colonel Sanders cooks)
So how do I feel in a suit, well you figure it out. I take and wear a sarong type wrap, but to actually get in the pool I have to remove it and then WALK across the deck. This will explain why I have to have a deck chair right next to the pool( so watch out chair hogs I fight to the death) .
We all have issues we have to deal with, so fat or thin, suck it up and go and have a fun time!!

MysteriousVxin March 24th, 2004 12:03 AM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
Hi - I am plus sized woman in her 20's also! (and I work for Lane Bryant!!) I am going on my 3rd cruise in July and I could care less what anyone thinks of me! I am going with my family to have a great time! Don't listen to any ignorant idiot! Just enjoy yourself! Remember there are too many people in this world who feel bad about themself and they have to put other people down to make themself look/feel good - but they are the ones who have low confidence!!

And - by the way - Fat is the "F" word in my book! That is what I tell my customers who use it! hehe

(I hope that made you laugh!)


FATFOLKS March 25th, 2004 05:30 PM

Re: Is it OK to be fat?
 
I AM "BBW" BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN- I LOVE TO EAT , DRINK, AND HAVE FUN. MY MONEY IS THE SAME COLOR AS ANYONE ELSE'S, EVEN SKINNY PEOPLE. IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH MY FAT SELF THEY CAN KISS MY BBA__


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